please please help me

[gina p]

I'm so scared . I have two kids aged 2 and 7 months and I'm terrified that I'm going to die . I've pretty much had health anxiety on and off for 20 years or so - i'm now 35 . I have a loving partner but he does not know how anxious I get . Since I had my son by cesearean section 7 months ago my health has been bad . He weighed 12lb 6oz!!!!!!!!! . In dec I started to get neck pain and pain in my fingers . My gp done a blood test for rheumatoid arthiritis but it came back negative - he also done a full blood count too which came back normal . I do have thyroid problems (underactive ) since the birth of my daughter 2 years ago . Late dec I developed a cough that would not go away . Went back to docs and told I had post nasal drip - I also now had lumps in throat on one side where my tonsils used to be - Have been advised by many docs that the tonsil tissue has grown back due to post nasal drip . I then start to get sharp pains in my upper abdomen and dull pains occasionally - get checked for gallstones etc - doc said its a haital hernia ( prob as son was so big) ! . Now I've got lumps at my back passage - appears to be external piles . Going to hospital next week but scared in case its cancer !!!!! I.ve also been having back pain and cervical pain ??? . Been going to an osteopath who advised me that my sacriolic joint was out of alignment and that has been causing my pain . I still have some tingling at my left buttock but i.ve been told that this is prob caused by my sacriolic joint being a bit ski- whiffy Oh and to top it all off - my last blood test showed that i'm aneamic ( I had a huge blood loss with my son 7 months ago) - and that My thryroid has also gone overactive !!!
aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
so to sum it up
1 . overactive thyroid
2. anemia
3. external bloody sore piles
4 . lower back pain and tingling
5 . post nasal drip and "new" tonsil tissue
I'm very very scared . I stupidly googled anemia and cancer - guess what - there is a link . I now seen to think that I have anal cancer which has spread to my cervix - and now my spine (causing back pain ) - thus causing anemia . It all adds up and that is what scares me . I've told the doc my worries and he does not seem concerned . Any rational thoughts on this ? Common sense tells me its the sheer weight of my son that has caused alot of this but ?? I also have tailbone pain which I now think is being caused by cancer . I'm not enjoying my kids - my life is ruled by fear . I'm ruining their lives . please anyone?

[MrsJaredLeto]

Hey :)
Firstly, I am exactly the same, if i get a headache, stomach ache or even a pain in my foot I panic so bad.
I think you know that its ok, but that bloody gatecrasher of our brains called anxiety keeps toying with you!
I cant tell you how to stop this, I wish I knew, all I can suggest is you do as I do and start talking to someone you trust when you start feeling like this or come on here, once I start vocalising my fears I hear how dramatic I sound and it makes me laugh!
The fear is still there but it lessens.
I really do know how you feel and its beyond awful but im taking comfort in the sheer volume of people who feel exactly as we do and I realise - surely we cant all be dying right?

[gina p]

thanks for replying . I have moments when I'm like " this is anxiety " then I have moments I think " this is real ". I have no one i can confide in so I really should use this site more often .

[Going home]

Your body has gone through alot of trauma in the last couple of years, particularly since the birth of your little boy 7 months ago. I think you have to give it time to heal. Pregnancy and birth...whether vaginal or caeser...takes alot out of us and alot of time getting back to normal and if you've been carrying around a big baby this was bound to put stress on your cervix, lower back and back passage. Please don't worry about cancer, i'm really sure you haven't got it. I think its more that your body needs more time to recover. Don't forget hormones too...they can make you feel like crap and affect how you think about things.

To me you sound normal for a woman who has given birth to a large baby a short time ago, especially since you have an underactive thyroid ontop of everything else! Congrats on your little boy by the way :flowers:

Anna xxx

[mamajane]

I know exactly what ur going through! I had my daughter 8 months ago and she was 12lbs and she was a c-section. It was a terrible birth and I lost alot of blood. to make matters worse 3 months after the birth my incision opened up. Its been hell. Now im deathly afraid i have cancer and I have found a lump on my thigh and im convinced its sarcoma. My whole family thinks im a nut and i feel soo alone. I am so worried that my daughter will grow up without a mother. Just know u are not alone and no one knows the future and what it may bring but just take it one day at a time. Good luck hun!

[SamanthaAU]

My whole HA revolves around me leaving my kids behind. They are only young ones like yours (4.5, 2.5 and 6months).

I think there are a lot of us in the same boat!

But I do agree that a lot of your problems are probably caused by the pregnancy!

[babydevil666]

this is exactly how i feel atm. i had my son 5 months ago by c section but he was only 8lb 2oz but i am now terrified i have ovarian cancer because this week i have had pain around my incision site in my heart i know its jus from the c section but try telling that to my head! i know eactly how u feel its scary but i asm certain there is nothing wrong with us its jus the anxiety! xx:hugs:

[barbn]

Fear of death and leaving your family behind is such a common symptom of HA (well, anxiety in general). I go through bouts where I am terrified of leaving my daughter (and she is 22 - but I think she could possible live with out me)!! It sounds like you have gone through a lot over the past few years!! I'm not surprised your body is rebelling a bit. Everything you have described sounds pretty normal to me - I have the post nasal drip thing and tons of allergies. And I have had the bumps on the bum...not fun, but I really don't think it would be cancer. That type of cancer is really rare. I truly think most of this is anxiety - I know, this is easier for me to write than for you to believe! Been there done that!! Honestly what has helped me is anxiety medication - and forcing myself to think in new directions (not easy but can be done)...Hang in there and know you are so not alone!!