New and in need of help

[newbie76]

Hi all,
I guess I am no different than most of you on this website. I suffer from severe morning anxiety. This time it started over the Easter weekend. I am very short sighted and coming home one night I realised my sight had worsened yet again which kicked everything off.
Fast forward 2 weeks and I wake up every morning between 4 and 5 with a terrible knot in my stomach. I can't stay still in bed, I go to the toilet 2 or 3 times, I get the gag reflex, like I need to throw up so I kneel in front of the toilet and try to be sick, but nothing comes out.
I cannot eat breakfast anymore and I force myself to have something at lunch, even though it's really minimal. I still manage to have dinner.
My GP prescribed Diazepam (to be taken when things are bad) and Citalopram (I am on day 3) but so far I cannot see any improvement... if anything things are getting worse.
Thursday I am supposed to go on holiday with a friend and we will be sharing a room and that terrifies me right now because I don't really want her to see me like that or to spoil the holiday for her too.
I really wish I knew what to do. I have tried the Bach flowers-Rescue remedy but I don't feel any different and the breathing techniques only seem to work for like 2-3 minutes.
I really need help....

[nomorepanic]

Hi newbie76

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Jannie2948]

Hi there, you will get lots of help here and if you need any information regarding citalopram I would suggest you read the citalopram survival guide, I found it so helpful when I first started on the meds. When I stated on 20mg of cit initially the anxiety increased for the first couple of weeks and the side effects were pretty bad, not everyone gets these side effects though, so stick with them. It took me a good 6 weeks to feel the benefit of them and then after 3 months had them increased to 40mg and feel so much better now. Still have the odd blip here and there but nothing I can't handle.

As I said, you will find lots of help here from people who are in exactly the same place that you are. I found it so very helpful to me and still do. I suffer with anxiety/panic but feel much better than I did late last year.

I hope you will soon start to feel the benefits of the meds, but I would say stick with them and you will get there. All the best to you.

Jannie x x

[newbie76]

Thank you Jannie, I was on Citalopram about 5 years ago and I told my GP that I didn't find it beneficial, but he insisted we give that another go.
I wanted something that would get me better faster. I really don't think I can take 6 weeks of this ordeal...
I have also asked him to refer me to a psychiatrist so I am going back to see my GP tomorrow to get the referral.
Before starting the Citalopram I was also having a can of beer or a glass of wine in the evening and this helped me relax but I know that now I can't anymore, so I really feel helpless.
Furthermore my parents are coming to visit me from Italy in 3 weeks and they will be staying with me. I told them yesterday on the phone that I am anxious, but I think they will be in for a shock when they actually see how bad I am, listening to me getting sick in the toilet and all that...

[jaded jean]

Hi Newbie76.
I have just joined today. I am on citalopram/diazepam still in the early stages tho and yes I feel like crap in the mornings didnt want to get out of bed when it first started. in fact I did for two weeks -lost 2 stone in weight -I did not even have the motivation to turn over in bed let alone anything else.I had the sicky feelings too. Just hang on in there each day will get better. I have had some uplifting and encouraging replies too. take care
Jean

[chrislot]

Feeling worse in the mornings, nausea and inability to eat breakfast, are classic symptoms of pyroluria, an anxiety disorder due to a deficiency of zinc and vit B6. Also research copper overload. Hope this helps.

[Jannie2948]

I've never taken any meds for this before, so have nothing to compare it to. I also was given 2mg of diazapam to get me through the bad times but only took them as and when I needed them. How long were you on the meds before? I'm sure your parents will understand if you are feeling unwell, I have had my son come home to look after me whilst I have been ill and he has been absolutely brilliant, wouldn't have got through it without his help. I know it seems like a long time to wait for them to kick it, but for myself it was well worth it. Some people find that it works quicker than that, we are all different I know. I don't know if there is anything that will make you feel better faster, but you can always ask your Dr and the psychiatrist. I too have hypnosis/relaxation from a therapist and I find this also has helped me.

I wish you the very best.

Jannie x x

[Jannie2948]

I too have started taking zinc and b6 a couple of weeks ago, not sure if this could also have something to do with me feeling that much better, but hey ho, try anything to beat this. Thanks Chrislot.

Jannie x x

[newbie76]

Thank you all once again for the replies.
It helps me seeing I am not alone in this and that there are others who share my pain.
At the moment I am only getting help from my partner, but -fortunately- he doesn't suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and therefore can't really understand what's going on with me.
He says: "You have to be stronger, you have to react, why don't you go out for a walk/cinema/etc." but none of this make any sense to me right now as I am just feeling too helpless to do any of that.
I did tell him everything would be so much better if I could just die, but he got really upset so I am not saying that to him anymore.

[jaded jean]

Hi newbie76.
Educate your husband! does he come to the doctors with you? I insist that mine comes along and believe me I bare my soul in that room.whether hubby cringes or not .this affects the whole family, it cannot be dealt with alone. I will even ring for a telephone consultation with my dotor just for reassurance.Have I used to beg my husband not to do overtime. I would clockwatch to see when he was due home as well. My work colllegues are few and far between in calling, I call them but generally too busy(they). See if you can get a referal to see a cpn orget counselling or whatever is on offer for you.
Jean

[newbie76]

Well, so far I have only been to my GP, although he said he will refer me to a specialist. But my partner has not been with me yet.