Getting better but to what consequence?

[mad4it]

My panic attacks are still very apparent but i have learnt to deal with them. Ok i dont walk out of the house and stride confidently up the street but at least i can sit at home and if an attack happens i can deal with it. The problem i have now is that i am totally alienated from my family especially my husband (he hates me and my problem) lol. He sees the last four years as being just an incredible burden on him and often tells me how much he hates the fact that i cant go shopping, to work or anything really anymore. My sisters look at me with sympathetic eyes but all the time are thinking where is that person who could always be counted on to deal with the problems in my life. Lol i dont do that anymore for them. Thats why i dont hear from them for weeks on end. I havent seen my parents for nearly a fortnight which obviously upsets me but i really cant leave the house right now. I feel so guilty as my dad was recently diagnosed with cancer and started his treatment last weekend. I really want to be strong for him but cannot find the strength which is hard for me as i was always the one with buckets full of the stuff. So whats the point of fighting the personal battle just so i can sit comfortably in my own house then feel like putting an end to it all because of the effect it has had on my family ? Feels as if i need help more than ever even though it looks as if i am getting better.

[h_t]

I am so sorry to hear about your situation - there is nothing worse than not feeling support from people at times like this. I hope you have felt support through this site at least?

Remember, you're NOT weird and you're NOT alone. I'm so sorry about your husbands behaviour, it sounds awful. Please have a look at this site, it has helped me loads

http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/

Take care

[Typer]

Sorry to read about your Dad.


It is such a shame your husband thinks of you, or your panic as a burden. I guess it is hard for everyone else, especially if they have never experienced panic. I often think this actually helps keep an anxious person anxious and brings about shame and guilt when you just cant help it and probably hate it more than anyone.

Just know that people can and do recover.

[jude uk]

Those who do love us find it very difficult to understand how we feel and it is hard for them because they can remember how we where before. We at the same time just want to get better and live a "normal life".. The answer I feel is to keep everyone informed about how we feel and ask for their patience and support during this time.