Di_1
14-05-10, 18:20
I was raped by my uncle when i was 16, I turned to alcohol and drugs almost straight away. I was in college but got drunk all the time ruined my education and i was self harming alot, i just drank till i passed out, my parents went through hell with me, they didnt know what to do but i couldnt talk to them about it, i felt to dirty and disgusting. I just couldnt and still cant understand why he did it to me, i ended up attempting to commit suicide, i got sent to lots of people to talk to etc nothing worked, but then i met a man who was also an alcoholic but i fell in love with him we both stopped drinking, doing drugs and smoking, I am now 20 years old and i am married to that same man, he has been through so much with me, because of my nightmares, i can be very aggressive towards him but i have calmed down alot now we have been together for 2 years but i just need some advice i just cant get silly things out of my head, i just panicky over stupid things, My husband makes me feel safe but i just struggle going anywhere on my own i cant go out i cant open my curtains, i am scared of people, anyone come to talk to me and i have a complete breakdown i just feel like i am going to cry all the time. I did pull myself together and complete a college course i thought things were great but then i went to catch a bus on my own and a group of young lads started pushing me to the floor and being horrible to me and it just put me back to where i was and i just dont know anyway out of this nightmare, i am now expecting my first child and i am scared my baby is going to miss out on things because of the way i am.