Long train journey tomorrow

[Quiet-Lift]

Hello.

I haven't posted for awhile. I've got to go and visit my Mum in Wales tomorrow and I'm really worried about it.

I've been feeling very low over the past couple of weeks and don't want to let her down by telling her I've changed my mind and can't make the trip because of my fear of going out.

I'm getting myself into a bit of a state with the packing and need to get myself organised.

What makes this all so frustrating is that I've made this train journey several times before without any major problems. Even though I'm feeling depressed and run down, I know I can do it again if only I can manage to concentrate on the steps I need to take.

I've written out a list of what i need to take and what i need to do before I leave and am in the process of working my way through it.

Thanks for reading this.

Any words of support or encouragement would be most welcome.

All the best

[ladybird64]

Hi there :)

I'm sure you'll make it because even though you feel hesitant, you also sound quite determined.

You have done all right things in getting yourself organised, as you say you have done the trip before (that never matters when we're anxious, does it? :winks:) and you know that the preparation and anticipation is the worst part..we always assume it's going to be awful!

I know it sounds odd but I have found that the best time to tackle a new challenge is when we are anxious/depressed, you may well find the same in that things tomorrow aren't as difficult as you thought they would be.

I have a theory about this (having gone through it recently). When we are so nervy and scared, that is the time that we would normally say "I can't do it, I'm not strong enough" and cancel our plans. The anxious part of our brain perceives this as normal and if we challenge it in some way, the anxiety is reduced because we are breaking the hold it has over us!

I walked a local route less than 5 mins from my house, I normally freeze and have to force myself to go further. I did this same route during a serious bout of depression, got halfway up the road and waited for the panic to set it, braced myself for the battle.

The battle never came! I was slightly nervous but kept moving, I felt that the panic was trying to find a way through but couldn't..I was making that journey come hell or high water.

It worked for me and although it is still a work in progress, I am much better. Don't let your anxiety take over tomorrow, if its there it's there but sod it..you're going to see your mum so anxiety can come along for the ride if it wants but you don't care either way. :)

I'll be thinking of you, have courage and go do what you want to do. :flowers:

[PanchoGoz]

Ladybird's advice is awesome.
Here's what I would do as a second idea:

1) Choose the time you are leaving, how long you will be away, and how long the journey will be. This kind of prepares you for what will happen.
2) Tell yourself that this IS happening and you are going no matter how anxious you will feel and write it down as proof and keep it safe.
3) Decide how anxious you will be. This sounds wierd and risky, but its all preparation again. Rate it reasonably from 1 to 10; somewhere you can cope but not unrealisticly like 1 because you will probably be above 1. Choose something like 4. This gives you something to keep to. If you get lower then great!
4) Keep distracted until the time comes then go for it. Bring a book or something like that that you can turn to if bored or anxious. Treat it as home until you get back.

My methods are all METHODICAL. I like to have my mind in place and I like to know what to expect. This might not work for everyone but its worth setting everything out plainly sometimes, so you are not shocked.

YOU CAN DO IT!

[Quiet-Lift]

Hello Ladybird and Lunalupe.:)

Thanks for your replies. Very helpful advice. I've arrived safely and many of my fears proved to be groundless.

I'm not the most methodical person Lunalupe. I'm more emotional, which tends to get in the way of the more rational sort of exercise you're describing. Taking a book helped though.

Thanks all the same.

Take care.:hugs: