Grumbling rant about panic attack and anxiety.

[maxine]

Howdy all,

I'll try and keep this short I just needed an outlet for my general frustration at the minute.

I've had PA's and Agoraphobia on and off since I was 17 with a good few years in between where I lived a normal life, tried various different medications with varying results.

A few months back my PA's returned due to me being very stressed out about various stuff ( I really need to work on keeping my stress levels down!).Two weeks ago I decided to try another new med ( Citrolpram) geez that didn't agree with me at all! I lasted a week and I just couldn't cope with my anxiety levels so stopped taking them on Saturday.( I spent all day Sat in bed shaking with panic/anxiety)

Since then my anx levels have been sky high and I'm finding it very difficult to reduce them, I haven't been any further than my back yard for a good week and the thought of the postie knocking on the door or the phone ringing is enough to make me panic.
I have never worried about those things so I'm hoping to hell that it's just a side effect of the medication working out my system.

So yeah.. there you go.

I'm sick to death of this now and I'd really like my life back but I'm not doing meds again, I refuse to feel that bad!


Any ideas?

Ps Thank you for the various people on here who have kept me occupied and amused where I could have easily has wallowed in a pool of self pity. :)

Peace out

Maxine

[jude uk]

Most meds will take longer to work than a week or two. In fact most take about 3 months to really kick in. I would suggest seeing your doctor again and think about counselling along with meds in the short to medium term

[maxine]

Thanks for replying Judeswan :)

I have tried other meds in the past and stuck them out for months it's just the Citrolpram i couldn't cope with.

Unfortunately my GP is a bit rubbish, he's really not interested in any kind of mental health issues and it shows, his solution is just to chuck pills at me to get me to be quiet.

I've had to push really hard to get to speak to the CPN so I've decided to make some positive changes and switch GP.

I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself at the minute, it's very frustrating.

[jothenurse]

I know some people don't like the benzodiazepines, but at lower doses they do seem to help. I take Ativan .5 mg twice a day. Sometimes one of the dose me be 1 mg. About 30 years ago, when I was working through the panic disorder, I used Serax (another benzodiazepine) for months - then I tapered off of them and except for a little anxiety that would flare up once in awhile, I never had to take medicine again until this time when I just ran into a lot of stress.

[Lauren Chambers]

Hi, I used to take Citrolpram and I had really bad side effects from head aches, tummy aches and feeling sick. I was on these for about a month and then I decided to change to a different anti depressant as I felt they was not helping at all.
I have suffered from anxiety since I was 19, I am now 22 and I have just started getting out and about a bit more. It has taken a lot of help, set backs and many different emotions. At the moment I feel very positive.
Please tell me more about your anxiety and what other techniques you use to try and calm down and stay positive?
Lauren x

[maxine]

Hey jothenurse - Funnily enough the only thing I have never had any problems with was Valium on a low dose and as and when needed. I never took it for more than a week at a time but when I moved 2 years ago the current doctor won't prescribe it.
I'll see what happens with the new doctor.


Hi Lauren - I'm glad it wasn't just me who couldn't get along with Citrolpram! I really did try but it wasn't working.
I'm glad you are managing to get out and about a bit at the minute, it's the start you need.:)

The thing I get most annoyed about with me is the fact that I have beaten this before but it is just so hard when you land back in square one to get motivated and positive!
Currently, I'm finding my anxiety coming from "what if's" with other people maybe visiting me and if I'm honest I haven't dared go out due to the "what if's" either. Although I am going to ask my OH to come out with me this weekend, even if it's just a car drive around, I need to get back out the house.

I've decided I'm not doing medication again, it's not working for me so what I'm doing now is... attempting to breathe properly and do some relaxation cd's but i'm finding it so difficult to sit still.

My positivity is rubbish at the minute, any tips?

Maxine

[jothenurse]

I do feel bad for you having your panic/anxiety return. Like I sad in my other note I had panic disorder 30 years ago. (I am now 56). Throughout a couple of years, I worked through it with using Serax. Then - tapered off of it. After that, I did receive two degrees, one in nursing, and had/have a good career. I am on a medical leave now from a very stressful job - I am hoping to be able to go back to that job (and they are wanting me to come back), but still have a lot of anxiety to work through. I am so used to being so busy, and now without working, it is hard. I tend to sit and ruminate about every fast pulse, feeling like I'm going to faint, just all the physical symptons along with the feelings of unreality. I was so depressed when all this came back a few months ago. My counselor told me he could see it coming - I was working a very stressful job, have a mother who needed attention, and a boyfriend who decided to move out (both our decision) and then I had palpitations. After that my boyfriend had a heart attack, and my mother broke her arm. But - according to the counselor - a year or two prior to this I was just giving, giving, giving, and not taking care of myself. It shows you how important it is to keep on top of things. I am very depressed because I am going through this again.

[alicegreen]

I note that you say that you are finding it difficult to sit still. Would you be able to face going out for a jog or a brisk walk?

Exercise has been my savour at times when I am in a real panic. It actually calms my heart rate down as it uses some of the adrenaline up and then I feel more able to concentrate on relaxation and focus on some breathing techniques.

HTH

[maxine]

jothenurse - I know it's really depressing dealing with it again after having "normal" for so long, I'm 26 and for a good 3 years I was ok.
I think like you I started to forget to look after myself, was a carer for the elderly and my hours were gruelling.
Hopefully this will be the last time we deal with it. Fingers crossed.:)


Hey Alice, At the minute it's taking me all my time just to hang out the washing but i agree i could do with finding something to get rid of my excess energy.
I wonder if running up and down my stairs will work:huh:

[jothenurse]

AliceGreen -
I would love to exercise. That was one of the things I did do that was healthy. Unfortunately, when I started getting palpitations, I ended up in the ER a few times which really scared me. My pulse was up in the 150-160 range. The EKG's were all normal. One doc thought I may have had a supraventricular tachycardia (which is not dangerous) - but all the EKG's showed sinus tachycardia - normal, just fast from panic attack.
So, I am now trying to get back into exercising slowly (I use to run, shovel, hike, mow the lawn) - but when the palpitations happened, I really got scared to the point I would almost panic to have to walk up the stairs. (I know it sounds silly). So, I am trying to get back into it. When my pulse starts to go up (which it will if you are exercising and I am now not in the type of shape that I was before), I get nervous.

[alicegreen]

Jothenurse, I understand where you are at, I am in a similar position and have been through a full batch of cardio investigations recently. I have been assured that I can exercise safely and that it will only do me good. I have had a few minor panic attacks at the gym near the end of a class, and it is definitely brought on my realising that my heart rate is fast (well surprise surprise! haha)

Maxine - start with the stairs and aim for the outdoors, it will make you feel better. On days when I really feel dreadful I still have my dogs to walk and I never fail to feel better for getting out and getting moving!

Its just overcoming that part and doing it as I know I always feel uplifted after a class and sleep better when I am physically tired out rather than just emotionally mangled.

My hear rate can easily rise to 160 with anxiety alone but it never gets much higher even with a long run. My cardio said she could probably get me up to 190 on a treadmill with no ill effects so not to stress about my pulse all the time. (easier said than done at times)