scared and down!

[neonpink_smurf]

Hey everybody,
the last time i was here i was in good spirits and i have been for past while but since sunday i've been really down and getting scared by my strange thoughts.. Crying at the moment as i write this, i keep getting teary!!
On saturday i was drinking and had a bit of an argument with my dad who was visiting and then with my boyfriend but by sunday that was all fine and sorted! still on sunday i felt terrible and worthless and lethargic and just generally down.. just tried not to think about it and thought everything would be fine on monday, it was a bit better and i went to uni and everythig was fine until my dad left and i was giving him a kiss goodbye and that absolutely terrfying thought and fear came into my head.. what if i ended up kissing him??? It dwelled in my head all night and i started thinking i was having some sigmund freud thoughts or something!! I was crying for hours! and then i was thinking of how as i'm getting older and now living with my boyfriend, i'm kind of drifting from my dad and family (a natural separation and a healthy thing too, i know) but i can't stop thinking how weird it is that i don't go to my dad but i go to my boyfriend and then got all scared that i was like replacing my dad with my boyfriend and that just prolonged my scaredness..
I don't know whats wrong :( oh yeah and to top it all off for a split second a thought ran through my mind like i understand why people commit suicide if these thoughts continually go through peoples mind and never stop so that got me worried too even though i never would..
Does anyone have any advice.. am i doomed to be a freak like this forever? I just can't see these thoughts stopping.. Please help i'm so upset
thanks

[ANXIETY26]

Hello Neon pink smirf,

First of all your not a freak. I get these weird thoughts all the time and find myself struggling to control them. When I spoke to my doctor he said it was the anxiety and the change in brain chemistry after coming off medication. Stick with it and you'll be looking back at this and laughing.

Take Care

Paul

[doddy]

hi there neon.

nope your not doomed to odd thoughts........well you are in a way but then is the wholeeeeeeeeee population........i bet my life on the fact there would of been people having the exact same thought as you whilst kissing a close relative goodbye today...id bet on it.......thousands oaround the world would of had that thought like you.......and most would of just thought about it for a second then gone and done the shopping...but with anxiety it sticks a little and we analyise it to find some meaning to it...there3 is no meaning just a random thought that all people get..its the way we behave to it that counts.

when i visit my gran i once sat there and thought......what if i start having thoughts about her naked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how weird is that!!!! lol....and of course what happens you do then get the thoughts....but dont worry about it........loads of people, non anxiety as well get odd thoughts.........just dont get involved trying to find a deep meaning for them....just thoughts.........

and the suicide thing.........completely natural to be scared of this when worrying, its a bit like anxiety tries to grip anything it can when your feeling a bit wobbly,.......but again its just an odd anxiety thought...dont look into it.............how many times do we hear someone say...god if this goes wrong ill kill myself.......just a stupid saying people say and they dont worry about it...but when your anxiuos if you or I said it we would look at it to closely.

all id say is never ever try to stop thoughts...you cant we all have them.....only time youll ever stop thinking is if you were in a coma or something...the truth is dont worry about your thoughts.........your thoughts are noraml and just fine but youve just started to look at them to closely thats all.

have you read a claire weekes book?? she expalins this far better than i ever could and has been a great help.


take care and DONT WORRY!!!!

andy

[neonpink_smurf]

Thanks for your replies.. I've spoken to loads of people about this (even though i was ashamed for thinking it and still am a bit) and everyone not just me with my anxiety has the weird thoughts, i just seem to dwell and dwell on them and take them to heart. I really want to be able to stop doing that!

[Meg]

Yes Its true - everyone has wierd thoughts .

They are just thoughts nothing less and nothing more.

Our minds are inquisitive and it is normal to wonder how this or that might feel or whether this or that was permissable. We see a list of rules and automatically think how we can break each and every one of them

This is normal thought pattern - doesn't mean we act on them. We have 50,000 thoughts a day - no wonder some are a bit west of our norm.

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[munchkin555]

hi,
dont beat yourself up, i have weird thoughts too!
the worst i get is that people are trying to poison me, even tho i know deep down these people love me.
i think its just part of anxiety.
dont worry its not really you thinking these things its just anxiety putting the thoughts there for you!
what helps me when i think things like that is thinking that my head is poorly at the minute so i will listen to my heart, because thats much wiser than my head at the minute!
good luck hun
take care
xxx