PDA

View Full Version : New to this, looking for support



Roadtorecovery
05-05-10, 23:30
Hi

I've been Reading some post's which have been very helpful, I've suffered with occasional panic attacks for a while. Jan this year, I started experiencing daily panics, lastings hours normally.

I started to experience many uncomfortable/ worrying symptons since . I know anxiety can produce over 100 different symptoms.

Mine included muscle twitchs, numb fingers, usually the two inner fingers, slightly blurred vision, eye floaters, achy muscles, weak arms, Waking with numb arms, waking in the night, worry, fear of mortality, for both me and others around me, racing heart, nit knowing what to do with myself, irregular berating, unsteadiness or being off balance when standing, especially when standing in a queue. And of course the panic attacks that quickly followed.

After a couple of months, I went to see a doctor. I had previously been reasearching the net via google. Mistake, what I read worried me more and more, I became convinced I was suffering from ms. I told this to my doctor, told him my symptoms, my biggest fear was him saying doesn't sound good, I'm worried you have something bad (eg ms) and sending me for testS etc.

He didn't, he looked at me with a duprised face, and said "I don't think you have ms, it is very rare, and less common in males than females" he told me I was having panic attacks, but did niot offer any advice or support other than say u could do with a holiday to relieve stress. Unfortunatly finacial issues would not allow a holiday. he also suggested taking anti inflamitres, ibprofen, as a trApped ulnar nerve may be causing some issue in my arm, I had an x ray to check fir arithius in hands and arms under my suggestion as this runs in my family and may cause issues with trapped nerve, I've had discomfort in my hands for approx 10 years when writing etc, this to me is no issue.

X rays normal, no signs of arthirus, alrhough the doctor had given me some comfort, it was small and did not last. I had no reL confidence in him, probally wrongly, the doctor was young like me, mid twenties to thirty.

Over a couple of months, I experienced new symptoms from my "list" they came and went on their own accord . Panic gradually easied to a bearable level. I went from daily to weekly attacks, as I let go of my thoughts of my symptoms, they gradually mostly eased. I gave up smoking , all looked ok.

A couple of weeks later, my nan died in unfortunate circumstances, now I k ow people die, but not only the greif of the death, but seeing my family. Especially my grandad so upset, upset me greatly.

The next day, the panic returned full blown, I couldn't sleep, rung nhs direct and told tem I was worried I had reacted badly to ibuprofen I had taken that evening, after speaking to a doctor who advised I was having a panic attack I calmed, had some smokes and got to sleep around 7am , I obivoysly did not make it to work. I usually stArt at 7.30.

I have linked my anxiety to stress and alchchol. Alchol by far the worst, when I come off it the next dAy. I have found walking when panicking essential, Turing a panic attack down eventually.

Around 3 weeks ago, I saw a new doctor, refered by a friend, I had a 10 min appointment , the last one of the day, it lasted neArly 40. the doc listened too me, my fears of ms, my NANs death, etc. He advised anxiety, he doubted greatly ms . Still I was not covinced. He did sine basic balance and reflex tests , and did not note anything abnormal. He sent me for blood tests for low b12, diabetes, thyroid issues and sine other normal stuff. All came back fine. He prescribed me citlopram 20.

I was unsure wether these were right for me, he went through poss side effect,s and explained how they helped my brain to rebuild serotonin, by blocking panic signals which send for adreanalin. There is more too it than that, beyond my comprehension,

I trusted this doctor ver much . After nayb a week, the tabs took effect, I began to feel normal again. Most symptoms by this time went. I was left with shakiness and feeling off balance when standing , a lot if the time, these symptoms, seem to be the ones that gave caused me the most worry.

Recently, I have had a couple of panics. I have been routinely searching google. I have learnt much about my feared disease ms. I am still bothered, I still worry. I read a post from I told you I was I'll, on this forum last night, it gave me sone confidence.

I have list sine weight since my panic started, from 14.5 to 13 stone, I am still around a stone over weight.

I play football once a week. In a team, this is where unsteadiness really bothers mr, by the end of a match I feel very off balance, with trembling , lasting for a while after the exercise, I do calm down, usually a beer in the pub after helps too.

I am very concerned with these feelings after exercise. I would REALLY love too know, is this common with anxiety???

Your patience reading this is greatly appreciated, I know it is long but any reassurance, advice etc regards my last comments would help me soo much!

Lauz
06-05-10, 07:44
Hey
Great post by the way, it was really great reading, and although you have been so much it was evident reading your words how level headed you are about everything, you seem to take things and work through them quite rationally which is great especially with HA.

As for the issue with exercise I dont think it would be anything to worry about as you are running around getting your heart rate up etc, it is probably all the adrenaline rushing around and then when you stop the game you body just reacts like that as it calms down? That is just my theory to it all, and isn't so scary :)

All the best!

Roadtorecovery
06-05-10, 09:48
Thanks for your reply, trying to be logical helps mr, but it all goes out the window when I panic and logic quickly turns into worst case worry.

I'm sure your right about aderalin, deep down I know my body is producing too my much, which in turn is creating these symptons, I'm usually worse at night after a hard stressful day at work, or If I do anything strenious. During the day in unsteady when standing, but I can cope with it. I know I need to improve on my fitness. And give up smoking again. I just fear the withdrawl of cigarettes wil increase my anxiety.

I want to feel better and have no symptoms. This is the worst part. When I want to feel better, my body will not let me. O know I need to forget it. But the symptoms themselves bring on the attacks. Very vicious cycle.

Roadtorecovery
10-05-10, 22:42
Just an update, I took a bottle of water on the pitch today & started to drink this, initally I felt unsteady again, but after finishing the bottle I felt back to normal, so Dehydration could be playing a part, as muscles are tense a lot with anxiety.

I had my nans funeral today, which also helped, as it gave me a lot of closure on the matter, Tonight, I have atension headache, which is to be expected I guess!!

Brunette
13-05-10, 13:40
Hi RtoR

I recently started running regularly again and for a couple of weeks felt a bit dodgy, especially just after exercise.

I'm pretty sure this was adrenaline. Everything seems to have settled down now though. Sounds like yours is adrenaline tooo.

Giving up the cigs will help no end in the long run. If your body is producing too much adrenaline, the last thing it needs is another stimulant - which nicotine is.

Roadtorecovery
14-05-10, 18:59
Hi brunette

I have comfort in your response also. Worrying has got the better of mr over the last few days, I found the following webpage very helpful explaing about panic attacks

http://www.mindpub.com/PanicAttacksinCOPD_chapter4.htm

hope this may help others

hallam11
14-05-10, 20:04
Hello,

Firslty I would like to say Im sorry you lost your nan, grief is hard enough to cope with without throwing in panic and anxiety to boot. I would echo what Lauz says, even though you worry and panic you still speak or write should I say in a rational manner. I know that when the worry sets in and your already in the panic cycle that it is hard to think logically.

The second doctor you saw for the 40 minutes sounds like he really took the time to speak and listen. I think that if you have had tests done, the balance and reflex as well as bloods, then you should have faith in him that you don't have ms. I know its hard to get it out of your mind when its a very big fear! Its awful but I think you know from what you are saying that you don't have ms. Anxiety is a clever disorder as it has so many sides to it.

After and during exercise I feel very of balance, drunk and like I am going to just tip over. Dehydration could well be the reason why or a big part of it!
Take care xxx

Roadtorecovery
15-05-10, 12:19
Went to a gym open day today on a free pass, a few years ago I had been a member of a gym with a friend, we trained together and paced each other, I went with my partner today and we stayed at a relatively slow pace, even though I am reativley unfit now, with my only exercise being evening walks and football match once a week

I was a bit scared to over exert myself and get the trembling in my arms and legs, this is main trigger of my panic. Done a slow swim after. Which I noticed the back leg muscles MUCH less tense, over the evening, I have noticed that my feeling of being unbalanced, could actually be because my legs are do tense, in a way a bit like trying to remain standing on your tip toes, just not to such a degree.

Anyway yesterrday , for the first time, I took a tablet called diazepan, which my doctor have prescribed me as a back up for extreme panic attacks, so far I've managed to avoid taking, so far I have managed to calm down a bit by having an alcholic drink, this, is Not advisable, I believe alchol is partially the trigger for my panic condition, as it reduced serotonin in the brain, I had definetly been drinking more than I should!

The diazepan, calmed me down, also, it allowed my muscles to untension and relax, my legs and myself in general felt loads better, fir a few hours, I can confidently say I had very little to no anxiety issues, be it symptoms or in my mind, here is the very big drawback to this particular medication, it is ADDICTIVE, I have a very addictive personality, and it is very important to make sure that I do not develop an addiction.

