Its been a while so need a rant.......

[carter]

hi guys....

i have not been on here for a while as needed to have a break from everything....

the good news first

Im back at work full time, from being totally pretified of generally doing anything and being housebound for 3 months im now working, out and about and socialising...

Now the bad news......

although i do all of the above i still feel petrified inside i cant shift it....everydays a battle mentally....it gets so bad somedays i feel like locking myself in a room and staying there...but i plod on....., i do know they are not going to kill me blah blah blah, but it really really gets me down.......its no fun feeling scared all the time

im eating properly, sleeping ok better than i was....im only taking beta blockers however i find they only work for a while then you need to increase the dosage..but this just takes the edge of my panic attacks and anxiety so they are at least manageable.....

I would have to say im pretty down at the min well most of the time.....i want my old spark back.....unfortntatley feeling scared most of the time puts a dampener on that....and most people who know me just think im back to my old self now......how wrong they are

ive got a docs apointment tomorrow to discuss the way forward dosage ect........and i think the doc wants me to go down the ssri route again.....but to be honest after the last ones (prozac) making me housebound...... i dunno if i could go back and go through all of that again......was so so scary

please reply guys ......

[hallam11]

Hello,

Well firstly well done for going back to work. That is a huge step for someone who is housebound. If I wasn't hiding alot of my depression from my mum then I would stay forever in my room. You are doing so well getting out and about.

I understand how hard it is to feel scared daily, its awful and draining. I know having a mental battle everyday is exhausting and really gets us down. I can't offer any pearls of wisdom im sorry but I can say is that you are doing well and perhaps doing some meditation daily could help you to relax. I have been told that this could help me so maybe it could help you too! Or maybe writing down what you are thinking and feeling could help get it out.

I would just speak about your concerns with your doctor and perhaps you could come up with something else?

Take care
xxxx