Yawning Frog
05-05-10, 20:49
Now I've been able to indentify that it's anxiety disorder I'm suffering from I feel like a load has been lifted already.
I have had three episodes of psychosis each worst than the last but seem to have recovered reasonably well. I still suffer a fair bit on a day to day level but I'm not so worried about will this ever end anymore. There seems to be so many different conditions out there that I could identify with and say yes that's me I have those symptoms and for a while now I have wanted to find a label to call it so I can just say Okay I'm suffering from this.
I must admit I now understand why the NHS team are reluctant to put a name to any condition I feel this has really helped me dig deep to find out what is wrong. Now I have come to a conclusion that If I can manage my anxiety levels using the techniques that everybody seems to talk about, and I've searched far and wide into the depths of spirituality and mysticism and the information and techniques the professionals in the UK recommend they all seem to be saying the same thing, so I suppose what my problem is not the understanding or comprehension of what is happening, it's more the accepting my state of emotions as they are and actually putting the techniques into practice.
So far I must admit to myself that I can't do it alone, which is why I have decided to write on this forum.
Things I'm still struggling with is opening a conversation, I get very paranoid and anxious and I become incapable of speaking to people even my family and friends because I feel embarrised and ashamed of things I've done in the past or some of the thoughts that have been going on in my mind that I darent utter for fear of being ridiculed or misunderstood.
I feel ashamed that I have not been able to show members of my family support in times of need as I've been to preoccupied with my own suffering and worry too much about putting off a bad vibe.
I have just moved house too and living with friends, something that has been a goal of mine for a long time yet I'm feeling so self conscious all the time and when I hear other people talk about or ridicule people they know, I indentify with the things they are saying and begin to think that they are also talking about me. I understand that the world doesn't revolve around me, the problem is I think other people think that's what I am thinking arrgh! :doh:
I have had three episodes of psychosis each worst than the last but seem to have recovered reasonably well. I still suffer a fair bit on a day to day level but I'm not so worried about will this ever end anymore. There seems to be so many different conditions out there that I could identify with and say yes that's me I have those symptoms and for a while now I have wanted to find a label to call it so I can just say Okay I'm suffering from this.
I must admit I now understand why the NHS team are reluctant to put a name to any condition I feel this has really helped me dig deep to find out what is wrong. Now I have come to a conclusion that If I can manage my anxiety levels using the techniques that everybody seems to talk about, and I've searched far and wide into the depths of spirituality and mysticism and the information and techniques the professionals in the UK recommend they all seem to be saying the same thing, so I suppose what my problem is not the understanding or comprehension of what is happening, it's more the accepting my state of emotions as they are and actually putting the techniques into practice.
So far I must admit to myself that I can't do it alone, which is why I have decided to write on this forum.
Things I'm still struggling with is opening a conversation, I get very paranoid and anxious and I become incapable of speaking to people even my family and friends because I feel embarrised and ashamed of things I've done in the past or some of the thoughts that have been going on in my mind that I darent utter for fear of being ridiculed or misunderstood.
I feel ashamed that I have not been able to show members of my family support in times of need as I've been to preoccupied with my own suffering and worry too much about putting off a bad vibe.
I have just moved house too and living with friends, something that has been a goal of mine for a long time yet I'm feeling so self conscious all the time and when I hear other people talk about or ridicule people they know, I indentify with the things they are saying and begin to think that they are also talking about me. I understand that the world doesn't revolve around me, the problem is I think other people think that's what I am thinking arrgh! :doh: