needhelp
27-04-10, 00:27
Ok so i have been struggling for a little over a year about something i am not really even sure i have it or not. I currently dont have health insurance so there is no way for me to see anyone that i need to see to get this straightened out. About a year ago i got in a relationship with a guy and soon after started having obsessive thoughts about whether or not i liked him and the i wanted to be fair to him and not have him like me if i dont like him. Its like i can never be sure of myself. Then the thoughts eventually made my last relationship end and now i am with a new guy and the same stuff has started over there is constant doubts on whether or not i like him or not and then on top of that it is like i question whether the feelings are real or not and i am scared to ask someone thinking that they will say that i should leave him because the feelings are real. usually when i am having the thought i have a sick feeling in my stomach. I am going to go crazy they wont stop and go away they are there from the time i wake up in the morning till the time that i go to bed. Its like i dont wanna be kissed or nothing it just makes it worse.. and then i will pick out all the bad stuff that is wrong with them and then i will make myself think about that and not like them.. and even though my boyfriend is really attractive my mind makes him out to be ugly i dont know what this is and i need help when i try to explain it it is like my mind goes in major panic mode and i dont know the right words to describe it because im scared that i will get a detail wrong and then the answers that people give me wont be accurate... i dont know how much more i can take pleaase help me and give me your honest oppinion