feel even worse today

[jaded jean]

HI ALL
I woke a little later which is an improvement, but the thoughts the fears seem to be returning. I am coming off diazepam, but would that be affecting my thought processses or is it that cit has not kicked in yet .Its day 25 for me I just need a bit of reassurance as I do feel scared. That I am going backwrds.
Jean

[Mr.lonely]

hi jean
actually, i do the same some times when i feel weak or could not reach somethin. i guess fears come if there is/are some wrongs which i did in my life . if you do have try to fix it. the other thing maybe you have a fear of willing to do something and you are not sure if it's ganna work or not , and this kind of fear is normal ..
the only fear is break down a human being is when you have fear and you don't know why it comes and from where..this is i guess will hurt me more than the other.... There are couple steps i do when i have it
first go to pretty place to breath a fresh air.
second ,, try to watch a funny movie
third, accourding to my way i would like to listen to this to make me more relaxing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMKxL3p7UWI&feature=related

[jaded jean]

Hi MrLONELY.
I can honestly say the one true fear I have at present is whether I will be competent enough for work . Having been off sick for 8 months never existed in my mind when younger, I would be at the forefront of everything. good in meetins brainstorming incentives etc and now I just drift I feel. Doing the housework. pottering about in the garden . I do watch funny movies etc in fact in the afternoons I feel great- like the old me , its like a personality takeover in the mornings. damn you anxiety!!

[Jannie2948]

I would say that the citalopram haven't fully kicked in yet. Why have you stopped the diazepam, I only took them to get me through those bad times and now I don't take them at all. My citalopram took at least 6 weeks+ before I felt any real benefit and then after 3 months went up to 40mg and now feel so much better. Mornings were always worse for me, I used to feel anxious about the whole day ahead of me. I never really took any time off work, just the first initial couple of weeks but then I made myself go back and I have a very understanding boss who let me come in late and go home early to avoid the rush on the trains. I agree with Mr Lonely, the best thing is to keep your mind active and doing some exercise. When I was at my worse in the beginning of the citalopram I couldn't eat and I could hardly put one leg in front of the other but my son, who came to stay with me, made sure that I ate something however small and that I done some kind of exercise. I used to walk round and round my flat!

I know it is hard in the beginning on citalopram and you think you are never going to feel better, but try and stick with them. Some people take a long time to feel the benefit of them but I am sure you will. I fell back on diazepam to get me through those bad times, and I didn't become addicted, they really helped me when I felt awful.

All the best to you.

Jannie x x

[jaded jean]

Hi Jannie,
I had been on diaz at the begining of this back in november. 5mg x2 a day. took them fo 2 days. then put on 2mg for as you did as and when which I did. at one stage whe I thought it was ok I weaned off them. and again I needed to have them to cope with the sid effects of cit. which initially didnt really have any in to the 2nd week yes they reared their ugly heads at me. but the doc who I usually see is so laid back he is an absolute gem . he said Jean you are on the lowest dose so you should be ok coming off them to which I agrred as I knew I could. fast forward to this thursday just gone - have to speak to another doc as mine on a/l she says right I am only giving you 14 as they are addictive what is that all about? do they not communicate with eachother? its confusing and a bit soul dstroying when you feel lik e this .
:D

[JT69]

Hi Jean,

Sorry you are having a bad time....it will get better in time it just never feels that way when you are going through it hun. I would say re diazepam they are addictive if you take them for a long period of time, I take them occasionally but tend to do so when I need them and not regularly if that makes sense.

The way you describe your day is so typical to us sufferers, feeling horrible in the mornings and then feeling "normal" in the afternoons...this will get so you are feeling as you do in the afternoons earlier and earlier as the meds get more into your system.

Please rest assured you are not alone in this and there are alot of others in the same boat or having being there before.

I hope you feel better soon, hang on in there hun.

Jo.xx

[jaded jean]

Thanks Jo.
See , you are right at this moment in time I feel can I say great??Its ridiculous but I can understand it now its just got to take its course,I think with having issues about returning ti work does not help, but patience patience is a good thing to practice ,
:hugs::hugs:Thanks for your replies and support it is greatly appreciated.
Jean xx

[JT69]

Jean,

I was like you....my recent illness began last October and I ended up being off sick from work until mid March....I thought I would never go back and be confident at meetings etc but I am now o.k so it is proof it can happen...I really hit the lowest point of my life but you can come back and you will like you say it just takes time. Take care. JO.xx

[NoPoet]

Hi Jean, sounds like a blip to me, where your symptoms temporarily get worse. Nothing weird or unusual about that, it won't last forever, just keep on going and you'll find that you gradually start feeling better :)

[jaded jean]

tHANKYOU ALL.
I made a point of staying up later as I was initially living round my meds up at 6 take diaz 6.30 take cit -9.00pm take diaz then straight to bed. no real life eh? I watched Avatar last night and I didnt even notice the time. went to bed at 10.30 and am writing this at 6.15. I would say an improvement somewhere!
Thanks again all fr the replies
xxxJeanxx

[Jannie2948]

Brilliant, at least you have noticed some improvement and hopefully this will just keep getting better. Nothing better than a good night's sleep and when you wake, get up, because it is awful just laying there and the mind working overtime. I got up early this morning to go out but it is absolutely pouring down!

Hope you have a good day today Jean.

All the best to you

Jannie x x

[jaded jean]

Hi Jannie,
Its chucking it down here too!! Am trying to kep occcupied. this will start to clear around 11/12ish then I am Jean.I just feel annoyed that my hubby doesnt get up at the same time!!
have a good day yourself((hugs)) Jean

[Jannie2948]

Haven't got one of those! Hubbie that is :-) My eldest son came back home to stay with me when I was at the height of my anxiety late last year so he let his house out until August this year, bless him. He is absolutely brilliant, and does all the cooking!! He has gone swimming now with a friend so I can get on and do some bits at home, and I love it :-) Even the rain can't dampen my happiness, which is something I couldn't have said 6 months ago.

Have a good day and keep feeling better :-)

Jannie x x

[JT69]

Hi Jean,

Thats good news, lets hope it continues for you hun.

Jo.xx

[jaded jean]

Thanks Jannie and Jo. My husband is off for the week now as we are having bathroom refurbished and the wiring checked out through the house so that will keep me occupied!!
So today so far so good, will try to go to bed later again tonight too as that seemed to make a difference
Thanks again <<hugs>>