Decius
13-05-10, 19:35
Okay so for the past couple of months I have been under a lot of stress. Starting in February I got Tinnitus (a ringing in you ear that can be permanent). It caused me a lot stress. About this same time I was not accepted to any of the grad schools I applied to and found out that I was losing my job. This was in February and March. I was already under a lot of stress because of the ringing and then to find out about my job and grad school I was freaking out. To add to this, my girlfriend and I live in a state were neither of us are from, the closest family we have is 800 miles away, and we don't have many close friends here. It seemed like my world was falling apart. I began the job hunt and found a job that I really wanted (but I had been turned down many times before so I was trying not get my hopes up), but I did. I went to the interview on a Thursday and then that Friday I started have weird chest pains. As I was driving to a friends house, I pulled over thinking I was having a heart attack. I am only 23 and have had no major health problems (besides asthma and high blood pressure), and (to my knowledge) there are no major health problems in my family history. But I was still freaking out. My gf convinced me I was over reacting and that I didn't need to go to the hospital. The weird chest pain subsided, but did not go away. It was there all weekend. Finally, on Monday I went to the local walk-in clinic and they ran a bunch of test, my heart is fine, but they discovered I have high bilirubin levels and referred me to a specialist. She re-ran the blood test and found that my biliruben is still high. On top of this I have been having irregular bowel movements (which started on and off after I got tinnitus). The specialist thinks I have high bilirubin because of hemolysis (witch can lead to hemolytic anemia). I feel very stressed out and achy. I am not sure if the aches and pains and bowel movements I am feeling are from anxiety or an cancerous tumor or an anemia of some sort. It seems every time I look up some thing I fall into those symptoms and start freaking out (I know I shouldn't look up things with Dr. google, but I can't seem to help it:weep:). So I try to convince my self I am okay, but then I get a weird pain and remember to whole bilirubin/hemolysis thing and get stressed out. I feel like I don't know what to believe, the likelihood of it being anything serious is slim, but when I start to believe it, I think I am lying to myself and that it is something serious. It is a vicious circle and I don't know how to break it:unsure:. Sorry for the long post. Has anyone else been through something similar? how did you cope? Thanks.
Edit: I ended up getting the job but for some reason I am still freaking out about my health...
Edit: I ended up getting the job but for some reason I am still freaking out about my health...