Really need some support. Please help me

[karlyo]

Hi everyone,

I dont post much but everyone here seems lovely and I just need some advice.

I'm a 24 year old girl and I have health anxiety. In all I'm pretty health, never had any major problems. The only thing I do have is a very upsetting condition called AGA - for those who don't know it's the female version of male pattern baldness. My hair gets thinner all the time and I know I will need a wig eventually. Its unusual to get it this young but it can happen and I've been unlucky. I recently grew a lot of it back using minoxidil but it seems to be falling out again now, even though I'm still treating it. I really feel miserable about how I look and it just makes me anxious and sad.

On top of that comes the health anxiety. I always think something is seriously wrong. So far this year I had a rash on my nipple which I thought was pagets disease, then this odd feeling in my breast which turned out to be an anxiety symptom, then this week the glands in my groin have been hugely swollen and I thought it was cancer - they still aren't right but I think it's because I pulled a muscle doing a class.

Once one symptom goes I think - well, nothing can be as bad as that, and then another one comes and it's worse. I feel like I'm in a constant viscious circle of thinking I'm really poorly. And the hair problem is very real and just makes me feel low.

I just dont know what to do anymore. I worry about everything and I just want to snap out of this. Does anyone have any advice? I just feel really lost. :weep:

[ectopicsufferer]

Hi karly not sure what advice to give you hun, we all suffer in our own way and my way of dealing with stuff is to read on here and then use a bit of mind over matter which is hard in itself but sometimes the support i get from this site helps me to do that.
Am so sorry to hear about AGA but if the stuff you were using was helping to grow it back then just keep trying, its better to try than to give in xxxx

[RosieXXX]

Hello karlyo,

I am so sorry you are suffering from AGL, and I can understand how this must dent your self esteem, and make you feel so miserable; it is especially disheartening when promising products fail to deliver. Coming to terms with an upsetting condition which has a profound psychological impact is extremely difficult, and I wonder if you have had any counselling, or if there are any support groups which you might find helpful. You have mentioned that eventually you will have to wear a wig, and I am sure the thought of this at the moment is upsetting, but I do know there are some that look amazing, and once you have taken that first step you might be surprised what a difference it will make to the way you feel.

You will find a lot of support here from other health anxiety sufferers who will be able to relate to the way you feel. It is really difficult to break the cycle of worry. I don't know if you have had any cognitive behaviour therapy, but it can help to break the negative thought process, and a lot of people find it helpful.

I hope you will be feeling happier with life soon xx

[lior]

Oh darling :( that sucks. Well look, you aren't the only one to be suffering from these things. You'd be surprised at how many women wear wigs. It can be a cultural thing. You can get real hair weaved into your existing hair to make it thicker. I'm not sure how it costs, but I think it only lasts a few weeks or months.

It sounds to me as though you've been googling your symptoms haven't you? Paget's disease?? If you're worried, take it to a doctor, don't google it! A rash on your nipple could just be from fabric irritation, or something similarly simple. Don't go thinking you have cancer before you go to the doc's.

One thing you must remember is that attitude is very important. Don't identify yourself by the problems with your body. You are much more than that. Your eloquence indicates you're an intelligent woman. I am sure there are plenty of lovely aspects to your personality that people love you for. People will find you attractive whatever you look like.

Most of your ailments seem to be to do with your sexuality. Do you think this is significant? Perhaps you are looking with things that could be wrong with you in more sexual areas of your body - perhaps you feel less sexy because of your hair loss and you look for other things that could make you less sexy. That's just an idea, does it ring true with you?

Hope that helps.... xx

[karlyo]

Thanks for the lovely replies.

So yes the hair thing isn't nice. I do know wigs can be nice, I have a 3/4 wig in my cupboard should I need it. I freaked out last year when it got bad and got a lovely one just incase. I didn't really wear it much as I grew some back but it's nice knowing its there. Still I dont really want to wear it. I do go to a support forum specifically for the hair thing and have made some nice friends there which is good.

Yes I do google my symptoms. It's awful isn't it? I always tell myself I shouldn't and I always do. And alwys think I'm dying. Ergh I need to stop! I clearly have no willpower...

Lior, I never thought of that before but you may be right I suppose. I do feel a lot less attractive with the hair thing. But my boyfriend is lovely and has never stopped showing interest in me. He's supportive if I need the wig too. We've been together over 6 years, I dont worry about him leaving. And other than this I'm a fun person with lots of friends, nobody except him has a clue about how anxious I am. They'd be quite shocked I think as I hide it well.

Maybe CBT is a good idea. Thing is I'm about to go back to university to do a masters and re-train and I can't afford to pay for it. Can you get it on the NHS? Thing is I've never even mentioned these problems to my doc...unless they've guessed themselves!

[RosieXXX]

Hello Karlyo,

It is good to hear you have good support from other people who suffer from the same condition, and a lovely understanding boyfriend.

I think a lot of anxiety sufferers manage to hide their feelings from friends, and they haven't a clue how we are really feeling, which can sometimes make us feel even more isolated. It seems you have a good circle of friends though, and you get out and have fun, which is a very positive thing.


CBT is available on the NHS, but there can be long waiting lists - no doubt it varies from region to region. It would be a good idea to mention your concerns to your Doctor, because he may have other ideas which could be helpful.

I know you will find loads of support on this forum, which I am sure will help you to cope with your health anxiety. :hugs: