View Full Version : NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH PANIC DISORDER... scared and confused
i think my first proper panic attack was when i was in amsterdam in february, had a pure joint in the coffee shop (no idea why seeing as i don't even like weed... i make stupid decisions) and when i started to get high i totally FREAKED out ran upstairs, outside onto the pavement, i was absolutely boiling so i pretty much took off my top (and i'm a girl... that's not really acceptable in public) and was lying down on the street hugging the pavement. my heart was beating so so fast and i thought i was having a heart attack and dying. it was horrible.
At the time i had no idea it was a panic attack and only found out yesterday after being diagnosed by the psychiatrist. for 8 weeks, since mothers day, i have been feeling so spaced out and exhausted and ill in a lot of ways... worse headaches i've ever had, not being able to concentrate at all, not being able to fall asleep for ages (4 or 5am) and then having really disturbed sleep- waking up 6-8 times each night- and having the most horrible dreams when i don't normally have any dreams. i have seen loads of doctors and had an MRI scan, 2 EEG's, 2 chest xrays, abdominal ultrasound and blood tests. eventually the tests showed no abnormalities, and when i saw the psychiatrist yesterday he diagnosed me with panic disorder.
i took my first pill of citalopram yesterday, 10mg, i took it in the morning and felt soooooooo tired all day, and bear in mind i had been feeling exhausted for 8 weeks prior to now, so i mean properly tired. so today i'm going to take it just before i go to bed... anyone know if that's ok or does it affect the side effects?
for 1 week i'm on 10mg and then increasing to 20mg... has anyone else done that and if so can you notice the increased dose? because i feel bloody awful on 10mg. and although i felt pretty vile beforehand i definitely feel different now, i feel constantly drowsy and sick and am very aware of the fact i am on medication! but on the bright side i'm hoping because they make me tired they'll help me fall asleep faster and get more sleep.
anyway..... how old is everyone? because i'm only 19 (20 in august) and i'm worried because i didn't think i would be on anti-depressants at this young age- and i know that i'm not necessarily taking them to treat depression but still it's a pretty scary thought.
Also, does anyone know what's potential causes of panic attacks? because my grandma who i was really close to, and my aunt died late December 2009. and now we are having to sell a house which i went to every weekend for many years of my life an spent many christmases at and have so many memories from. and my boyfriend dumped me in january (but was only with him for a couple of months so wasn't that bothered). so maybe those things contribute to it?
i really don't understand all this. and i hate that one day i can change so very much, when i am usually such a confident outgoing person and now i just feel scared and alone because of not understanding why i am ill, how long i'm going to be ill and worrying about falling behind at university and losing friends because i'm not there with them, i'm at home still bloody unwell.
Redrainbow
08-05-10, 20:23
Hi
Most here will know how you feel, yeah it's not easy,,,,I don't think anyone knows what starts panic attacks, but everyone knows how horrid they are, that's for sure.
I'm on lots of different meds for my depression and anxiety, been on them a few months now. Give your meds some time and they will really start to help you. Believe me you are not on your own,,,even though you do feel like the only person in the world.
I hope you start to feel better soon, really i do,,,i got my first taste of depression and anxiety at the grand old age of 37, so it can happen anytime i think,,,, As i say hope you feel better soon and you will find lots of people who can help you on here,
Regards Redrainbow,,,
Everything is going to be okay. There is no exact reason to why ppl get anxiety or panic attacks but I believe everything happens for a reason. I've had anxiety attacks since I was 5 and wasn't diagnosed unil I was 13. No one can understand how you rlly feel unless they themselves have anxiety..that's what this site is for. I know what ur feeling is hard to endure and scary but you can handle it and as u learn more about urself, the more u will learn how to deal with ur panic. Just keep talkn to ur therapist and writing and ul be fine..hang in there! Write anytime :)
frightenedbutterfly
08-05-10, 20:40
Hi :)
My gosh, I can relate to you so much and I'm so sorry you're going through this.
With regards to the citalopram, or any medication really, I find it's better to take them before bed so you should sleep through the side-effects... or the side effects may put you to sleep. You will feel rough for a week or so I'm afraid hun... SSRIs are the most 'gentle' of all the anti-depressants though and the nausea will pass.
A lot of people respond well to citalopram for their anxiety/panic. You start at a small dose to just introduce the drug to your system, building up gradually so you don't get hit with a giant medication brick!!
I'm 22, and was diagnosed with PD just before I turned 19. Like you, I found the thought of being on anti-depressants terrifying. But my GP said it's no different to taking vitamins. You take those to help your body, and that's what medication does :)
There can be any number of triggers for panic, from what you've said about the trip to Amsterdam and your recent losses (I'm very sorry about your Grandma and Aunt) ontop of moving... wow. That is an immense amount of stress, so it is very possible it contributed. There could also be a genetic factor, anxiety disorders can run in families. I can't remember any studies right now though.
Have you been referred for CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)? That can really help with managing the attacks and also understand more about what is happening to you. I can recommend you a very good book: Panic Attacks by Christine Ingham.
What are you studying at University? :) is there a student counselling service?
Please PM me if you need someone to talk to.
Sorry I babbled on for so long!!!
Hey ragdoll!
My experience is very very similar to yours. I had a panic attack after having drugs in Cambodia, but at the time I had no idea it was a panic attack. I swear I thought I was dying. After that every single day I felt exhausted, sore, my mouth and throat felt swallen and there jsut felt like there was this pressure and numbness in my head and face. My body felt numb a lot too.
I had so many tests when I got home, but all came back clear and then the psychiatrist told me it was definitely panic attacks and a panic disorder, although I still struggle sometimes to believe panic attacks can cause me to feel so horrible. And every time I have one I still think I'm dying! I'm on anti-depressants too (fluoxetine) and it's helping me so so so much.
I used to be really happy and crazy and confident too, and now I'm just a shy, scared mess of a girl, lol. I'm always nervous and worried about something, and I don't see my friends nearly as much as I used to. I'm slowly getting there though.
There are so so so many things that contribute to stress which cause the panic attacks. SOunds like you have been under a bit of stress lately, and drugs are definitely a massive contributor to panic attacks.
If you ever need someone to chat to feel free to give me a message :) I hope you start feeling better soon!
Hi ragdoll you really are suffering from panic disorder, I can recognise a lot of what you describe in my own experiences but I have never taken any Citalopram or the like because I am also prescription drug phobic after a hell of a weekend where I took Midadrine for Orthostatic intolerance and I had to be taken to hospital and I was kept in for 24 hours because of side effects. Anyway thats another story but basically medical research are now believing that panic attacks essentially are brought on by a faulty breathing pattern over a extended period of time. Chronic Hyperventilation Syndrome is well know to be responsible for major anxiety and associated panic attacks as well as exertional intolerance, shortness of breath, feelings of suffocation and major system imbalances which includes Digestive, Endocrine, Immune, Cardiac, Respiratory and Nervous System. This type of Hyperventilation is very subtle and changes your acid based blood balance to a more alkaline state so giving you major symptoms and sensations that mimic major disease processes. Your breathing may be out by a small amount so instead of breathing 12-14 times a minute you may be breathing 16-24 times a minute without realising and that is about 2-3 times more minute volume than your body needs so it changes your blood gases out of range. The treatment is relearning your proper breathing patterns which in my experience is easier said than done but there are numerous books around that can teach you such as Dinah Bradleys book on Hyperventilation or Full Catastropic living: How to cope with stress, pain and illness using mindfulness medication by Jon Kabat-Zihn 2008. Both can be bought on Amazon uk. I hope this is helpful.
Thanks everyone, it's always reassuring when other people have the same symptoms!
and Amiee, amazing blog! really made me laugh. think i might start something like that as i imagine it would be good to get emotions and feelings out by writing them down.
You're lucky you've got a boyfriend by your side at this difficult time, it would be nice to have someone close to be comforting who isn't the member of the family.
frightenedbutterfly: have you been on the meds for 3 years then? and if so, how does it affect your social life, like drinking alcohol- is it ok to drink? and if so how much?
yeah, to be honest i reckon i've been holding a lot of stress inside me since late 2007 early 2008 so i guess i'm due a breakdown (in the words of my mum!!).
yeah, i think i am going to be doing CBT... the psychiatrist said something about seeing a therapist once a week and then also there are like group get-togethers? which i personally think sounds really cringe as i just have this image of wearing a blind-fold and having to fall back into a strangers arms....... too many films i think! but yeah hopefully i can get this all sorted. i'm, quite literally, sick and tired of being down in the dumps and missing out on my youth!!
i'm studying Economics, haven't been back to uni this term though because i'm still not sleeping well and my halls are soooooooo noisy, and my room is on the bottom floor opposite the bar so that's also not handy. but i'm hoping to go back sunday night as i have an exam monday. i have no hope in passing the exam but i feel like i need to try and get back on track with my life, so i'm going to give it a shot, hopefully. although, my dose doubles on saturday to 20mg so maybe the side effects will increase... and that's not a good idea the day before my exam! oh well, i guess we'll see what happens.
Thanks again everyone for being so reassuring!
ALSO: i've always loved theme parks and adrenaline rushes like bungee jumping...........
does this new found disorder mean i'll have a panic attack if i do them again?
frightenedbutterfly
09-05-10, 14:10
I have been on and off meds for what now feels like an eternity!! Generally speaking, alcohol and medication never mix well. I've been hospitalised more than once because of the effects it had on my body. It might be best to try it out at home first, just to see what happens.
I do love your image of group!! I can assure you it's nothing like that at all. Of course, every group is different but it's a very useful thing to have.
Recovery from panic disorder is entirely possible so you can definitely do all the things you used to do once you learn how to manage the panic/adrenaline that might cause an attack :)
You're welcome. If you get any horrible symtpoms that scare you give me an email because I think I suffer from every single symptom possible! It's a bit ridiculous :) lol
Thanks for reading my blog :) I thought it'd just be fun for everyone here to read it and find the funny side to it rather than the scary side!
I am quite lucky to have a boyfriend at this time, I don't know how he puts up with me! I'm always freaking out over something, the most annoying girlfriend ever I believe. You can make some gret friends on here and have a little support team, I've made a really nice friend here who is great to talk to when I feel horrible because she actually understands exactly how I feel, she's not just guessing. That's the best thing about this palce, you make friends who understand rather than try to understand :)
Great to hear you're going to try go do your uni exam. I'm actually trying to do uni at the moment, first year. Unlucky that it seemed to coincide with my panic disorder! Made for a very stressful few months. On the topic of uni, I'd recommend upping your dose probably after your exam, just in case you do get a few more side effects on the upped dosage. One extra day wont make any difference :) And if it makes you tired definitely take it at night. Will give you a really good sleep! My meds stop me from sleeping so I have to take them as soon as I wake up, lol.
I looooved theme parks and stuff like that too, although never tried bungee jumping. I think you'll definitely be fine to do them again. You won't have the panic disorder forever :) And you might find that it's a good adrenaline and not one that terrifies your body. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. It's much like how people can have sex and not panic, but go for a walk and feel their heart beat faster then panic. Different mindset I suppose? :)
Frightened Butterfly-
yeah i'm not really in a desperate hurry to have alcohol but hopefully, if the meds work, i will come summer. so i might just talk to my psychiatrist about it to be sure.
what kind of things do you do in the group meet? and i know right... ridiculous image that i've got of what will happen! they should seriously stop showing group therapy in that way in movies as it's misleading!
Amiee-
I'm first year of uni too, missed so much last term though. and i'm attempting 3/4 of my exams hopefully, and then i'll only have to focus on one in the summer. because if i have to focus on all of them i know i'll just panic! but because i have 3 exams i don't think i can wait 3 further weeks to increase my dose, i'll just see what happens.
last night it took me forever to get to sleep, like before i was on the meds, so not sure whether they are keeping me awake or not! i felt so tired but couldn't sleep... same old problem.
ragdoll do not be concerned about group sessions, I have attended two and basically topics were discussed in front of a trained CBT councellor and everbody could chip in with there own experiences. The councellor would then give sound advice and reasons why the mind is acting in such an inappropiate way.
In fact you come away with a very good understanding and it does really help. I will give you an example.
Anxiety is intrinsic to all of us and without it as a species we would not survive so never try and get rid of anxiety but just realise that the goal is lowering the set point. So what you are going through is really just your mind trying to protect you when really it should be relaxed so in essense your body is true to you 100% its your mind that is out of kilter, so the symptoms and sensations that you are feeling are normal for how your brain is responding to external stimulus from your five senses. Thoughts can also start anxiety very quickly and lead to panic attacks because your brain has no realisation of time so any past or future fears are felt immediately because your brain senses that you need protecting now so in comes massive adrenaline, nor adrenaline and cortisol release so starting the panic attack. You then wind that first fear up because you are frightened of those awful sensations such as shortness of breath, smothering sensation, chest pain, feeling that death is imminent or something awful is going to happen. The adrenaline is again released in even bigger quantities and the full blown attack starts. panic attacks are never dangerous but are physically and emotionally draining in part because most sufferers link the attack to having a myocardial infarction.
This is the sort of thing you will learn and dont forget knowledge is power especially over your subconscious mind. I hope this helps and gets you to join a group for I think very valuable information and anxiety lowering techniques.
On the topic of alcohol, I used to drink and party heaps, but I haven't actually had alcohol for 5 months now and I'm feeling so healthy even though I still feel icky with anxiety and panic attacks. Like I feel healthier in one way at least :) I can still drink on my meds, but my psychiatrist just said it's generally just advised not to because it may increase the effects of the medication and give you more side effects. Some medicines do have bad effects with alcohol though so definitely best to check in with your psych first :)
Yeah 3 assignments in 3 weeks is tricky, but I reckon you'll be fine :) I think it's great that you're just going to try and do them! Maybe just wait until the first exam is done to increase your meds, then do it and start increasing straight after :)
This has happened to so many of my friends. It's only reason I've been able to cope with my drug induced anxiety... it's very possible for you to get much better. Most people I know who've acquired anxiety this way are much better within a year (though you probably always will have, and always had, a managable level of anxiety...). I'm 29, by the way, and something very similar happened to me only 6 weeks ago. We can get through this... :)
Ragdoll, your experience is exactly a replica to what happened to myself (including experiencing first panic disorder in Amsterdam!)
Can anyone tell me how long it takes people to not suffer from Panic Disorder again?
Hello, I thought I would just put in my two cents worth!
Firstly I am sorry for your losses, usually it can take time to process this through and we can, all of a sudden be hit in the face with a lot of stress and anixety.
I wouldn't worry about what age you are when you take anti-depressants, I was 21/22 and I kept on them for about 9 months but then came off them too quickly and relapsed this January. In mid march I went back on the anti-depressants because I just couldn't cope. What I would say is, would you not have a cast and crutch if you broke your leg?No, then why not take tablets to help you get better with a panic disorder. Don't think too much on them being anti-depressants but something that will help you.
You can get better from this, it just depends on how you go about it. Therapy helps, as does medication. If you don't want to go to group therapy then don't. For me I would and do try everything. Group therapy could mean you understand more by others experiences.
Laura xx
Martin Burridge
10-05-10, 21:51
Hi Ragdoll
Firstly let me reassure you that while panic attacks are unpleasant they pose no danger to you.
There are a number of possible causes of panic disorder and often it can be a combination of things. Genetics, trauma, stress and thinking patterns can all contribute.
GPs often prescribe anti-depressants known as SSRIs for Panic Disorder. I believe that citalopram is one of these. This can help reduce the anxiety that lead to panic attacks. For some people this may be sufficient to keep the panic attacks at bay. However if you are still having a problem then there are a number of therapies available to you. The therapy favoured by most GPs is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. This is a 'talking' therapy where you will learn to recognise your thinking patterns and change them into a ways of thinking that will lessen or eliminate your panic attacks. Some areas have long waiting lists so push your GP if he thinks it will help you. Alternatively you can go private.
Another effective treatment for Panic Disorder is Hypnotherapy. This works by helping you relax. When you are relaxed you are more open to positive suggestions that will benefit you. Like CBT it helps change the way you think thus reducing anxiety, lessening or eliminating panic attacks. The difference is that CBT works on the conscious or logical mind and Hypnotherapy works on the sub-conscious mind. Both therapies will encourage you to get out and about, gently push your boundaries and build your confidence. Some GPs will refer you to hypnotherapists but this is not so common because there is no one national body regulating hypnotherapy. There are self governing organisations who check that Hypnotherapists have had sufficient training. The 2 biggest ones are the General Hypnotherapy Register and the National Council of Hypnotherapy. You can find them with Google and from there find a registered Hypnotherapist.
Another complementary therapy that works for some people is the Emotional Freedom Technique but I don't know so much about this.
However if you are already seeing a psychiatrist then he will recommend the best option for you. If however his support finished with just the diagnosis then hopefully I have helped you understand some of the therapies available to you and other people experiencing PD.
Good luck and be reassured that many people with PD improve or overcome it when they find the right therapy for them.
wow, Martin thanks that is amazing help! yes i am going to be doing the CBT with a therapist and of course will be trying the group sessions Laura- like you i want to try anything and everything!
good to know we all understand each other though, you don't know HOW frustrating it was trying to describe how i felt to some people, namely my brother who thought he understood and thought i was being a hypercondriac.
Hi there, I'm so sorry I know exactly how you feel.
A couple of weeks ago I had a severe panic attack at work, so bad that I haven't been back. Everytime I think of going in to work my chest tightens and I start panicking again, so I have been signed off work for at least two weeks until I feel strong enough to go back (have been prescribed citalopram to help me cope). I was told for panic disorders the dosage for citalopram is 5 mg for a week and then 10 mg thereafter, which is what I will try.
Just to let you know though a few years ago I was on citalopram for depresison and I had no problems whatsoever with it, I only have great things to say about it. Like with any drug, however, realise that it is only a temporary cure. Have you spoken to someone about going to see a therapist? As that is what I will be doing. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is supposed to be very helpful for panic disorders - info here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy.
PLEASE don't worry about being on anti-depressents, there is a stigma attached to them only because SOME people become addicted/have problems coming off them. They will kick in, give you some new found confidence and after a few months you may be ready to come off them gradually. I did this a few years ago and had no problems whatsoever so don't worry :)
TheWolf,
There is no set time, it is different for everyone. Wanting to "hurry up" and get better is an understandable reaction but this is the last thing that will happen if you try to set time limits.
Just relax. You will get better. Just let it take as long as it takes.
citalopram will get better, im 22 with a baby son and have anxiety disorder with the odd panic attack from time to time. keep yourself buisy, and dont give up on the meds. ask ur doctor for a referral to your local mental health team for some CBT. Its helped me masively and im now on the road to recovery. Good luck x
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