Trouble eating (emetophobia?) - Any advice?

[Vixxy]

Hi all. Since Christmas Ive had trouble eating.
It started when I had a really bad relapse on Xmas eve where I was too anxious to eat, but I forced myself to eat anyway.
Since then my general anxiety level is dropping, thanks to an increase in my Ad's and propranalol, however my problems with food got a lot worse.
Now I associate food with anxiety. Every time I eat I get anxious. Doesnt matter if Im starving hungry or if I really like the food Im eating. It always ends with an anxiety attack which forces me to push the rest of the food away.
Since xmas Ive lost 13lbs, which leaves me at a really low 103lbs (7st 5lbs).
I think I can also fits in with my fear of being sick. Since doing some reading I notice a lot of my food issues fit in with emetophobia. For instance I dont eat eggs or wont eat anything from a kitchen thats had eggs in it, just in case it makes me sick. I check sell by dates over and over again. If I open a packet of food and dont remember, then ill throw it away instead of trusting that I was the one that opened it. I get intense anxiety if someone I know says they feel sick as Im convinced that means Im going to be sick aswell.
(Ive not actually been sick in about 10 years, so god knows where I got this phobia from).

I just went to see a CBT therapist this week who basically told me I dont have emetophobia but an eating disorder(anorexia). Its left me feeling pretty low as the last thing I want is to be this thin! I hate it!!!

Im basically asking for peoples advice on how I beat this.

Thanks for reading.:unsure:

[Dahlia]

Hey Vixxy

I had kind of a similar problem many years ago, which led to my GP referring me to a psychiatrist because she thought I was anorexic. Basically the main symptoms of my panic attacks are nausea/heaving. I'm petrified of being sick when I panic, so I don't eat before anxiety-provoking situations so I won't have anything to bring up. Anyway, I ended up getting skinny and the GP referred me. The psychiatrist immediately saw that the 'not eating' was a 'safety behaviour' taken to prevent the main fear, which was vomiting i.e. I was 'safe' if I didn't eat, cos I couldn't be sick. The psych said I wasn't anorexic.

I think, if you intend to still see your CBT therapist, you should reinforce how strongly you feel you are emetophobic, and are avoiding food as a safety behaviour (e.g. if you don't eat, you can't be sick - and the KEY focus is preventing vomiting).

Something similar came up with my CBT therapist. She thought I had social anxiety disorder - she thought I was scared that I might embarrass myself by being sick in front of people (a key factor in social anxiety). I explained to her that I couldn't care less if I was sick in front of people, the KEY thing for me was avoiding being sick AT ALL. She then changed her mind, and changed the focus of the sessions.

Dahlia

[anthrokid]

Hey Vixxy,

I agree with Dahlia, make sure you let your therapist know exactly why you fear the eating. Don't be afraid to question her thoughts, she's there to help you, and if you feel her opionion isn't the same as yours then you should talk about it :)

Do you have a problem with drinking things or is it just eating? Because if it's just eating you can drink protein shakes and smoothies to try and maintain some key nutrients your body needs and to keep a bit of weight on.

[Angelai]

Hi Vixxy

I agree with the others, classic emetophobic behaviour. I wish I could tell you how to deal with it but, after 30 years I still don't have the answer :shrug:

Talk to your therapist about it again, the last thing you need is for them not to believe you.

Good luck x

[Vixxy]

Thankyou all.
Im seeing her again on Wednesday. To be honest part of me wonders why Im putting myself through all the stress of going out and seeing someone, if theyre not going to listen anyway!! I think I might just write down exactly how she made me feel and give it to her. I know if I try and say it ill be too nervous to make much sense anyway lol
I'm also going to see another therapist that I pay for. I had to stop seeing her as I just couldnt afford it anymore, but Ive saved up a bit of money now.
My GP prescribed me some nutritional drinks to try and get calories/vitamins etc into me. I started them today, I only managed a few sips before I was having images of them making me sick. *sigh*