Circumstances causing anxiety

[fizzandfiddles]

Hi, I couldn't find any posts on this so i thought i might start one.

Is anyones Anxiety made worse or caused by the circumstances they find themselves in?

For example, getting evicted or moving house
Boss at work not understanding you and shouting at you
to larger work load
House mates or neighbors bullying you.

Are there any ways in which you can find comping strategies for these situations of high emotional stress?


I ask this because I was making real progress with my CBT until my house mates had a drunken night of shouting and started trying to beat my door down. I could not cope with this and now I am back to being anxious and depressed every day when i feel before i got ill i would have been able to deal with it.

[Spagetti]

Hi Fizz,

The situations you describe are very stressful and can definately increase anxiety.

I wouldnt, as Im sure most people, have reacted well to a drunk trying to beat down my door either.

Im sorry you are feeling so bad, but to be honest it isnt suprising going by what you are having to deal with at the moment. Is there any way you could improve your situation? Such as looking into moving in with more considerate housemates, or talking to your boss about your workload?

In the meantime it is important to make time for yourself everyday to unwind, even if its just a hot bath.

I hope your situation improves soon x

[Alicat]

Yes-definitely!! I've always suffered from depression when I've spent too long alone. School and university summer holidays were hell but I was ok again when I was back with people. My anxiety kicked in since I had to move into a flat and live on my own. Long story, but due to physical disability. I overdosed because I was overwhelmed with being alone and in pain. That was 3 years ago and my anxiety has been there to some degree all the time. My neighbour above me is an inconsiderate ****** and hates me because I've got him in trouble for keeping a dog he was abusing and playing his music ridiculously loud and he intimidates me.

Anyway, yeah circumstances definitely can cause anxiety! :ohmy:

[ammiemum]

:blush:oops seem to have lost first attempt.

yes i know i am much worse when circumstances occur -i feel i lose everything i had previously gained...

not good just now- but have actually come on here in an attempt to find something which might help...

[daydreamer]

Yes. Just when I think I am making progress, something that causes me emotional stress can bring me right back down again. I know how you feel about being in a situation you would not rather be in. My situation is causing me stress and anxiety but Im unable to get out of it untill I get a job and I am financially secure, however I cant get a job at the moment because of my anxiety! I just have to deal with it as best I can, but I know that I wont fully recover untill I am in a situation I feel safe in.

And yes, before I got anxious it really woulnt have bothered me as much as it does now, I was more independent then but now I rely on others! I guess its the fight or flight thing too, I try to run from things now rather than face them as I dont feel strong enough and I know I will end up having a panic attack!

So your are not alone in how you feel. Do you think you'll be able to move out of there? or is there any way you could try talking to your housemates? This might sound silly but you could try using earplugs at night? that way if everyone is being noisy you wont hear it?. Hope you feel stronger soon, Im sure you will x

[fizzandfiddles]

Thanks for all the feedback everyone.
Your all realy supportive and I hope people who have the same problem can get advice form this thread.

I managed to sort out the work situation (I quit the job because i was too nurvose to speak to my boss) it wasnt the kind of job that suted me any way.

Unfortunatly at the house Im in a 6 month contract and i only moved in a month ago wich was stressfull enough. my donctor said i shold talk to them but i dont usually feel strong enough and the main perpetrator of it just ignores me compleatly.
its a bit of a loose loose situation, if i get the landlord to talk to them about there behavior that then singles me out as a "rat" and whould probably create more tention. I may have to ride out the storm (hopefully this will make me a stronger person)

Ive learnt things from this (never apply for a job you know isnt you and (this is quite a bit more difficult) never move in with people you dont know)

Was wondering if any one new of any "Keep Calm" Stratagies in stressfull situations like thease?

[Spagetti]

The first thing I would do is make an action plan, such as to move once your lease is up, which Im sure you have already :winks:

As for "keep calm" strategies, the best thing you can do is to remind yourself that your situation isnt forever, and to relax daily. There are some good relaxation/meditation CDs out there that can help. They have certainly helped me in the past.

From what you have said I am glad you have quit your job as your boss didnt sound to be good or approachable. Life is too short to deal with these things, if you can help it.

All the best xx

[Alicat]

[QUOTE=fizzandfiddles;652316]its a bit of a loose loose situation, if i get the landlord to talk to them about there behavior that then singles me out as a "rat" and whould probably create more tention. I may have to ride out the storm (hopefully this will make me a stronger person)

Ive learnt things from this (never apply for a job you know isnt you
QUOTE]

Yeah, I've learned these things too. I spent 8 months in a job I was hopeless at so kept getting told off for getting things wrong. I hated it anyway. Unfortunately that might be what you'll have to do about the person behaving badly. The guy I've complained about (quite reasonably I think) has it in for me now so doesn't care if his behaviour upsets me. It shouldn't be like that, but unforuantely it is.

I hope things work out for you:hugs:

[fizzandfiddles]

Ive now taken some steps to improve my situation
(having already quit my job)
Ive magaged to agree with my land lord to end my lease early (the argumet being its eeasy for one person to leave then for 2 guys who get on (evern if they are idiots))

I have 5 weeks to find somware else wich if i keep my head screwed on should be plenty

Im just realy worried about moving into the same situation again, i looked at an ok place yesturday, the land lord whas realy nice and my mate had lived there once said she got on well with everyone in the house then i realised this is exatly the same thing that happened moving in to my current place. The last few days with this confusuion, frustrating situation and continuing antics of my housemates im loosing so much sleep and feel myself sinking back again, Im now so anxious i dont want to leave my room.

I know its only going to be breef but im tefiyed of making the wrong decision again.

[shebang86]

well here are some words of encouragement. I moved into a flat i hated for a few months and the way i managed to persist with it was by being busy and out of the house as much as i could, which also helped lift my mood and improved my social problems. I then moved in with a complete stranger after only meeting her twice and its the best thing I ever did. She has supported me through the difficult time of the depression/anxiety all coming out, lying in bed and crying for days on end, panic attacks - shes been brilliant. she makes sure i eat and everything. Worrying people are talking about me is what gives me panic attacks so i repeat a reassuring shakespeare quote to myself "what the great shall do the lesser will prattle on" or The Who "people try to put us down, just because we get around". it actually helps calm me and put me into a more reasonable frame of mind. find a relevant one and try it. Hope that helps xx

[fizzandfiddles]

thanks a lot for this, I like an old norse saying "A coward hides, at home he'l stay, but time will kill him any way" basily life is too short to sit there worrying, the best way to reslove things is to take action, or evern just get out there and have some fun. It has a lot of possotive interpretations I think. I have found somone to move in with now so just got to look for a place. this week has just been realy hard as ive regressed quite a bit but some pregress has been made.

[shebang86]

i think the key is that you're in a more positive frame of mind by the sound of it, and you have people to talk to here just to give their take on the situation. We found our flat within days, it was the first we looked at. i absolutely love it here, its one of the things that makes me happiest. Another thing I did was adopt the motto "never say no to opportunities". I've made a new circle of friends now who get me out and about regularly, taking my mind off things and it's also got me a fair few dates (cant be bad!). I have "carpe diem" tattooed on my wrist meaning seize the day and "non est vivere sed valere vita est" across my stomach meaning "there's more to life than just being alive" - i love all that philosophical latin stuff and it reminds me every day because its on me! x