Ever feel like giving up?

[jothenurse]

Does anyone ever feel like giving up? I don't mean as in your life, but just giving up trying to work on the panic disorder any more. I feel like sometimes I need to be in a hospital. I take Ativan .25 mg twice a day and a small amount of beta-blocker. I am unable to handle the SSRI's. I can say that in some respects I am doing a little better - making myself do a few things, like go for a drive, go to a store, etc. every day like my counselor says. But - I continue to lose weight. I just feel gaggy all the time and am afraid of throwing up. They gave me zophran to try, but because I am so afraid of meds, I'm afraid to try it. It looks pretty safe, and if it would stop my gaggy feeling and help me eat something, that would be great. I am down to about 96 pounds and am very frightened. I feel like I will never be able to eat again and that I will just continue to lose weight.
HELP!

[joannap]

are you phobic of meds in general - is that why you could not handle the ssri's? because they tend to make everyone feel worse before they feel better. when i was first hit with anxiety years ago - i went to under 7 stone because i just couldn;t eat although i wasn't sick - i had not appetite and my stomach felt teeny! the thing is - you are keeping yourself in the fear cycle by constantly stressing over meds/fear of being sick and you will keep yourself there until you take steps to work through the fear and change your thought patterns. can you not drink lots of milk/complan/meal replacements or things like custard/rice puding etc - try to eat what you really fancy. it sounds as though your anxiety has very much focused on meds and being sick. if you can take ativan and beta blocker can you give the zophran a go?

your answer lies in that you don;t need to work on panic disorder - you need to accept it - accept everything but try to do as much as you can to help yourself but without over stressing/analysing. if you read your own post back to yourself - can you see how much added anxiety you are adding to the existing anxiety by the constant worry/focus on meds/being sick? It is this added anxiety you need to work on that you are actually adding yourself so that the originial anxiety can heal xx

[jothenurse]

I did try the zofran yesterday - it may have helped a little bit, but not much. I called down to where my psychiatrist is located and the nurse talked to the psychiatrist on call and he felt that the main problem was that I needed to take the Ativan more often. It is a very low dose (.25 mg) - but it is fast acting and leaves your system quickly. So for the next 24 hours he wanted me to take one every 6 hours (except when I was sleeping). So, when I got up this morning and was nervous, I took one at 5:30 AM. He never did say what to do for today, except to call them back if I wasn't feeling better. (Sunday). I do have a med phobia on the SSRI's - they just made me feel so bad that I decided to try the benzodiazepines because when I had panic 30 years ago, I took Serax and they helped me and it didn't take me long to get off of them after being on them for months. With Ativan being so quick acting and not lasting long, I probably need a longer acting one. I was on Klonopin for awhile, but one of the side effects is excessive saliva and I woke up one night with a lot of water in my mouth that bothered me. My psychiatrist said I could try the Serax, but now I will have to stay with the Ativan until I can talk to her. I do focus on these things, and things like my weight loss. (How much is 7 stone?) Being a nurse, I know how critical it is to eat, and I am afraid of throwing up (since I was a kid). I have a problem with potassium, so am on supplements for that, but I know how important it is to eat something and at present I eat very little with the fear of it upsetting my stomach.
Thank you for replying.