help!!

[Nicola d]

Hi, i have joined this site as i need some advice on how to help someone with agoraphobia & an anxiety disorder. My younger brother wont leave the house, won't go in the back garden, he won't talk to no one outside our household - not even on the phone, he won't even go to the shop to get electric if it has run out & no one is in. I really need some help & advice on how i can help him & i thought the best people to ask is other people who are or have suffered from it themselves. He's only 18 and has he's whole life ahead of him but i worry so much that he will end it all as he has talked about suicide.
I just don't know what to do
please help!! Thank you
Nichola x :weep:

[andrew]

Hi Nichola,

Try and get him to look at this website and forum, maybe he will see himself in other peoples posts and start to open up a bit. Hope this helps, take care .. andrew

[Maj]

He's so young, but the outlook can be so good if he gets the right help. I know it will be very difficult, but try and persuade him to see his doctor. He can receive help to get him on the right track to feeling better again.
Myra x:hugs:

[onceagain]

Hi

I would say to you not to make a huge deal over it, he will already be feeling different I'm almost sure.

Do you know what brought the symptoms on? I'd say to not wait to persuade him but to speak to the family doctor and get as much advise and support for him ..sometimes it is hard for those suffering to recognise or admit... and time will only make matters worse for him.

Don't tell him that he should be okay, or that he is only 18 and don't tell him that he should do these things.. in fact take the conversation away from it .. until he wants to talk...

Was he like this before? has something traumatic happened.. traumatic in his life or his feelings..it doesnt have to be traumatic to you... Most of all just be yourself with him.. and dont put pressure on him..that will only make it worse..he needs you and pressure will only make it worse.. x

[Vixxy]

I was 18/19 when I started to get problems with my anxiety. I think at one point I didnt leave the house for 3-4 months because I was just so afraid.
The only way he can start to move forward is when he feels ready to tackle the problem. So until then focus on keeping him as happy as you can be inside the home. if he wants something from the shop offer to get it for him, just do whatever you can to help him through it. Dont nag or belittle his fears (Im sure you dont anyway), tell him you'll be there to help him when he wants to go out, but that you wont mention it until then.
I found a lot of the pressure to go out was coming from my family, which put more pressure on me to go out, which meant more stress and anxiety and a higher rate of failure.

Through CBT Im learning to put my fears into a heirachy. The fear that I see as the least challenging is the one Ill attempt to do first.
So maybe for him, it would be opening the back door and standing in the door way.
Once hes managed that he should look at his next fear on the list, which could be
opening the door, and going out 1 step into the garden.
He really needs to see his GP so that they can offer him help and support.
You sound like a great sister, he's lucky to have you caring about him.
Hope this helps.

[daydreamer]

Hi Nicola.

Firstly I would say just try and be there to support him. Dont try and push him to do anything he doesnt want to do, dont try and get him to go out and about if he doesnt want to and most importantly of all dont tell him to 'pull himself together'.

If I were you I would speak with him, dont say your worried about him and his behaviour or anything like that, just tell him that you are there for him and if he needs anything then you will be there to support him. Tell him that he can talk to you whenever he likes about anything he likes and you wont judge him, he needs to know that he can trust you and by saying that he'll know he can.

When he feels more comfortable with talking about things, try and mention a trip to the doctors, or say you can call the doctor to the house if you like. Like others have said, tell him about this website and that there are LOTS of people who feel the same as him, he is not the only one and there is NO shame in it.

Has he been diagnosed with anxiety by the GP or is that just an observation you have made? Is he on any medication? Ideally he needs to get to see a CPN or the doctor so they can assess whats wrong with him and then get it treated. There are medications and therpies that can help him overcome this, and with your support Im sure he will.

Do you know what might have caused he to be like this?