I Cant Believe It....Ive Relapsed..

[crazyhayz]

Basically, as u know from previous posts, i thought i was 90% cured of anxiety disorder. After loads of sessions of CBT and taking Citalopram 20mg for the last couple of months, i started to feel alot better. Then i just felt amazing. I havent had a panic attack in ages. And two days ago i started feeling lightheaded (but it was constant, not just every now n then, it was all day) but i didnt let it bother me coz i just knew it was anxiety and tried my best to shurg it off and think everything ive been taught so far etc etc. Woke up the day after and it was STILL there. And i had it all day yesterday. And yes uve guessed it....ALL day today. 3 days now. Its so bad i get off balance and wobbly on my feet, and it seemed everything around me was moving or swaying from side to side or up and down.

I started getting tightness in my heart area today (along with the constant lightheadedness/dizziness) which is something i always get with anxiety, and i went to asda earlier on with my partner and baby son and BAM.... HUGEEEEE panic attack out of nowhere... I was saying over and over to my partner "oh my god im guna faint hun, oh my god" I didnt faint, and i took a dizepam which i always carry with me. The panic attack subsided, as it always does, but i STILL feel CONSTANTLY lightheaded. Why has this come on out of the blue and done this?! I was so in control, i felt like i had my life back. Now i could just cry and cry and cry. Maybe i need stronger Citalopram.

But I just cannot blv i have relapsed. And also dont UNDERSTAND why/how i have relapsed??!! Its angering me but also so upsetting for me :( Im now starting to worry about my ENT specialist appointment on June 1st, but it hasnt bothered me 1 bit up until now! I feel back to square one :( And I feel STUPID AND THICK that i actually believed i was getting better too! Im so naive, im a complete joke. I dont kniowwhat to do now, im getting all the horrible symptoms again, and nothing seems real around me. Im wobbly so scared to stand up :( I just hate everything now and i felt so happy only a few days ago :( Sorry to go on, i just cant believe it :'( Any words of support guys? I dont know what to do :'( xxxxx

[princes]

its hard to find the words of support because sometimes it doesnt matter what people say when your in the moment of panic nothing seems to sink in. the good thing is you've beat it before so you can do it again. i have had a few weeks where ive felt great then outta the blue feel dizzy and also to scared to stand up cos im all wobbly then comes the onslaught of all the other symptoms.im not taking any meds as i want to beat this on my own.. try not to let ENT appt worry you. not great word of support but atleast you know your not alone.x

[crazyhayz]

Thank you :)

[Ella_Jayne]

I'm so sorry you feel this way. I've went through something like this where I thought I was OK after tests and CBT only to start worrying again and then like you a panic attack and in a supermarket as well. I get the dizzy/lightheaded feelings too. It's terrible. It got so bad for me that everytime I would get up I felt like I was gonna fall back down. It's probably one of the most frightening and frustrating symptoms of anxiety.

I suggest that you get more CBT if you can. It sounds like the lightheadedness is where your anxiety started to creep back in little by little, most likely subcouciously than actually knowing you were doing it. Then obviously the panic attack was when your anxiety peaked. Just because you had a panic attack doesn't mean that you haven't made progress, you just had a little blip.

Tomorrow is a new day, I'm sure you were thought breathing exercises and methods of relaxation when you did CBT, why don't you try them again? That's if you haven't already. Think about how you handled the situation in Asda, do you think you would have handled it as well when your anxiety was at it's highest a few months ago? I doubt it. You've done well. You're not naive, not at all.

Onwards and upwards hun. Today was just a blip, it hasn't taken away from the progress you've made so far. :)

[agnes]

No, you are definitely not alone. I'm in a similar position to you, really disappointed that the anxiety has come back. I was thinking earlier, I just wish I could be "normal" like most other people I know.

But, you're coping, I'm coping and so we should be proud of ourselves. We'll get through it.