healthworrier
24-04-10, 20:55
Hi. This is my first post here. I am almost 40 and I have suffered from health anxiety for much of my adult life. It used to be focussed on HIV risks/fears and I have had CBT help with that in the past - but in the last few years it has broadened out to include a range of fears. Cancer is a big one - especially HPV related cancer. About two months ago I noticed a small white patch on the side of my throat. It is just behind where my tonsils would be if I still had tonsils. It is at the top of what looks like three small pink lumps that join together to form a line. I don't think the swelling is new - I think it's been there many years but now I am so familiar with it that it seems like a bigger deal. I don't think the white patch has always been there (and I have checked my mouth/throat with a torch on and off over the years).
I was overseas soon after I first noticed this white patch and not in a position to see a doctor and I started checking my throat obsessively. I started using a toothbrush to try to remove the white patch which almost made me gag - but I got better at doing it without gagging and each time I brushed it the white patch seemed to look less sinister. But then I'd look the next day and it would look the same again.
I went to the doctor when I returned home. She had difficulty seeing what was concerning me. She could see some scar tissue from my tonsillectomy (which I had an an adult) and saw a small amount of inflammation (I went when I had developed a sore throat from a cold and I'm not sure if she was looking at what was concerning me or not - but I think she could see the white patch I meant). She drew a picture of what she saw. She recommended I use Corsodyl mouth wash. I had used this in the past and started using it again. She said the inflammation was too small to be treated with antibiotics - but I persuaded her to prescribe me some penicillin. I mentioned my fears about oral cancer. She said she could not see anything that looked like cancer. She tried to reassure me by telling me that most people who get oral cancer are smokers and also that the white patch would have changed over the course of the two months since I'd seen it if it was cancer related.
This all reassured me a little to begin with but now I am still worried. I took the penicillin and I use corsodyl - but the small white patch is still there. Should I accept her reassurance/lack of concern or should I see another doctor? Or the dentist? I had a dental check up in January (a month or so before noticing the white patch). I remember the dentist used the yellow light that I think checks for cancer. But she didn't remark on anything being wrong. But I don't know if she would just check the mouth area and not the throat.
I made the mistake when I first saw the white patch of going to google and seeing lots of results about oral cancer. This really freaked me out. My doctor did not mentioned the oral cancer that is HPV related. She only mentioned cancer as a consequence of smoking and heavy drinking. But the HPV element was very frequently mentioned in the google results and I keep reading how that kind of cancer is on the rise. It's quite possible that in my sordid past I was exposed to HPV in my mouth.
I really don't know what to do. I want to be calm and not overreact and accept my doctor's lack of concern. But it's hard. I tried to get a dentist appointment but it's hard to get a convenient one and I am about to start a new job. So I haven't yet made one and I feel slightly embarrassed about my concern. I'm still checking my throat with a torch several times a day.
This year I have already had concerns about diabetes (very thirsty for a few days) and kidney stones/infection and spleen problems from side/back aches. Both things passed and my worries subsided. But this current worry is proving harder to resolve.
Sorry this post is so long - but I'm all about the details.
I was overseas soon after I first noticed this white patch and not in a position to see a doctor and I started checking my throat obsessively. I started using a toothbrush to try to remove the white patch which almost made me gag - but I got better at doing it without gagging and each time I brushed it the white patch seemed to look less sinister. But then I'd look the next day and it would look the same again.
I went to the doctor when I returned home. She had difficulty seeing what was concerning me. She could see some scar tissue from my tonsillectomy (which I had an an adult) and saw a small amount of inflammation (I went when I had developed a sore throat from a cold and I'm not sure if she was looking at what was concerning me or not - but I think she could see the white patch I meant). She drew a picture of what she saw. She recommended I use Corsodyl mouth wash. I had used this in the past and started using it again. She said the inflammation was too small to be treated with antibiotics - but I persuaded her to prescribe me some penicillin. I mentioned my fears about oral cancer. She said she could not see anything that looked like cancer. She tried to reassure me by telling me that most people who get oral cancer are smokers and also that the white patch would have changed over the course of the two months since I'd seen it if it was cancer related.
This all reassured me a little to begin with but now I am still worried. I took the penicillin and I use corsodyl - but the small white patch is still there. Should I accept her reassurance/lack of concern or should I see another doctor? Or the dentist? I had a dental check up in January (a month or so before noticing the white patch). I remember the dentist used the yellow light that I think checks for cancer. But she didn't remark on anything being wrong. But I don't know if she would just check the mouth area and not the throat.
I made the mistake when I first saw the white patch of going to google and seeing lots of results about oral cancer. This really freaked me out. My doctor did not mentioned the oral cancer that is HPV related. She only mentioned cancer as a consequence of smoking and heavy drinking. But the HPV element was very frequently mentioned in the google results and I keep reading how that kind of cancer is on the rise. It's quite possible that in my sordid past I was exposed to HPV in my mouth.
I really don't know what to do. I want to be calm and not overreact and accept my doctor's lack of concern. But it's hard. I tried to get a dentist appointment but it's hard to get a convenient one and I am about to start a new job. So I haven't yet made one and I feel slightly embarrassed about my concern. I'm still checking my throat with a torch several times a day.
This year I have already had concerns about diabetes (very thirsty for a few days) and kidney stones/infection and spleen problems from side/back aches. Both things passed and my worries subsided. But this current worry is proving harder to resolve.
Sorry this post is so long - but I'm all about the details.