sleep at last!!

[jaded jean]

Hi all.
Just a note to say...I woke at my usual 4.0oam , went back to bed thinking yeah ok lay here stare at the ceiling and have the chatterbox,but no , nothing I fell asleep and it was wonderful, things are looking up for Cit!! YAY:D
Jean

[Jannie2948]

Well done Jean!! Glad things are getting better for you. Stick with it and they will just keep getting better and better:D

Jannie x x

[JT69]

Hey Jean....

am well pleased for you hun...you are doing well....keep it up and you will be going great guns!!!

Jo.xx

[NoPoet]

Congratulations. It's the beginning of the end for your early wake-ups now that you know from experience that things are getting back to normal.

I remember how horrible they were when I had them back in the day. I'd recommend keeping your favourite music and some self-help mp3s on your CD or mp3 player to listen to if the chatterbox is off on one. Also the key in my experience to falling back asleep is to concentrate on your breathing, keep it into a relaxing rhythm. That normally knocks me out :)

[jaded jean]

Jannie-JT69 and Poet. I even had a brilliant day. I went out 3 times in the car only 1/2 mile trips but hey I did it, I took my fit note into work (worst thing is the offices are only 5-6oo yards away from my house, but went in bright and breezy I hope this lasts for a while. its my last morning of diazepam-1mg and then in a few days I cut down the night ones from 4-2mg . that I can say at present is my only fear. I go to see clincal occupational therapist tomoz as HR insisted my docs report wasnt worth the paper it was writen on whats that all about. told my line manager I was not happy about the situation but have no qualms about doing this and said its a shame there is no trust even with doctors etc. just so annoyed with them.but hey I am on my 2nd good day !! love and huge<<<<<<hugs>>>>> to you all. will keep you posted on how my appt goes .
Jeanxxxx

[JT69]

Hey Jean,

You sound like a completely different person!!! Am so pleased for you, you sound like you could shout from the roof tops! LOL!!! I can remember those days when I started to feel better....I hope it continues for you.

Shame about your work and their lack of understanding, it drives me mad when people in HR treat people in this way...as if you are not going through enough as it is. You would think they would receive the training on these things given there are so many of us suffering as we do with these type of illnesses.

Good luck today with it all. Let us know how you get on.

Take care.
Jo.xx

[jaded jean]

Hi Jo I certainly will. admittedly I feel'Is it euphoria'? will I start doing manic things but I am smiling. Thats all I am concerned with. Re HR I actually managed to speak to the directors P.A. as well whilst at work and she said he most probably a brilliant doctor but lousy report writer. so simple yet all this chuffing hassle aaarrgh!!
Onwards and upwards . hope you are doing ok as well Jo .
Jeanxxxxxxxxxx

[JT69]

Hi Jean,

Thats a positive thing then, like you say simple but such hassle.

I am doing o.k thanks, my illness started this time back in October and I ended up out of work almost 5 months until I was able to go back. I have suffered on and off for 11 years now, mostly taking meds. This past episode was the worst I have ever suffered and I was just lucky my employers understood and as i work for a large company and have done so for 25 years was entitled to sick pay which meant I was not put under any financial strain whilst I got better. I think it took so long as I had to change meds, being on citalopram on and off for around 9 years they just didnt do their job for me this past time and I had to come off and go on mirtazipine, thankfully I can put it behind me now and am back at work full-time, I still have my bad days like we all do but life is pretty much back to normal thanks.

I like to come on here to help others as I was given so much support when I needed it and truly dont know how I would of done it without this site.

Keep up the recovery hun...you are doing well.
Take care.
Jo.xx

[suzy-sue]

Im so glad you are feeling a lot better Jean ,I have been watching your progress .The euphoria will pass and no you wont be doing anything manic ..It just levels off so you feel normal .whatever that means :wacko:
Its usually around the 6-8th week .Then you will have a better idea if your current dose is fully effective .Sorry you are having probs with work ,but I hope it gets sorted out .Try not to let it stress you hun ,Keep positive, you are doing really well ...Luv Sue x

[jaded jean]

