View Full Version : Mission to Burnley
Ok I'm off to burnley tommnorow, my train leaves at 11:26am, Ive got to first go to a cash point, then go and pick up my stepson with my fiance, and then get on a train to leeds, off the train at leeds and on one to burnley....
oh I forgot to mention, I have trouble with going too far from my house these days....
as can be expected I'm somewhat dubious as to how im going to hold it together through all this, (getting drunk for the journey crossed my mind...)
oh and then ive gotta do it all again on thursday. Great.
I will post back on here and report how it goes tomorrow night if anyones interested.
Dan
Going home
10-05-10, 01:43
Dan I know just how you feel...I was very agoraphobic at one time but can now venture out much more but trains have always been something to avoid, next only to planes, but if your train is at 11.26am then the rush hour will be over so if you can sit with your family in a quiet part of the train it might help. Stations aren't my strong point either so I do sympathise with you..but at least you're not doing it alone and hopefully your fiance knows your fears and will help you to cope...if not have that drink!
Good luck with it, i'm sure you'll be ok and yes lets know how you get on.
Anna :)
argh, its been winding me up tonight, been lying in bed being unable to think of anything other than this train journey tomorrow, trying to think of ways to get out of it....
Going home
10-05-10, 02:26
Tell me what you think will happen, what are your fears about it...
chucking up is the worst case scenario I guess, but its GAD isn't it? its fear for fears sake, theres no logical rhyme or reason for it :(
Going home
10-05-10, 02:33
Is chucking up something you do with your anxiety, or is it just the fear of it as in emetophobia? My fear was always wanting to get off the train reeeelly quickly in my panic (a feeling of not being able to breath) and making a fool of myself having to pull the emergency cord!
Going home
10-05-10, 02:35
...and having no logical rhyme or reason for it is why we're all on here yes? weve just got to find a way to cope with it because it is only fear isnt it, i mean why would a train journey make us so fearful? why can't we just sit back and watch the fields go by?
course, i know thats why we're all here :), and yeah to be honest, wanting to evacuate the train real quick would probably be what i'd end up trying to do to..... sadly, as im sure many others here feel too, i cant just watch the fields go by as i'd like to......
see i dont really want to do this, i want to build up gradually to going out long distances again, rather than just diving in head first. Problem is, I cant get out of it, my mum booked us the tickets, and even though (as ive jsut checked out) they can still be refunded even after their validation date, that would'nt be the problem, my mother would go psychopathic at me over backing out now. as I jsut explained to someone on chat, I'm trying to work out which i'd rather endure:- my mother's long distance hatred for a few weeks, or the inevitable 4 hour panic attack on the train and in the train stations, (and regardless of what counsellors have told me, that panic attacks can only last for an hour until your sympathetic nervous system kicks in, mine certainly have the potential to last a lot longer)
Dan
Going home
10-05-10, 02:48
Dan, are you saying that your family don't sympathise with your agoraphobia? sorry if you're flitting from here to chat...i don't really do chat, I type too slowly lol!
Going home
10-05-10, 02:49
...and why is this particular trip important to them all? If you're not ready to do this, won't they understand?
I doubt it, I imagine mum would hang up the phone when i told her and probably not talk to me for a few weeks, though I truly should have chickened out earlier really. i did mention it on the phone to mum the other day but she jsut said 'you'll be fine' quite lightheartedly, I wish I shared her optimism. But yeah My family have been great at supporting me in a lot of ways, I think they just struggle to understand my 'mental health problem' sometimes
Going home
10-05-10, 02:59
I think we can all relate to that, the longer it goes on the more they lose their patience with us, its like you wish you were travelling with another sufferer so that when (if) you have a panic they wouldnt judge you or feel embarrassed by you. Ive actually left a train halfway through a journey from midlands to wales once...until i felt better and then got on another train to finnish my journey. I'm ok these days so it does get better.
But to get back to you...what are you going to do? I think you have go dan, just get through it as best you can..
thats kind of the thing, I dont like the fact I feel forced to go like this, I'm not being allowed to do things at my own pace
Going home
10-05-10, 03:03
But why are they forcing you?
Going home
10-05-10, 03:06
...and bearing in mind thats its now 3am, won't this make you feel worse physically?
because im booked to go in 8 hours time, and i know that if i back out theres goig to be a whole lot of anger directed my way, I mean i'd like to go I jsut don't feel I can handle the journey right now, espescially as I've had an awful week or so.
naturally, the lack of sleep is gonig to make me feel crappy also, but ive found it difficult to sleep, despite 75mg of amitriptyline
its my fault I guess, I should never have agreed to go on the train in the first place
Going home
10-05-10, 03:14
Well, only you know the best thing to do. Sometimes we have to put ourselves first and sometimes we have to take a deep breath and do what we have to do even though its gonna make us feel like crap doing it. We've all got the things that help us to cope in these situations, whether it be a mantra or a fanta or a whiskey and coke...if you have to go then do what you can to get through it. Equally, if you cannot go through with it don't beat yourself up, take the angry reactions on the chin and know that you're doing the best for your health.
Anna xxx
I guess we'll see in a few hours.... Thankyou for talking with me aobut it, i'm gonig to try and get a few winks while I can, think the amitrip might be working. thanks again and goodnight. x
Going home
10-05-10, 03:17
Goodnight Dan. Take care.
Anna xx
sarah jayne
10-05-10, 10:46
Hi danath, i'd just like to say good luck. Hope it goes ok, ive got to go to burnley tomorrow to the hospital, i wouldnt be so bad if it was a nice place lol.
Sarah x
Hi all, I made ! I got through both train journeys with virtually no anxiety! All last night i was worrying about nothing it seems, i find it odd that i get anxious going into town at home yet today ive passed through busy train stations and packed trains without any anxiety.... lets hope this is a landmark!
Dan
Going home
10-05-10, 22:07
Well done Dan :D good luck for thursday's journey too!
Anna xx
Both train journeys were conquered, I even enjoyed a walk in the woods round burnley's old stately home with my family and our new puppy. perhaps this is the start of a new era of victory in my war against anxiety, I certainly hope so.
Keep fighting people! it CAN get better!
Dan
Going home
14-05-10, 01:53
Thats really great, well done you. Take a look at my reply to phil06's thread called 'Long term solution to anxiety' and maybe you can now understand what i was on about :D
Take care
Anna xx
thank you for your support.
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