So im on the way to end a controlling relationship..... PANIC stricken!! :((

[fairyclairy]

Hi guys,

Suppose im just wanting alittle support really :blush:
Iv been in a relationship now for 5 years, engaged for a year.. but its very controlling, hes very possesive, i hardly go out because he always accuses me of doing something and i dont stand up for myself because im scared of getting into a panic attack...

But iv finally decided i HAVE to get away from this... im terrified!!!

Im meant to be at his already but im just putting it off.. im soo scared of having a huge panic attack and totally loosing control! Im scared of his reaction! Im scared il get so worked up that il vomit (huge vomit phobia!)
Im just so scared.... been worked up since Wednesday because i knew i had to do this...
I really dont think i can...

Please wish me luck... this could be a real turning point in my illness and getting my confidence back again! Thanks guys x

[Rheidy]

Hi I was right where u r now when I was 22 - only I waited too long, til after I'd gone through with the wedding! But ending it was absolutely the turning point in my anxiety and I was free from it for the next 17 years. I got my confidence back and was a new person.

Why don't you have someone go with you and just wait outside or around the corner so you know you have support right there if you need it?

I wish you luck, be strong, it's an awful thing to have to be going through but you will be fine, you are taking control

[andrew]

Hi Fairyclairy,

Good luck with this.

tc .. andrew

[Going home]

It's not easy and I speak from experience many years ago, but you owe it to yourself to get out of it. You and your health and well being are number one priority...its about you not him. Take a few deep breaths and go for it...we're all here with you...:)

Anna xxx

[fairyclairy]

Thanks guys! Well i did it.... feels so strange!
He was angry and didnt say much... jus got out my car, slammed the door and walked off, not heard from him since!
I know its for the best.. just hurts!
Thanks for your support-im sure il be ok xx

[Going home]

Good for you, the first step is the hardest and you've made it. It will get worse before it gets better and you'll probably miss him and have doubts about finnishing with him, and this is when we usually either take them back if they're begging, or we end up begging them (and my guess is this isn't the first time in 5 years you've done this am I right?) but however many times you've done this or if this is the first time, the feelings are the same. Just remember how bad it got and how ill it made you feel whenever you're tempted to go back to him...he won't change and that's a fact.

Keep posting and sharing, you're not alone ok?

[Temenos]

Well done, you've been really brave, nobody wants to be controlled, it wears you down and adds to any existing anxiety until it takes over!!! Maybe one day I'll have the guts to be where you find yourself ......... FREE xxx

[gypsywomen]

your very brave keep it up ,, i have been there its awfull

[PUGLETMUM]

:yesyes:well youve done better than i can fairyclairy - my relationship is totally wrong - i am ignored, i am told im the one in the wrong, im told to shut up, im called names if i try to tackle stuff - all classic emotional bullying - but i cannot leave and it is definately without a shadow of a doubt making me worse - you can have a different life now, like other poster said once you finally are free of him mentally you can move on and meet someone new whos nice and doesnt want to hurt you emotioanlly - well done and keep remembering why you did this?:hugs:

[pammy1944]

be strong ....it took me 5 yrs to walk away but it was the making of me .........xxxxxxxxxxx

[Jannie2948]

I've been there and I had two children, but I did it and it was by far the best thing I have ever done in my life. My ex was a controlling bully who terrified me but I made the decision after one night of such terrible fear that I knew I could not do it any more. I went to work with bruises and told them that I had at last got rid of him, and I have never looked back and my children are great and have grown up to be fine young men who would never treat a woman in that way.

I wish you all the very best and you will just get stronger from now on and you will be great I am sure.

All the very best to you

Jannie x x

[suzy-sue]

Good luck Fairy :hugs:You have done the right thing .He would only have got worse as the years went by ..One day you will meet someone who treats you with respect .No one deserves to be reated like that .,I hope your anxiety settles down soon and you have a much happier life now :yesyes:.lUV Sue xx:bighug1:

[fairyclairy]

Thank you so much guys, your support really does mean so much! I love this site!

Feeling ok today - relieved i have finally done it after 5 years, bt also alittle upset that its come to this! Im only 22 though so hopefully have many years to find someone who treats me right :flowers:

I know itl be hard for the next few weeks, and just hoping he doesnt start texting or ringing because itl make it alot harder... but im sure i can be strong and im sure i can start to get my life back, thank you again x

[ASH65]

well bloody done honey,stick with it and take good care,as you can read
people on here only want the best for you
an ocean of love....a new life awaits you xxx:flowers:

[Veronica H]

:flowers::bighug1::bighug1:you have done the right thing Claire.
Your life will get better now.

Veronicax

[Brunette]

Well done you - your life starts here! :D

[mollymoo]

Well done! I have been there and done that (3 x lol, not a fast learner!) and no matter if he contacts you making all sorts of promises, stay strong. You can and WILL move on from all this. Wishing you all the very best xx