PDA

View Full Version : agoraphobia worse after success



sedalia
21-04-10, 09:06
I have suffered from agoraphobia for nealy a year, following a big panic attack out of the blue. I can take the dog for short walks and go to the newsagents a few hundred yards up the road but apart from that can't go anywhere on my own. When I do go out with my husband I am constantly anxious and lightheaded.On Saturday we had to travel to london for my sister's party. It was a big challenge, getting the train and then a crowded london bus, but I did it. I felt so pleased with myself when I got back but the confidence didn't last and the following day when we went into town which is only 5 minutes away, I felt worse than ever. It is so frustrating, constant setbacks making you believe you will never get better. I know a lot of the anxious feelings are memory, so why does the mind always choose the bad memories to hang on to and torture you with, rather than the memory of the successful achievements? Why can we never get better progressively like wth a physical illness, at least then there would be some hope. This morning I was out with the dog in a field just up the road from my house, something I do everyday. Some days it's easy, but this morning I felt like I was going to pass out, and I did the worse thing,I rushed home, but what do you do when you suddenly feel as if your body is closing down? I immediately dropped the dog off and made myself go for a walk around the block (literally 2 minutes), but it is so disheartening, now i feel anxious about the same thing happening later when I go out. I ]ust feel like giving up today. I've not progressed at all in the past year.

hannybun
21-04-10, 10:42
Hi Sedalia

I'm so sorry you feel like this, i am too an agoraphobic after an illness at xmas i havnt been out since, i feel not too bad close to my house but after that the palms start sweating and feel faint, it is awful and i truly feel for you but please do think of all the positive steps you have done like you went back out there and went for a walk that takes courage xx

Loraine
21-04-10, 11:44
Hi Sedalia, sorry your feeling like that i know how you feel iv,e been there and still am but i found a website yesterday called anxietycoach.com, it teaches you how to breath properly in that kind of situation, apparently when were anxious we breath to shallow causing us to hyperventilate so we need to learn how to belly breathe and this website teaches you, I tried it out yesterday and it did help but it takes a bit of practise, its worth it, good luck xx:hugs:

sb001f8994
21-04-10, 12:27
Hi Sedalia,
We tend to give into our anxiety and we cant help it! Its so frightening at the time and although we know logically we wont die from it our brain thinks otherwise.Ive been battling with agoraphobia for 30 years now, not all bad you will be relieved to know! Most of the time I have been out going, holidays, parites etc all the normal things in life but I have had a few occasions where I have been house bound, now being one of them. Im doing baby steps, the idea is to retrain the brain and doing it very slowly. Last year I was never much further than the corner of my road away but now Im going into the local supermarket, only the first aisle but Im working on that one. I can get round a busy round-a-bout and go for short journeys, all in the car with my dad driving. At first I just went to the corner and came back, then when I was doing that with ease I furthered to the end of the road and so on. I am a little stuck right now as Im reluctant to go that extra mile. Im doing most journeys now with little or no panic but cant push myself. I keep promising to go further but then chicken out when Im out there even though I feel fine. Its just the fear of perhaps having a panic thats stopping me now.
As long as you are strong with yourself and do things slowly and show your brain that your in control of it not it in control of you! You did ever so well going to your sisters party. Try and remember how good you felt after making such good progress and with that in mind start going out again, slowly does it and take charge of your life again, if I can do it anyone can!
Best wishes and take care,

sedalia
22-04-10, 10:54
Thank you everyone for your replies and kind words of support. I know I mustn't be downhearted but I wonder if anyone ever really gets cured, or if it's something which comes and goes for the rest of your life. My only consolation at the moment is that I'm 45, I know it sounds stupid but it must be even worse for people a lot younger than me who have a whole lifetime of it ahead of them. Sorry to sound so defeatest! I am trying to follow Claire Weekes advice but sometimes you just think is it reallly all worth it if you can never completely go back to the person you were before it started.

mick_uk
22-04-10, 13:41
Hi Hi Sedalia,
I know sometimes you think 'is it really worth it' but it is believe me. At the moment I'm building a time machine so we can all go back to when we were well, but it's hard to get the parts nowdays.
Agoraphobia is one of those ilnnesses that comes and goes and for no reason suddenly you suffer a setback,but you must keep trying, never let it win even if it feels like you are taking one step forward and two steps back.
Don't be downhearted, remember the times you conquered it and build on that.
take care

Mick

sedalia
23-04-10, 14:39
A time machine sounds great! I have wished for one so many times, even before I got agoraphobia! Let me know if you get the parts and I'll be first in the queue. Thank you for making me smile and for your supportive words.

jude uk
23-04-10, 15:34
First of all, well done on the trip to London. I can imagine how difficult that was for you but you did cope.
I can remember the days, weeks and months of looking out of my window just wishing I could go out.
Agoraphobia, yes someone did look at my bald head and say "Oh yes thats to do with hair loss"

I dont think agoraphobia is really a fear of open spaces as some say but more to do with the fear of what may happen to us when we are out. In some ways we could say it was a health anxiety because we suddenly feel unwell and need to get home or to a "safe place". The reason behind that is we can phone someone or have someone near us.

I only managed to over come it when I started to face the fear. I suppose its like being unfit and going to the gym. At the start its very difficult but the more we go the fitter we become. The more we face the fear the less the fear frightens us.
Keep taking the small steps and keep the positive thoughts going.

bluedaisy
25-04-10, 20:07
Thank you everyone for your replies and kind words of support. I know I mustn't be downhearted but I wonder if anyone ever really gets cured, or if it's something which comes and goes for the rest of your life ... but sometimes you just think is it reallly all worth it if you can never completely go back to the person you were before it started.

I feel like I could have written this part of your post! I suffer from depression as well as anxiety and agoraphobia and I frequently find myself dwelling on thoughts that I will never get over this, so what's the point.

I also suffer a lot from post-success anxiety. I'm housebound at the moment so it's not really from going out, but having people to visit is a huge trial and I usually find the worst anxiety hits me afterwards. In the past I've had fantastic days when I've been out and felt pretty much ok, only to find the following days are anxiety hell. So I sympathise.

Well done for getting to London - a huge achievement :)