ewan.valentine
30-04-10, 04:05
Hey there,
I don't post very often, but sometimes I just need reassurance. I'm 20 and I'm at university and I suffer from all sorts of Anxiety problems. I think you'd call it general anxiety disorder.
But it's getting unbearable. I have a massive problem with anything that moves it seems. I can't get in lifts, planes, I have big problems with trains, I had a huge panic attack last time I was on a train, that seems out of the question now, I get nervous in cars and I get quite nervous, close to panic on coaches too. I think planes are going to land on my house, so I'm running to and from the window every 10 minutes (I live kind of in East Midlands airports flight path, so there's a lot of air traffic). So that keeps me up most the night. I also think I have heart problems all the time, despite numerous checks, and ECGs doctors have told me I have nothing wrong with my heart at all.
When I lie in bed, it can take anything up to 4 hours for me to sleep, it almost seems impossible, I cut out caffiene about 3/4 hours before I try to sleep, I've tried herbal teas to make me tired, but I find that my body is tired and trying to sleep, but my mind is still active, and worrying about planes landing on the house or whether or not my heart is beating right.
I also have a thing about heights, if I'm walking near a height, such as a road bridge etc, I feel as thought something is pulling me towards the edge and that I'm going to fall off, and if I'm in multi-story buildings, I feel as though it might collapse and crush me to death.
Above all of that, I have this constant sense of impending doom, as thought the world could end soon, as thought it's inevitable that I will soon be dead. I've had CBT in the past, it helped a little at the time, but now it's worse than ever. I drink quite a lot too, because I guess it's the only time I feel relaxed! But I know that's making it worse. I will refuse medication because I don't think it solves mental health problems, just numbs the symptoms about.
Am I completely mad? Please help me! :(
P.s. it's 4am, I have a lecture at 8am, I probably wont be asleep till about 6am, so there's another lecture I've missed.
I don't post very often, but sometimes I just need reassurance. I'm 20 and I'm at university and I suffer from all sorts of Anxiety problems. I think you'd call it general anxiety disorder.
But it's getting unbearable. I have a massive problem with anything that moves it seems. I can't get in lifts, planes, I have big problems with trains, I had a huge panic attack last time I was on a train, that seems out of the question now, I get nervous in cars and I get quite nervous, close to panic on coaches too. I think planes are going to land on my house, so I'm running to and from the window every 10 minutes (I live kind of in East Midlands airports flight path, so there's a lot of air traffic). So that keeps me up most the night. I also think I have heart problems all the time, despite numerous checks, and ECGs doctors have told me I have nothing wrong with my heart at all.
When I lie in bed, it can take anything up to 4 hours for me to sleep, it almost seems impossible, I cut out caffiene about 3/4 hours before I try to sleep, I've tried herbal teas to make me tired, but I find that my body is tired and trying to sleep, but my mind is still active, and worrying about planes landing on the house or whether or not my heart is beating right.
I also have a thing about heights, if I'm walking near a height, such as a road bridge etc, I feel as thought something is pulling me towards the edge and that I'm going to fall off, and if I'm in multi-story buildings, I feel as though it might collapse and crush me to death.
Above all of that, I have this constant sense of impending doom, as thought the world could end soon, as thought it's inevitable that I will soon be dead. I've had CBT in the past, it helped a little at the time, but now it's worse than ever. I drink quite a lot too, because I guess it's the only time I feel relaxed! But I know that's making it worse. I will refuse medication because I don't think it solves mental health problems, just numbs the symptoms about.
Am I completely mad? Please help me! :(
P.s. it's 4am, I have a lecture at 8am, I probably wont be asleep till about 6am, so there's another lecture I've missed.