muppet
03-05-10, 08:18
I have not been on here for a while.i have been trying to deal with 'things' myself and have been doing ok. i am taking st johns wort and a probiotic with vitamins from Boots.
I feel as if i am slipping back to 'darkness' again. I had been on meds for over a year and the dr seemed content to just give them. telling me to up them if needed to. she has twice said she will sort CBT for me and when i went with my husband as i felt so bad, she said she would organise for me to see a pshyc. she never did anything!!! i felt that i was just a nuinsance. i called MIND who gave me 6 councilling sessions. in the mean time my son had been very unwell, so was constantly backwards and forwards to doc. (his white blood count was v low but now looking gd) in Dec my father died suddenly in spain of a brain tumour. ( no funeral plan in spain means a quick cremmation) so i do not feel like i have grieved at all. my sister went skiing and left me to look after my mum for 1 wk, 2 wks after the death( my mum has severe arthritis and i have stairs). my brother was no help.my poor husband and boys have had to listen to me screaming, crying, being totally unstable!! one night i was so bad i harmed myself without realising. i was so ashamed!! i have tried so hard since then to pull myself around. making sure i go out(instead of hiding away, i try to go for walks with my neighbour). trying not to snap at the family. i am having my bathroom refurb. that is not going so well. I feel as if i am going to 'explode' because i just bury/hide everything. in a house of men, there seems to be no point in showing how i feel.
I feel as if i am slipping back to 'darkness' again. I had been on meds for over a year and the dr seemed content to just give them. telling me to up them if needed to. she has twice said she will sort CBT for me and when i went with my husband as i felt so bad, she said she would organise for me to see a pshyc. she never did anything!!! i felt that i was just a nuinsance. i called MIND who gave me 6 councilling sessions. in the mean time my son had been very unwell, so was constantly backwards and forwards to doc. (his white blood count was v low but now looking gd) in Dec my father died suddenly in spain of a brain tumour. ( no funeral plan in spain means a quick cremmation) so i do not feel like i have grieved at all. my sister went skiing and left me to look after my mum for 1 wk, 2 wks after the death( my mum has severe arthritis and i have stairs). my brother was no help.my poor husband and boys have had to listen to me screaming, crying, being totally unstable!! one night i was so bad i harmed myself without realising. i was so ashamed!! i have tried so hard since then to pull myself around. making sure i go out(instead of hiding away, i try to go for walks with my neighbour). trying not to snap at the family. i am having my bathroom refurb. that is not going so well. I feel as if i am going to 'explode' because i just bury/hide everything. in a house of men, there seems to be no point in showing how i feel.