jacko296
18-04-10, 14:49
Hi everyone... ireally need to need have a rant about what is going on..I am so exhausted with tireless endeavour to feel better..Basically i have trouble with alcohol on and off for years and have used it in the past to self medicate i gues.(to no avail)..i hasten to add.
Well i quit entirely well over a month ago...and am proud of that,and in certain ways have felt some improvement but..am still experiencing that nagging little imp in my head...that churned up feeling in my stomach..loss of appetite..bad sleeping patterns...you know the drill.
Anyway..have done alot of research on 5HTP..and was really looking forward to trying it and holding out that this may be the answer...i know this is what is referred to as 'magical thinking' but i had really been hoping this would work out...of course my disorder had other ideas..It can make me feel so damn pathetic.
I took a 50mg..at arouund 9pm..and then again at 10..i then had convinced myself this was too much..i will have a bad reaction..need to go to hospital..etc..hurricane of fear for 20-30 min..had to fone a friend who knows alot about amino acids for reassurance..This is a natural supplement for gods sake...why oh why am i so terrified of adverse reactions with everything that i put in my system??
I by no means want to discoursge anyone from taking 5hTP..as i am positive that it was my disorder rearing its ugly head and have read really positive articles regarding it..but of course am now reluctant to continue..for fear of a repeat performance...arrghhhh!!
I know acceptance,acceptance,acceptance...but i dont want to bloody accept... i want to recover COMPLETELY...and live the life i should and an entitled to..
Im not on any meds at the mo...and am considering them again..but worried that i will spend my ENTIRE time..obsessing about side-effects etc.I am so frigging of being locked in my own head!!..Help!
Apart that im fine.....:weep:
J.
Well i quit entirely well over a month ago...and am proud of that,and in certain ways have felt some improvement but..am still experiencing that nagging little imp in my head...that churned up feeling in my stomach..loss of appetite..bad sleeping patterns...you know the drill.
Anyway..have done alot of research on 5HTP..and was really looking forward to trying it and holding out that this may be the answer...i know this is what is referred to as 'magical thinking' but i had really been hoping this would work out...of course my disorder had other ideas..It can make me feel so damn pathetic.
I took a 50mg..at arouund 9pm..and then again at 10..i then had convinced myself this was too much..i will have a bad reaction..need to go to hospital..etc..hurricane of fear for 20-30 min..had to fone a friend who knows alot about amino acids for reassurance..This is a natural supplement for gods sake...why oh why am i so terrified of adverse reactions with everything that i put in my system??
I by no means want to discoursge anyone from taking 5hTP..as i am positive that it was my disorder rearing its ugly head and have read really positive articles regarding it..but of course am now reluctant to continue..for fear of a repeat performance...arrghhhh!!
I know acceptance,acceptance,acceptance...but i dont want to bloody accept... i want to recover COMPLETELY...and live the life i should and an entitled to..
Im not on any meds at the mo...and am considering them again..but worried that i will spend my ENTIRE time..obsessing about side-effects etc.I am so frigging of being locked in my own head!!..Help!
Apart that im fine.....:weep:
J.