There are two sides too this, yes it was great to get some relief, but it will not permantly fix the problem, when the effects wear off, which I believe were around 6 hours or so, you will find yourself craving another tablet. Not only is the tablet addictive, bit you and ur mind will crave the feeling of relief. I have not taken another, I do want too, but I do not want to fall into a spiral . I am going to discuss this furher with my Gp this Wednesday when I see him.

So, what other ways can u find relief, albiet temporary, without putting youself at risk of becoming addicticed to something whose effectivness will become less and less over time of taking it, when ur body becomes more tolerant?

Alchol, temporay relief? Often causing very bad panics the next day or so, in my mind the cost is greater than the cure ( I do love a drink though)

Temporay effective tablets such as diazepan, if u have strong will power, they nay be of some benefit, IF your doctor agrees, I am NOT a doctor.
The trick being only to use them when u feel u honestly cannot manage, not when it's hard to manage, I'm sure most here no the difference.

Light, not over exertive exercise, benefits are great, anxiety reduces Motivaton greatly, it's much easier to swallow a tablet than trek down the gym or go for a walk when rain clouds are looming, BUT today with just gentle exercise, which I can progress over time, I felt almost complete relief, with no cost to my health and actually a little benefit.

By far my best reaction to a panic attack has been walking, to the park, my old school past the nearest supermarket, if ur reaaly lucky like me some beautiful fields. If while walking, you ate still having thoughts run through ur mind, may ring someone on ur mobile , be it a friend u have been promising to be in touch with, but haven't spoken in ages, a family member, someone u know who is going or has gone through a similar thing , I'm lucky there too I know at least 3 people. Anyone who doesn't mind a quick or long chat. My longer walks have involved 3
or 4 different convos with different people, trust me, this had really helped with relief of panic.

You may choose to take a bottle of water, if u start to feel tired , take a seat somewhere, if ur legs are tense, take a stretch. Do not worry what others who see u stretch think, u may feel that they think you are some sort of lunatic, however, u can lay ur bottom dollar most will actually be thinking "That person knows what they are doing when it cones to exercise, maybe I should get in the habit of exersing?" Just trust me on this!

Any comments or additions are welcome and may help others including me!

AbbaDionysius
01-06-10, 07:19
Rest assured that you are not alone...aches and pains can definitely be caused by anxieties. However, as you have already seen, you are not alone, and your rational approach seems to be helping you quite alot and is an inspiration to others, I am sure.

Thanks for your postings, and welcome to the site :welcome:

Roadtorecovery
06-06-10, 23:33
I feel I have come a long way in the last two weeks. After speaking with an aunt who suffers with depression, she advised me my drinking has actaully been combatting the positive output of my ssri tablets, she too likes a drink, so is on my level, she suggested a 3 week absintence from all alchol, to give my ssri a chance to build up.

I'm at the end of week one , I cannot believe wat a benefit I've felt, on the level, I've been using diazepam tablets on occasions, breaking a 5 mg tablet in half to give a smaller dose, I've taken two to three half tablets throughtout the days, this has been a great help to me, it has allowed my muscles especially arms and legs to untenensen, my unsteadiness which was by far my worst symptom in terms of fear producing, has pretty much gone, my arms feel less week, but I still get a tremor in my arm/ hand, although my trapped ulnar nerve may be playing a part in this.

My plan is to stay off diazepam asap. It is such an addictive drug, more addictive than smoking to me! Even when I've felt untense and not panicked, it pops in my head to take a tablet, often, I have now taken 8 and a half tablets, in the past MAyb 3 weeks, which goes too show just how addictive they will become, they are only a short term fix, they do work as a panic button. As my doctor refers to them as.

My compulsion to search the net for medical answers, or indeed problems, as reduced greatly, I do not miss hangovers from alchol, though I doubt I'd ever give up, I want to keep it controlled , I'm 25, I feel it is something I need to keep a watch on.

Bottom line, exercise and talking are ur best bets! It is a slow process, but I feel in out of the worst! Anyone use alchol to help them sleep? I know I do, I've now found out that alchol inhibits rem sleep which u need, so although u sleep, ur body doesn't get the required rest, this will def have a negative effect on your and mine anxiety!

Take comfort in that u may feel horrible today, tommorow, poss a bit longer, but with some extra hatmrd work You CAN make this go away and go back to leading a normal life, you will along the way, have developed some new skills, use these to help others where approriate!

Take care