Am I running into disaster

[Peter_Scott]

Hi,

Some may have seen my earlier posts about a abnormal brain MRI I had a year ago (abnormality found on my brain stem). As I have said I am soon due for a repeat MRI as I have been having daily headaches for the last couple of months.

I am not looking for reassurance but am looking for others who have health anxiety and how they would go forward.

I am a happy person, I have my own business, work hard but do not have friends or family I can talk to about the way I feel, I enjoy my life even with the pains etc, I want to live.

If after the MRI it turns out to be cancer I have already been told that there will not be a treatment, only radiation, and I would not have that due to the side effects. I can live without knowing I am going to die, but I think knowing I would give up just like that.


So my question is should I go for the test to confirm the diagnosis or should I live as long as I can fooling myself it may not be cancer, that way I will not give up and may just life that much longer?

I just don't want to get this test and find there is no turning back, I already KNOW and have seen the last scan from last year so know there is a problem, thank you,

Peter

[Onwards & Upwards]

Hey Peter

What a position to be in!

Could whatever showed up on the mri be just a cyst that has been there all your life?

Another member on here was talking about that just yesterday, the neurologist she saw said that 2-3% of people will have something show up on an mri but it might just be totally harmless.

I also read something along these lines on the Which? website, they were reviewing private health checks and they quoted a doctor on there saying that the scans included in these private health checks aren't the best idea because of that 2-3% statistic and that those people will be left with the feeling that they have a ticking time bomb, so to speak. I don't know what other symptoms you've had, if any but I wonder if this is the predicament you are in?

Could it be that you're just not ready for the scan right now? Might you feel better about having it done in a few more months?

[Cell block H fan]

Hi,

Some may have seen my earlier posts about a abnormal brain MRI I had a year ago (abnormality found on my brain stem). As I have said I am soon due for a repeat MRI as I have been having daily headaches for the last couple of months.

I am not looking for reassurance but am looking for others who have health anxiety and how they would go forward.

I am a happy person, I have my own business, work hard but do not have friends or family I can talk to about the way I feel, I enjoy my life even with the pains etc, I want to live.

If after the MRI it turns out to be cancer I have already been told that there will not be a treatment, only radiation, and I would not have that due to the side effects. I can live without knowing I am going to die, but I think knowing I would give up just like that.


So my question is should I go for the test to confirm the diagnosis or should I live as long as I can fooling myself it may not be cancer, that way I will not give up and may just life that much longer?

I just don't want to get this test and find there is no turning back, I already KNOW and have seen the last scan from last year so know there is a problem, thank you,

Peter


Hi Peter, I'm confused, what was the abnormality? They have left you alone for a year so nothing that needs treatment I assume? In which case I would want it to be looked in further if I were getting headaches. Maybe its something that is ok to leave alone all the while that you get no symptoms? Why go on sufferring those if there might be a way to sort it?
:hugs:

[guitarpants]

Get a second opinion from another neurologist about your previous scan. It may be very benign and you have nothing to worry about.

[Peter_Scott]

Well the truth of the matter is that I had previous MRI scans done in 2002 and nothing was seen. I had a CT brain done AFTER the abnormal MRI last year but this was at a local hospital (not a specialist clinic) and all was normal.

The Neurologist reported the abnormality looked either like a blood clot or inflammation, but now he is saying he is not sure and since these headaches he wants me to have another scan, so my doctor has arranged it for the 26th of this month.

My point is, if it is cancer what is the point in knowing as he has told me as it is on the brain stem (pons) then they can not even biopsy it. And if it is not cancer then why not forget it and just get meds for the headaches? Being a life long health anxiety guy I just could not cope with knowing I have brain cancer and can do nothing about it, am I making any sense?
Peter

[Onwards & Upwards]

So the latest mri/scan you've had done shows there's nothing there?

Sorry if I've misunderstood!?

[blondie47]

You poor thing. I don't have the answers, because my mind works like yours does. I pray to God everynight that if he is going to take me, take me without my knowledge. I never want to face the fight of cancer. I'm cowardly like that I guess.

I do want to tell you to go have the scans, but I totally understand your fears. Not sure that has helped any, other than to say you aren't alone.

[countrygirl]

Seems as if everyone is getting confused here if they haven't read your previous postings for full explanation. As I have read in your previous posts you had a mri scan that showed what they thought was just inflammation and were not concerned or wanted any followup treatment - because of the headaches YOU wrote to your neurologist and because of your letter he decided to ask your Dr to do a second mri scan as you were so concerned about your headaches - have I got it right so far???

the neurologist is not arranging an urgent scan himself but just wrote to your GP asking him to arrange one which he has.

I posted before that abnormalities on mri brain scans are incredibly common - I have a cyst on my brain stem and like you was told that anything nasty on your brain stem cannot be treated BUT 99.9% of abnormalities are benign and come and go and are of no consequence.
I also have what look like ms plaques on another part of my brain but its NOT MS I have had them show up for 10 yrs on bran scans but I dont have MS and they are just abnormalities that are unknown to medical science - remember mri are way in advance of what medicine can interpret.

So for your peace of mind you need this second scan - you yourself as good as asked for it with your letter to the neuro. If you don't hve this scan you will spend rest of your probably long life miserable and worrying whereas if you know for sure its nothing serious you can forget about it .

I can understand perfectly you obsessing over the original scan that is health anxiety and we all suffer terribly with it but to answer your question you need the second scan- you say you don't want to know you have cancer but you are totally convinced you do have it so what have you got to lose, without the scan you will be living thinking you are going to die anyway when I am certain this "thing" is going to be nothing to worry about.

I don't mean to be harsh as I said I understand but only getting half a story puts a different light on it.

Be brave - good luck and go for that scan and let us know :bighug1:

[crazyhayz]

I agree 100% with countrygirl. Great post. Couldnt of put it better myself. x

[blondie47]

Wow. I could not have fallen on your post at a better time countrygirl. I'm in Hell right now, waivering on whether or not to show up for a scan I'm having done on Thursday. Not sure I can face it but when I read your post it just does sound so logical. I think I need to print it out and keep with me.

[Peter_Scott]

Thanks for your replies and countrygirl thank you for your logical and level headed post, you make very good sense. You are also right if people have not read all my posts they do not get the full picture, I didn't want to repeat all I had said before as it could bore people who have read them.

Knowing me I may well have to go with having a second scan, but I still have strong reservations.

I am going to Leicester Hospital today to see a GI doctor for a follow up to my ongoing indigestion problems, it is a 4 hour round trip but he is an excellent GI doctor so it maybe worth the long trip, so I will get this out the way first, thank you,Peter