New member - Kev, 28

[kev]

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to say I'm so glad I've found this site today.

I'm at my lowest ebb with a health anxiety which I've had for around 8 years now.

I had learnt to handle the panic, however now I'm having physical symptoms and I can't talk my way out of them, because the way I see it they are still there, even though I feel calm.

At the beginning of the year I was seen by a consultant psychiatrist and she told me to go on a course of CBT and if that doesn't work to go back and see her and she will prescribe anti-depressants. I originally went to see her because I was constantly checking my lymph nodes and also because a dentist noticed a lump on my tonsils and to get it checked out. She (psychiatrist) said to rationalise it by going to see an ENT surgeon who promptly took them out as a precaution. Ended up having emergency surgery because of complications and quite a few diazepam as I was crawling the walls in the hospital for a week. Tonsils thankfully were all clear.

Ever since (two months ago) I've been suffering from fatigue, light headedness, and my legs and arms feel heavy, cold and numb feet, hands are numb and slightly shaking and feel like I’m not in control of them and having to make a real effort to control my fingers as I type. My vision also feels weird, like things are bearing down on me when I look at them.

Apologies for the long post but I'm petrified that this is the start of MS or another serious illness.

I'm trying to be strong for my two little boys but this is destroying me.

I also worry that because the doctors know I'm anxious about health they would dismiss the symptoms as anxiety and stress - what if I do get MS? Unfortunately I made the mistake of googling it today in the hope that none of the symptoms would add up and most of the symptoms I have can apply to MS.

But I'm also scared that even if they gave me all the tests under the sun for MS, then I would focus on something else after that.

Session 3 of CBT tomorrow so fingers crossed.

Thanks for reading and sorry again for the essay, I just needed to get it all written down.

Kev.

[nomorepanic]

Hi kev

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Bexmumto3]

Hi Kev, welcome to NMP

I can relate with all the symptoms you are experiencing, I too suffer with dizziness,weak trembly but heavy legs,shaking & trembling inside,blurred vision with little black specs & quite often things will seem as if they come rushing into my eyes & then back out again like when you are focusing, cold feet, fatigue, clumsiness with my hands, heavy feeling on my chest.
My first thoughts were MS as well, I asked my GP & she said she thought it was highly unlikely & that my nerves were to blame for these symptoms, I have had my meds increased in the last week & I think I am beginning to feel some improvements, I have never been offered CBT so don't really know anything about it but I wold persevere with it & if you feel the need to then ask for some extra help wether that be medication or not it is up to you.
Many people will say the same on here, there is a great post on here to highlight it, we all suffer with various different symptoms every day & with anxiety we can 'think' ourselves to have new sypmtoms & new diseases or illnesses, sadly it seems to be the downside of anxiety & no matter how much we try to rationalise things we can't, I totally understand what you are saying though about the GP's putting everything down to anxiety as once you have seen them once for it they seem to use it as an excuse everytime you visit after & it's not fair.

[kev]

Thank you for sharing the story of your symptoms, I really appreciate it

I think i'm going to go back to the doctors tonight and see what they say, i can't bear the numbness and pins and needles

I hope you continue to improve, I'll let you know how the CBT goes

All the best

[mumble]

Hi Kev,

Welcome here. I'm sorry to hear all these symptoms and problems.
Hope the CBT session goes well - I am starting this coming week via phone.

Best wishes.

[Dazza]

Hi Kev,

Welcome to NMP. Glad you decided to join.

I've had all the symptoms too... (we also have something in common, I recently had my tonsils removed, at the age of 37!).

Anyhow, I was convinced that I had MS too. I recently had a brain MRI and cervical spine MRI and the results were normal. I then went to see a neurologist, and she said that my symptoms weren't neurological. Heart problems have also been ruled out.

I've also struggl with the fact that I get symptoms when I am calm: numbness, aches, burning sensations, pains in chest and other parts of body, dizziness etc, etc.

You are not alone here mate, we may not have all the answers, but at least we can support eachother, as many of our friends just don't know how do help us (not their fault, as they don't suffer from it).

[Veronica H]

:welcome:Kev. Glad that you have found us.

Veronicax

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and welcome to NMP :welcome: Paige x

[kev]

Thank you for the replies everyone! I've been away on holiday trying to escape from it all with limited success as I kept getting the dreaded pins and needles which in turn causes the panic.

Dazza, interesting to hear you recently had your tonsils out, and thanks for sharing your experiences - it's reassuring to know that your scans came back normal. I went to the doctors last Thursday in the end and she gave me a good going over, checking reflexes and coordination, eyes and balance. She reassured me that I definitely don't have MS or any other neurological problem but somehow I just can't believe her even though I want to so much. She said that she could refer me for all the tests and specialists under the sun but that in her opinion it would make me worse.

My physical symptoms started after my tonsils were taken out, did yours before?

Sorry to bombard you with questions but do you get pins and needles in your hands and feet?

A couple of days ago my bottom lip started feeling numb and weird and now this is freaking me out, one thing after another! My new worry is that all this worrying in panicking will actually cause a horrible condition. Talk about a vicious circle!

As for the CBT this is helping to rationalise my thoughts, I would definitely recommend it.

Thanks for listening

Kev

[Catalyst]

Hi Kev

I'm another one who has the same (or similar) symptoms and worries about MS. (I'm 33.) Even now, typing this, I'm aware of how my vision is not quite right & my little finger feels numb & tingly.

I haven't said anything to my doc about anxiety for the very reason that I'm scared of being typecast. I'm worried about a 'boy who cried wolf' scenario in the future.

Interesting that you mention your lip. I sometimes get 'pins & needles' sensations in my lips and tongue. I actually had that last night for the first time in a while. I'm wondering if it is diet related as I'd eaten a lot of cakes etc at a buffet and had no main meal yesterday. Just a thought!

My Grandad died last week & I know my anxiety levels are probably up because of that, but this current bout of symptoms precedes his illness so there was no obvious trigger (and I've not had my tonsils out!) Actually, thinking about it, I did have a nasty cold with a lingering sore throat a couple of months ago - so maybe that was the trigger.

I'm waffling on now, sorry. Would be interested to know What you make of the CBT sessions? Are they helpful?

Carly

[kev]

Hi Carly

No you aren't waffling! I'm very interested to hear what you have to say

I am also scared about the "boy who cried wolf" thing!

Sorry to hear about your Granddad.

Interesting you should mention the diet thing, I have been eating normally but am tending to start the day with an absurdly large coffee these days so maybe that has something to do with it!

It's weird that we get those strange sensations isn't it. And as soon as I dismiss it I'll get another twinge or tingle and then that starts off the whole process again!

CBT is very helpful, the talking helps as well as rationalising my thoughts and confronting what I am so scared of. I can send you some more in depth info I you like? Let me know

All the best

Kev

[Catalyst]

Hmm, I do drink a lot of tea and coffee. Perhaps I should look at that!

I've looked up CBT online and have a rough idea of it being a discussion therapy. Do you have to pay for it privately or is it possible to have it on the NHS?! If you have to pay for it, do you consider it worth the money?!

I'm not good at talking to people about my 'issues'. I'm more of a 'bottle it up and put on a brave face' type of person! (Erm, I know that isn't very healthy though!) :blush: