A fear of.....everything!

[ewan.valentine]

Hey there,

I don't post very often, but sometimes I just need reassurance. I'm 20 and I'm at university and I suffer from all sorts of Anxiety problems. I think you'd call it general anxiety disorder.

But it's getting unbearable. I have a massive problem with anything that moves it seems. I can't get in lifts, planes, I have big problems with trains, I had a huge panic attack last time I was on a train, that seems out of the question now, I get nervous in cars and I get quite nervous, close to panic on coaches too. I think planes are going to land on my house, so I'm running to and from the window every 10 minutes (I live kind of in East Midlands airports flight path, so there's a lot of air traffic). So that keeps me up most the night. I also think I have heart problems all the time, despite numerous checks, and ECGs doctors have told me I have nothing wrong with my heart at all.

When I lie in bed, it can take anything up to 4 hours for me to sleep, it almost seems impossible, I cut out caffiene about 3/4 hours before I try to sleep, I've tried herbal teas to make me tired, but I find that my body is tired and trying to sleep, but my mind is still active, and worrying about planes landing on the house or whether or not my heart is beating right.

I also have a thing about heights, if I'm walking near a height, such as a road bridge etc, I feel as thought something is pulling me towards the edge and that I'm going to fall off, and if I'm in multi-story buildings, I feel as though it might collapse and crush me to death.

Above all of that, I have this constant sense of impending doom, as thought the world could end soon, as thought it's inevitable that I will soon be dead. I've had CBT in the past, it helped a little at the time, but now it's worse than ever. I drink quite a lot too, because I guess it's the only time I feel relaxed! But I know that's making it worse. I will refuse medication because I don't think it solves mental health problems, just numbs the symptoms about.

Am I completely mad? Please help me! :(

P.s. it's 4am, I have a lecture at 8am, I probably wont be asleep till about 6am, so there's another lecture I've missed.

[crazyhayz]

No ur completely normal. I have GAD and i always have that constant dark cloud feeling of impending doom, or worry im guna suddenly drop dead or something, im always thinking about 'what ifs'. Im having CBT and am on 20mg citalopram which both together have been a lifesaver! Im getting better but no building my hopes up thats for sure. I have had numerous tests and ive accepted i dont have an illness of any kind. I know all my symptoms are anxiety and stress. When im busy and not thinking about anything then i dont get the symptoms lol. So i try to be very busy from the moment i wake up each day.

I kinda accept its just guna get WORSE the more i think about it and worry about it, and i realllllllllllllly dont want it to get worse :( I wanna get better and il do anything to do that. U have GAD so u need to be treated for that with another round of CBT and medication. Its there for a reason and cant harm you so why not if its guna help you, even temporarily? Its only medication, same as pain relief in labour , i dont get why people wanna do it without pain relief, its there for a reason, to keep u calm and take pain away so ur not stressed! Get referred back to CBT, if u feel u will bug ur GP then just print off your post on here and give it to him to read. I always forget wot to say in appointments lol. remember ur under alot of stress at the mo, so u cant let this affect ur course, thats why i think medication would rly help you out. But no ur deffo noit going mad so dont worry about it. Just look at the chances of the things u said happening, i mean, if u keep thinkin of these awful things that really arent going to happen u will drive yourself round the bend, everytime u think of something negative, turn it into something positive.

I.e) ''Plane might crash into house!!'' >>>>> ''What is the liklihood of this happening and am i thinking irrationally again? This is just my anxiety-head on!!'' (this is what i say to myself, anxiety-head works well lol!) Also, even if it WAS going to happen, what could you possibly do to stop it? Nothing. So try not to worry yourself, ive learnt about dying that its guna happen 1 day and theres nothing i can do, so why ruin the only chance ive got at lifew worrying about it ?! CBT has helped me alot. But again, this sort oif thing needs to be ongoing for a long time, and even when u feel better, its still good to have monthly follow ups! and try the medication, it will help take away these horrible thoughts u have that are affecting ur life so much. I truly believe getting over anxiety is all about ACCEPTANCE, which is the hardest bit of all. But believe in yourself that u can and will get better, and ul do anything to get there. I was exactly like you, i even had a complete nervous breakdown! Rest assured ur not going mad, mad people dont realise they r going mad lol.

Take care :)

[ewan.valentine]

Thanks for that buddy! I will look at getting some CBT again, and possibly some meds.

Thanks again, all the best!

:)

[bramblebloss]

Hi

I too live near an airport (birmingham - so a pretty busy one!), sometimes at night when a plane goes over it can sound loud and Im convinced this is the one that is actually going to land on my house thus killing my precious children! However, as much as I dont fly I do console myself with the fact that if the plane is so close I can hear it, if it does crash then it would take ages to actually come down, thereby missing me entirely!!

It does help me to think like this, as I also drive near the airport and sometimes Im so busy watching the place fly over that Im not watching the road!!

BB x

[Anxious_gal]

I'm afraid of all those things too. you just have to challenge your thinking and eventually you will realize your perfectly safe. that's why CBT should be helpful :-)