New to site - fear of dying brings on panic attacks

[sweetmummy]

My 1st panic attack that I remember was when I had just turned 16 years old. It was my english standard grade exam & id just found out my great aunt was dying half an hour before I went in. I couldnt concentrate, thoughts of dying kept going throw my head, what happens when you are gone, can we really look on over our loved ones etc. Before I knew it, I felt like I couldnt breathe I felt like the walls were closing in. I was escorted from my exam 10 minutes before it was due to end. My aunt died 2 days later & I had a really bad attack in the hospital, the nurses showed me how to calm myself down & told me to go see my doctor.

Ive suffered from them ever since. The main trigger is death, although thankfully ive actually only really lost 3 family members within my lifetime (im 28), I feel really blessed, but feel this has also added to my fear.

I dont know what to do, my doctor has had me on propranol every since I was 16, altho as the attacks became more frequent he tried to put me on vallium, but i have kids now so dont want to spend my life spaced out.

Tonight I took a really bad attack as i tried to close my eyes to go to sleep. Im so scared, that I'll scare the kids one day when i take one. My husband tries his best to calm me down, but I always feel as if hes being condisending, altho I know afterwards he only just wants to help. tonights one lasted 38mins.........

I honestly feel im the only one in the world that is this petrified of dying, everyone I know thinks im over reacting. Ive tried to tell them that its not like i want to have this fear but they say i should get over it, but how do you get over dying. Need someone to talk to. Please tell me im not alone.

[diane07]

Hi sweetmummy

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[suzy-sue]

Hi and:welcome:Sweetmummy .Im sure you will find lots of support here .There is a chatroom you can join after 5 days of being a member .In the meantime the forum contains lots of useful information to help you on your way to beating your panic .Take care Sue x

[sweetmummy]

Thank you, im just glad to find out im not the only one.

[Patty]

Hi sweetmummy

:welcome:to NMP. It's great that you've joined. There is so much information & help here.

I also have this fear of dying. It can get really bad just as I'm trying to go to sleep and all these thoughts creep into your mind.

I hope it helps to know that you're not alone in how you're feeling.

Best wishes :hugs:

[sweetmummy]

Thanks it does help, after being on here last night, i managed to go to bed a little bit more settled, which is the best ive felt going to bed for quite a while.

thanks again for replying. x :hugs:

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and welcome to NMP :welcome: Paige x

[Dazza]

You are not alone for sure!

There are countless people on this website (and countless more who aren't) who are going through what you are.

I really feel for you. I've had this great fear of dying for the past 2 years now, ever since I had my first panic attack (I thought I was having a heart attack, so extreme were the symptoms).

Ever since then, i've been in and out of Drs surgeries and hospitals, had many tests, all of which have come back normal. And yet, the physical symptoms (many of them) go on, as the the daily fear of dying.

What speficially scares you about death? for me, it is the thought of having a painful death (heart attack or stroke).

I have been really struggling with the anxiety recently, so going to see a psychologist again tomorrow... talking always helps... so please continue to share things here. :o)

[sweetmummy]

Dazza, what really scares me is not being here, not existing. What happens to me after im not here. At the moment we are existing, but what afterwards.

The doctor suggested tablets, hypnotherapy etc. Im on tablets that help now & again, but sometimes the thoughts are too strong. I did try getting hypnotised, but the guy said I was too strong willed either that or I didnt believe!

Ive actually thought i was going to have a break down once becos I couldnt stop a panicing, in one day i had 5 attacks. 3 of which was outside the house.

My doctor wants to try what ever to help, he's suggested counselling, which I am open to, but there is a waiting list, so it could be a while. He's known me since i was born, literaly, so knows how stressful its been.

Thanks for your reply. Im finding talking on here is helping, becos my friends & family only ever say, either you'll grow out of it or it happens to everyone. Im so glad ive found this site. :) X

[sweetmummy]

Thanks Paige, its a great site. :) x

[Jess_19]

Hello,
you are not alone, i suffer from the same thing. I have a huge fear of death, of myself dying and my close family in particular my mum, i cry all the time because of it. I also get panic attacts from it although not as bad as urs but i fear that they will get worse if i dont do something. I thought i was alone before i joined this site only yesterday but i have found many other people with the same fear which is comforting.

Jess X

[weeble40]

hi mummy welcome along, just wanted you to know your deffo not alone, this is my fear which brings on the odd panic, try n pop by chat sometime, in the meantime, the articals on the left are a great source of help, certainly helped me loads

Emms x