medication

[jothenurse]

After reading a few posts about medications, I am getting worried that I am on Klonopin and the addiction that you can get. Have other people used the benzodiazepines? I guess I am feeling kind of bad that I had to use them because I couldn't handle the SSRI's.

[Bel8]

I had a bad experience with benzodiazepines, I got addicted. I used it for insomnia from time to time when it was really bad. One of the side effects that I got was short term memory loss. It appears that from the time I took the meds and went to sleep, or rather when I thought I was going to sleep, I would get up and take more.

I live alone and had made a few 'drunk calls' that I do not remember to friends, but laughed it off as forgetfulness until last year in October I actually had a serious scare. I drive a scooter. I woke up one morning, locked in my flat, with blood in my bed, feeling a bit out of it with a bad knee injury that required 4 stitches and felt like I had been hit by a truck. The contents of my purse was all over my garden and my scooter on centrestand, meaning someone else had parked it.

Turns out I drove my scooter after taking 3 times the maximum dosage and had an accident with my scooter. Not sure how or what happened, I don't remember it at all. I live in a small town and someone who I knew had seen me get into the back of a black car, once again I don't know who it was and as I was locked inside my own flat I can only assume that it was a good samartan (who probably thinks I am a hopeless drunk).

Anyway, I went off the meds straight away and had severe withdrawal, but I survived that only do discover I craved the meds badly, still do, but I am now seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist. My psychiatrist tells me that it is like being an alcoholic, that I cannot undo the damage to the wiring in my brain now and that I need to excercise caution with alcohol as the same part of the brain is that is addicted to dormicum is also affected by alcohol.

I am now on citalopram for anxiety and depression, and clothipine to sleep. I am making progress with counselling, but this will take a while to get better.

My advice, exercise caution with benzodiazepines and be honest with yourself and doctor about how they are affecting you and if you are not already in counselling, start as soon as possible.

I have a personal goal of coping well without medication within two years. My psychologist would not be happy about putting time limits on things, but it is a goal, not a must.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Bel8