Hi Suzy Sue. yes I was just sitting here outside thand my mind is buzzing like I want to start shouting or singing or something. I have just started week 5 of the cit so it willwear off??
Jo I was on prozac for 10 years, mirtazapine for four months and now Citalopram -oh yes and I was offered chlorpromozine but only took 1 of them as it knocked me out literally so positve thoughts and positive actions .
Thanks for the ongoing support. I am glad I have come out of that dark scary hole called despair as I didnt have any company!!
<<<<<<hugs>>>>>. Jean

As for the work ethic thing -sod it I have worked hard all my life. never been long term sick before. I even used to take my 2 girls into work with me when I did night shifts at the nursing home where I worked.So I have no guilt in having paid sick leave so neh neh neh neh neh

[JT69]

Hi Jean,

Thats the attitude to take hun. I was like you dragged myself into work whenever I had anything wrong, and hadnt taken a days sick for 4 years until last October, unfortunately even though I kept trying to go in the illness really took hold of me and I had to go long term sick. On reflection my body needed that rest from work to get better as work had contributed to the illness in the first place, I was taking work home and never switching off etc...silly girl I was...never again!!! Am very conciencious but it was a huge learning curve for me, no job is worth your health!!!

So my advice is take as long as you need hun.

Take care.
JO.xx

[jaded jean]

Morning Jo.
How many years does it take us to realise?? It was like reading my own story looking at your reply. I think I was running with the wolves for too long and a lot of stuff got left by the wayside. I will heed your words, I do not need to be encouraged :D I know I am on the recovery route as I am changing my outfits a bit more instead of wash and wear!!Us girls and our clothes!! Tday is the first day without the morning diazepam so fingers crossed. My great niece is doing my hair at the salon where she works then this afternoon the clinical occupational therapist:ohmy:
Take care will post up later how I get on.
Jean

[susysparkle]

hi there. was just reading your [posts.. i to suffer from panic disorder, and have done on and off for a couple of years.. i see that you were taking diazepam.. i to take them if i get realy panicky. Can i ask how long you have been on them.. I usally try and just take a quater of a 5mg, which is 1.25, but on a bad day i may have tp take 2.5, which helps. im worried that my bosy has become used to them now, and afraid . Have also just been put on citrolapam 10mg, been on it for month now. At first they seem to ease the attacks, but last few days, i have found i was back to having some, and needed to take the diazepam.. Im so pleased to hear you are feeling better, and hope you can maybe give me some hope.. take care luv sue x

[jaded jean]

Hey Suzy sparkle
In the beginning..... I was put on 5mgs as I was on the ceiling, felt a real basket case. But hey did they calm me down. I only took 2 of those. was started on mirtazapine-15mg this was primarily to help me sleep-1month. then up to 30mg to get a stinmulant effect-4months. then citralopam 20mg and diaz-2mg this was 1x2mg in morning to calm me down before the cit as I am an absolute wuss at taking meds. and 2x2mg at night to help me sleep.
Today I have stopped the diaz. halfed it to1mg. for a week then stopped . In a few days I will be halfing the night-time dose to 2mg. I have been on them for a month. I thought today I am not going to cope with this . and I felt like I was just waiting to go into a blind panic but did not. Now with your situation your doctor should tell you that you have taken them for long enough or reduce your dosage due to dependancy as none of us need another problem like that !! I can totally identify with your situation.and it can be a scary place when your thoughts are divided as to should I or shouldnt I. If you have them as a just in case support thats ok. are you having any counselling? I am getting to see someone for the first time since my diagnosis last November. crap system here .If you are in doubt see your doctor , get him to write it down for you when to take them -I did as I felt I needed constant reassurance. If I did not see the doctor I would ring for a telephone consultation. Dont forget you are not alone here . anytime of the night or day someone is tapping away asking questions or in the chat room. psycho poet is a good link .
Take care sue .

Jean:winks:

[JT69]

Hi Susysparkle,

Diazepam are addictive if you take them regularly for long periods of time but o.k if you just take them as and when needed.

Now that you are on citalopram you will find that once they kick in you shouldn't need the diazepam, 10mg is a very low dose but an ideal dose to start with due to side effects etc and that is what you are probably experiencing at the moment, hence the need for the diazepam, and so take them cos they will help you until the citalopram begins to work. You may find that after a while on the cit your GP will increase your dose to 20mg as this is a more theraputic dose.

Good luck with it all hun and let us know how you get on.

JO.xx