Bill
12-05-10, 05:01
I hope this might help in some way....
Supposing you live in a flat and every morning you leave to go to work. As usual, you get in the lift and think nothing of it until one day the lift gets stuck and you're left there for what seems like hours feeling trapped. You panic thinking all the "what ifs" that could happen while you sit there waiting.
Eventually though help arrives but you feel so shaken up that the next morning you just can't face getting into the lift so instead you take the stairs.
You arrive at the office to start your day and everything feels ok but later you're called to a meeting and you suddenly get this overwhelming feeling of being trapped in what feels a tiny room with a crowd of people. You begin to panic and make an excuse to pop out to calm down.
After work though you feel well enough again to do some shopping but as you go around the shop, again you start feeling trapped which starts you off sweating, having palpitations and feelings as if you can't breathe. Everyone appears "alien" and everything feels "unreal". You finish the shopping as quickly so you can to get home to relax.
From that day on, you feel so afraid that you just can't face the lift, the office or even to go shopping because of the panicky feelings you felt that day. Each of these places now represent "feelings of fear" and of being "trapped" with no escape. What's happened is that a new memory has been left imprinted in your mind causing you to link these places with feelings of fear and yet you've been in these situations many times before without experiencing any problems....until now.
A bad experience in the lift is now being replayed in every situation that your memory now relates with feelings of being trapped. In other words, one bad day has affected your whole life because now you feel too afraid to even leave your home. Every time you think about leaving your home, all you feel is panic before you've even stepped out the door because in your mind you know you're going to have to face places where you experienced panicky feelings which now in themselves make you feel too afraid too feel because you now fear something will happen to you.
However, even in your flat you still can't relax and you feel anxious all the time. This is because once again your mind connects your flat with the bad memory of the experience in the lift being in a confined space making you feel trapped.
You now feel faced with a choice....
Give up and stay home in which case you feel anxious, depressed and a failure because you just can't control your feelings of fear OR force yourself to face these places again BUT you KNOW before you go out that you ARE going to feel terrified as a result.
However, there is a third option....
"The wrong preparation creates the wrong result but the right preparation creates the right result"
If you go out expecting to feel fear, you WILL feel fear and you will almost certainly fail. However, if you can learn BEFORE you attempt to go out how to be and remain calm, to Not focus on your feelings and remind yourself of the thoughts you once had before that bad day when you left for work, then with willpower and determination and most importantly when you feel well enough to attempt it, it IS possible to then erase these memories of fear and replace them with new memories of feeling relaxed in these situations again so that you can get on with your life.
What I would say, is try not to give in to fear because if you do, fear will follow you wherever you go that you think represents safety because in effect anywhere you think is safe will actually become your trap so fear will reside with you wherever you go.
It does take time but to defeat fear, you must in your mind feel free to roam with no chains to confine you or you'll always feel trapped with memories of fear.:hugs:
Supposing you live in a flat and every morning you leave to go to work. As usual, you get in the lift and think nothing of it until one day the lift gets stuck and you're left there for what seems like hours feeling trapped. You panic thinking all the "what ifs" that could happen while you sit there waiting.
Eventually though help arrives but you feel so shaken up that the next morning you just can't face getting into the lift so instead you take the stairs.
You arrive at the office to start your day and everything feels ok but later you're called to a meeting and you suddenly get this overwhelming feeling of being trapped in what feels a tiny room with a crowd of people. You begin to panic and make an excuse to pop out to calm down.
After work though you feel well enough again to do some shopping but as you go around the shop, again you start feeling trapped which starts you off sweating, having palpitations and feelings as if you can't breathe. Everyone appears "alien" and everything feels "unreal". You finish the shopping as quickly so you can to get home to relax.
From that day on, you feel so afraid that you just can't face the lift, the office or even to go shopping because of the panicky feelings you felt that day. Each of these places now represent "feelings of fear" and of being "trapped" with no escape. What's happened is that a new memory has been left imprinted in your mind causing you to link these places with feelings of fear and yet you've been in these situations many times before without experiencing any problems....until now.
A bad experience in the lift is now being replayed in every situation that your memory now relates with feelings of being trapped. In other words, one bad day has affected your whole life because now you feel too afraid to even leave your home. Every time you think about leaving your home, all you feel is panic before you've even stepped out the door because in your mind you know you're going to have to face places where you experienced panicky feelings which now in themselves make you feel too afraid too feel because you now fear something will happen to you.
However, even in your flat you still can't relax and you feel anxious all the time. This is because once again your mind connects your flat with the bad memory of the experience in the lift being in a confined space making you feel trapped.
You now feel faced with a choice....
Give up and stay home in which case you feel anxious, depressed and a failure because you just can't control your feelings of fear OR force yourself to face these places again BUT you KNOW before you go out that you ARE going to feel terrified as a result.
However, there is a third option....
"The wrong preparation creates the wrong result but the right preparation creates the right result"
If you go out expecting to feel fear, you WILL feel fear and you will almost certainly fail. However, if you can learn BEFORE you attempt to go out how to be and remain calm, to Not focus on your feelings and remind yourself of the thoughts you once had before that bad day when you left for work, then with willpower and determination and most importantly when you feel well enough to attempt it, it IS possible to then erase these memories of fear and replace them with new memories of feeling relaxed in these situations again so that you can get on with your life.
What I would say, is try not to give in to fear because if you do, fear will follow you wherever you go that you think represents safety because in effect anywhere you think is safe will actually become your trap so fear will reside with you wherever you go.
It does take time but to defeat fear, you must in your mind feel free to roam with no chains to confine you or you'll always feel trapped with memories of fear.:hugs: