feel bad taking medicine -benzodiazepine

[jothenurse]

Does anyone ever feel bad that they have to take medicine? I did not do well with the SSRI's (med phobia) and so I take Ativan, usually right now 1 mg. twice a day. My psychiatrist states that this is a low dose. I usually take one when I get up and then one around lunchtime. That's all I usually need. My NP suggests I take a .5 before bedtime (which I haven't yet) because I wake up always shakey and panicky.
I just sometimes feel like such a whimp having to take this stuff. When I had my panic disorder 30 years ago, I took Serax (a benzodiazepine) for quite awhile, and then as the anxiey got better (I was in college, did well), I just tapered it off. But for some reason I really struggle taking it this time. It's a different drug, but they are both benzodiazepines and addictive. I just wish I could do this by myself without the meds, but with the 20 pound weight loss, I need to have something to relax so I can eat some, and then the psychiatrist said they can taper me off. She also said this was a low dose. I guess it doesn't help that I am really depressed that I have to go through all this again after all of these years.

[Vixxy]

Hi, dont feel bad that you need to take medication to help your problems. I firmly believe that once anxiety hits, our brains stop functioning as well as they once would. I feel like they need that little bit of support to heal and get back to normal again.
My GP described it as:
Your brain is sitting in a bath, with a constant drip of seratonin coming from a tap. When youre not suffering from mental health problems the plug is in and only a little bit escapes through the over flow hole. When you are ill, the plug is out and your brain isnt being bathed in the happy hormones.
I know youre not on an AD, but I believe its the same thing. Your brain just needs a little chemical hug to get you better again.
Im more or less in teh same position as you. I get so anxious I cant eat and Im losing weight when I really dont want to be. It scares the sh*t out of me.
Im about to start an SSRI even though the last one made me pretty ill with bad side effects (i have a med phobia since then too), but I have to try it otherwise Im never going to get out of this horrible mess.
It sounds to me like we're both in a similar place at the moment. I hope knowing someone else is out there feeling just the same will offer you some comfort.
Take Care
V

[jothenurse]

With the ativan, I am able to eat a little better. I still feel gaggy in the morning, but by the afternoon and into the evening, even though I can't eat alot, I am able to eat some. So, I am hoping that once I can put some weight on and do some exercising, that will help a lot in at least helping me feel stronger.

[Vixxy]

Im the same, mornings are my worst time. Im getting about 900 calories a day at the moment and even getting to that point is really hard work!
My doctor prescribed me some juice drinks that have calories, vitamins and minerals in them. Ignore the fact this is a cancer website, its just something you might be able to get in the states
http://www.nutritionincancer.co.uk/en/forti-range/juice-style.html

[guitarpants]

Benzos work great as long as you don't become dependent on them, if you do, then they can ruin your life. I also have a med phobia, and I can't handle SSRI's, but I take Xanax every so often before bed if I need to, and it works well for what it does. You have to view it as like taking an aspirin or something, on an as-needed basis. It's not meant to be a regimen drug.

[jothenurse]

Yes, I'm afraid of the benzodiazepines - (Ativan), but because I can't handle the SSRi's, the psychiatrist has assured me that taking a couple of mg's of Ativan every day is a low dose, and that I will be able to taper off of it. So, yes, I have to take it every day for now. With the 20 pound weight loss, and I still am gaggy with the Ativan, I can sometimes eat a little bit.

[unspoken]

I have some Temazepam which my GP prescribed me 5 months ago when I couldn't sleep and couldn't eat and I had a virus on top of anxiety and depression that I wasn't recovering from because I wasn't able to sleep. I was in a total mess and the Temazepam allowed me to just float for a while and sleep a lot. After about 10 days, I stopped taking them because I didn't want to become dependent on them. I have taken some since on nights when I feel particularly panicky and restless. I also have diazepam which I was prescribed over a year ago while I was at uni trying to complete my dissertation but I found it really unhelpful when I was trying to study and it made me clumsy and disorientated but not sleepy.

It does worry me, becoming dependent on benzo's, which is why I weaned myself off the temazepam. 2mg a day does sound like a low dose. I'd say it's the least bad of two evils, being on a low dose tranquilizer, if it helps you to cope and allows you to eat. I tend to see it that way because I used to get into very self-destructive moods when I couldn't sleep and the tranquilizers seemed to stop that, and it seemed worth it.

I am on 4 different drugs at the moment, taking around 7 tablets a day. I have been on one of them for nearly 3 years. I feel too young to be on all these drugs and sometimes I feel angry and fed up of the drugs and I just want to be free of them and not to be dependent on them. But they make me feel more able to cope with my life and reduce pain and that has to be a good thing.

Oh and about SSRIs, I had nausea as a side effect on citalopram, which I couldn't cope with because I am emetophobic. But I went back to my GP and got sertraline, I'm now on 100mg, and it does seem to make a real difference to the way I feel. So if one doesn't work for you, another one may do.

[jothenurse]

Thanks for your replies.