putting on a face

[Maj]

Does anyone else put a face on no matter how they feel? I went to my mum's for lunch the other day. I had been feeling so down. She had watched me walking up the path and shouted from the lounge that I looked so down. I just replied that I was tired. She said to me on the phone the next day that she was telling my dad that I had looked so down when I didn't know she was watching and that when I walked in the room I had a huge smile on my face. She sounded so touched by it. When I came off the phone I went upstairs, locked myself in the toilet and cried for Scotland!! It probably sounds stupid. I just felt though that sometimes it's so difficult to put a face on, but I just can't be nasty and horrible, no matter how I feel. It's a struggle at times. But am I doing myself any favours by always putting a face on? Am I talking nonsense or does anyone know what I mean?!! Or am I just hormonal?!! Sorry for prattling on but I still feel tearful that my mum was so touched by it and I think she really felt for me. Sorry if anyone reads this and doesn't know what I'm on about!! It's probably just me.
Myra x

[MOJO]

Hello Myra,
I know what you mean. I do this too, as I'm sure lots of people here do. I put the smile on and try to chat away as if nothing's wrong even when I feel really low or even when I'm suffering terrible anxiety. I didn't used to hide it when I first became unwell because I was so scared by it all that I just couldn't cover up my feelings. Now I have had plenty of practise and can bluff my way through quite well. At least that's what I think! However my family tell me that they know when I'm bad anyway.:blush:
I think we do this to try and stop hurting our family. Also I know it got to the stage where they couldn't cope with me anymore so I decided it was best to put a face on it all. Don't you sometimes feel though that when you put a face on things and "pretend" you actually can end up feeling better anyway? It's like you can convince your brain that you are ok. I guess that's proof of the "mind over matter" theory.
Sorry to ramble. I'll stop now!!!
Love Judy.xxx

[Maj]

Thank you Judy for your kind reply. Yes, I think it is a good thing when you can put a face on no matter how you feel and it probably does make you feel better in the long run. Just my mum mentioning it though made me realise how we really try and look as though we're 100% and strangley made me feel so emotional about it. But like I said, it'll be my hormones as well because I'm at that "funny age".
Myra x:hugs:

[Veronica H]

:bighug1:I know exactly what you mean. My sister spotted me doing just the same thing a while ago. She said I had become a very accomplished actress and was shocked to see me transported to a very dark place when I thought the cameras were off me. I was quite anxious that day but did not want my son and nephew to pick up on it. I was quite emotional after she noticed it too. Having my cover blown was a bit unsettling. I intend to carry on doing this though, on the basis that I would turn down many invitations and retreat into my little world again if I didn't, and every such outing gives me some positives to build on. I think my anxiety is overall returning to managable levels because I 'put my face on' and get out there. This is not a sign of weakness in you Myra, but a strategy to manage your illness and to keep it from impacting too much on others. As social animals we become unsettled when anyone in the group is anxious and try to fix the problem. A pack of dogs does this by attacking a nervous dog....glad we are humans.:) love and hugs to you:flowers:.

Veronicax

[Maj]

Veronica, once again thank you for your kind and comforting words. It's so good to know that others know what you are talking about. I am so glad that you are starting to feel better.
Myra x:hugs:

[gypsywomen]

yesmyra i do at times ,i find it helps me ,,but there are times when i show my feelins but then my family get upset ,and that is last thing i want to do ,they have seen to much of me looking down ,, i feel for you myra your such a wonderfull women xxx

[Vanilla Sky]

Think a lot of us do this , In some ways it's good like when you have to go to work , you can't go about with your face tripping lol. But yes sometimes it's hard to paint that smile on and it is ok to show trusted people how we are feeling at times .
We can sometimes trick our brain into feeling ok by just smiling and after some time it does lift you .... easier said than done though xx

[Maj]

Gypsywomen, thank you for your lovely words. Paige, yes I too go about my work smiling. So many people have said to me that I'm always so cheery!! If only they knew how we felt half the time!! I was just caught on the hop by my mum!! She really made me think about it and made me aware of just how much we put a face on that it moved me to tears (when on my own though as usual!!). Sometimes us anxiety sufferers put ourselves down about feeling weak, when infact we are probably far stronger than most.
Myra x:hugs::hugs: