Filthy1
03-05-10, 16:12
Hey!!
Hope you guys are well.
Ok, so last night I was out and drinking (quite a bit as it was Bank Holiday) and saw a friend of mine who I haven't seen for a while and he was telling me about him and his fiance splitting up and her taking their kid away with her etc etc and how upsetting it is. So I was with him for hours really!
Anyway, we first met like 3 years ago, just before my Bf and I got together, but we kinda had a flirty texty thing happening which we were jokingly discussing. So, for some stupid reason, I asked the Q, "So would you have really "you know" back then?", to which he replied "Yeah but then you got with your bf so that put an end to that!" At which i felt shall we say a twinge "down there" especially when he asked if I would have slept with him back then too, which I would have so I said yes. (Don't know if it was a horny type twinge or a flutter at the thought of someone actually fancying me but obvo obsessing over it now)
I wouldn't sleep with him now obviously because I have a bf who I love
and I couldn't do that to him, but now I am freaking out and feeling stupidly guilty about what I said and how I felt. Even more so as I was actually having loads of fun with this guy.
I only really asked because I always think I looked a mess/was fat/ugly especially back when we first met so was just interested to see if he WOULD have gone home with me given the chance.
I think it was a kind of self esteem boost but now I feel really guilty and all these thoughts are going through my head telling me that I wanted to cheat on my bf, that I really fancy this guy, that he turns me on and my bf doesn't and that if my bf ever found out what I said he'd be devastated.
If I found out he'd said that to another girl I'd be pretty upset, so now I feel awful. I really don't want to hurt my bf and I'm terrified of losing him.
I don't even fancy this guy and I know he is still totally in love with his fiance.
I have always had this massive fear that I would cheat on my bf, nightmares about it, false memories of cheating, the urge to confess to him, the feeling of being a complete slut.
Do you think this is ROCD?? Or am I being slutty?? Bluuuurgh feeling horribly guilty right now.
Hope you guys are well.
Ok, so last night I was out and drinking (quite a bit as it was Bank Holiday) and saw a friend of mine who I haven't seen for a while and he was telling me about him and his fiance splitting up and her taking their kid away with her etc etc and how upsetting it is. So I was with him for hours really!
Anyway, we first met like 3 years ago, just before my Bf and I got together, but we kinda had a flirty texty thing happening which we were jokingly discussing. So, for some stupid reason, I asked the Q, "So would you have really "you know" back then?", to which he replied "Yeah but then you got with your bf so that put an end to that!" At which i felt shall we say a twinge "down there" especially when he asked if I would have slept with him back then too, which I would have so I said yes. (Don't know if it was a horny type twinge or a flutter at the thought of someone actually fancying me but obvo obsessing over it now)
I wouldn't sleep with him now obviously because I have a bf who I love
and I couldn't do that to him, but now I am freaking out and feeling stupidly guilty about what I said and how I felt. Even more so as I was actually having loads of fun with this guy.
I only really asked because I always think I looked a mess/was fat/ugly especially back when we first met so was just interested to see if he WOULD have gone home with me given the chance.
I think it was a kind of self esteem boost but now I feel really guilty and all these thoughts are going through my head telling me that I wanted to cheat on my bf, that I really fancy this guy, that he turns me on and my bf doesn't and that if my bf ever found out what I said he'd be devastated.
If I found out he'd said that to another girl I'd be pretty upset, so now I feel awful. I really don't want to hurt my bf and I'm terrified of losing him.
I don't even fancy this guy and I know he is still totally in love with his fiance.
I have always had this massive fear that I would cheat on my bf, nightmares about it, false memories of cheating, the urge to confess to him, the feeling of being a complete slut.
Do you think this is ROCD?? Or am I being slutty?? Bluuuurgh feeling horribly guilty right now.