fear stops me sleeping

[littlewaternymph]

Hi,

I'm 20 and I suffer from the fear that i'll lose my mum. She's not ill, neither has she ever been seriously ill, yet I still worry about it. I think it may stem from the fact that we're very close and the idea of life without her is terrifying and i dont think id be able to cope.

When i'm at home (im a student living away during term) I can't sleep because i'm worrying about her so much so that I have to go check throughout the night, I can stop myself, but i still feel the panic so i dont feel it gets me anywhere. It is worse when im at home maybe because i feel that i'm there so if anything happened and i didnt do anything when i could have then id hate myself.

However even when at uni i worry about her and so have to speak to her on the phone a couple of times a day and when i cant get hold of her i panic until i can.

If anyone has any tips on how to get myself out of this cycle i would be really grateful.

Thanks:)

[bellalew]

it sounds like a case of what ifs/being your mum and no doubt your best friend we love them beyond words,and its natural to worry about them as they do us,try to ease up on the bad thoughts,easy to say,but your mum wouldnt want you to loose sleep worrying,as you are,she must be fine or youd be the first to know if she wasnt,why not have a chat with her about how you feel ,or maybe a chat with your doctor about your thoughts,but try not keep worrying hun.:hugs:hope you begin to sleep better soon.xxxx

[PokerFace]

I had a fear my mum was going to die too, I had it for years! It got so bad she started to think I'd had some kind of premonition haha! If she left the house I'd go mad thinking she wasn't going to come home and I'd try to stop her going out. I always had to be in the same room as her and I got scared of going to sleep incase she died while I was asleep and I'd never beable to see her again. Eventually it got less and less and without realising it, she went out for 2 hours and the thought she was going to die and never come back for me didn't even enter my head!

It's been years since I felt like that now, recently when my bad anx started I got a few thoughts like that again cuz for the 1st few weeks only she could calm me down. I know it doesn't feel like it atm but the fear passes trust me, its one of the worst feelings I've ever had but it will pass! xxx

[littlewaternymph]

Thanks so much for your replies, its comforting to know i'm not the only one who has ever felt this to such a degree
x