HI EVERYONE

[WILLOW342]

TODAY IS A REALLY BIG DAY FOR ME. IVE BEEN SUFFERING PANICK ATTACKS FOR JUST OVER A YEAR AND IVE BEEN SO BAD IVE BEEN CONFINED TO MY HOUSE AND HAVE HAD TO QUIT MY JOB. FINALLY TODAY I HAVE MANAGED TO LEAVE MY HOUSE AND MY BOYFRIEND HAS BROUGHT ME INTO TOWN. HE,S GONE TO WORK NOW BUT IM SITTING HERE IN THE LIBRARY ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS. OK, IM SCARED, BUT HEH I FEEL RATHER PROUD OF MYSELF. I JUST HOPE THAT ONE DAY I CAN OVERCOME THIS AND START TO LIVE AGAIN, AT THE MOMENT I HAVE NO LIFE WHATSOEVER AND I CANNOT SEE AND END TO ALL MY PROBLEMS.
I HAD THERAPY FOR A SHORT WHILE TO TRY AND DETERMINE WHERE THIS ALL STEMS FROM BUT NO ONE COULD HELP ME. I FEEL LIKE I RELY ON THE DRUGS IM ON (VENLAFAXINE) EVEN THOUGH I DONT REALLY HAVE FAITH IN THEM ANY MORE. IS IT POSSIBLE FOR THESE ANTI DEPRESSANTS TO ACTUALLY CAUSE DEPRESSION?

I KIND OF JUST CAME ACROSS THIS SIGHT BY ACCIDENT BUT IM SO GLAD I DID, I COULD CRY. IM FED UP WITH DOCTORS AND THERAPISTS WHO DONT SEEM TO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND CONFUSE ME EVEN MORE. ITS NICE TO READ THAT IM NOT ALONE AND IM NOT GOING CRAZY.

I OFTEN WONDER IF THIS ILLNESS CAN BE PASSED DOWN THROUGH GENERATIONS AS MY DAD IS REAL BAD AT THE MOMENT. HES ON DIAZIPAM AND HES BEEN ON IT SINCE 1971. HE IS ALSO A BIG DRINKER AND I USED TO WORRY ABOUT MY DADS MOODS WHEN I WAS A KID. NOW THOUGH, I UNDERSTAND WHY AND I FEEL LIKE WE ARE ALIKE IN SO MANY WAYS. MY MUM HAS FINALLY BEEN TO THE DOCTOR (AS MY DAD WONT VISIT HIM) AND THEY ARE COMING TO SEE MY DAD ON TUESDAY. IM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT BUT I KNOW ITS GOTTA BE DONE AS IT COULD SAVE MY DAD,S LIFE. HE COULD FINALLY GET HIS LIFE BACK. IM SCARED THOUGH BECAUSE I KNOW THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE HIM AWAY AND ITS GOING TO BE MONTHS BEFORE HE GETS OUT OF HOSPITAL.

OH GOD, I JUST REALISED HOW LONG IVE BEEN WRITING FOR.

MUST GO NOW

SEE YA AND TAKE CARE

LOVE DIANE

[nomorepanic]

Hi Diane

Welcome to the site.

You should be very proud of yourself - read your first paragraph aloud!! You have been housebound and now you are sat in a library writing to us - well done. That is a big step.

We all know the feeling of not having a life trust me. I still look back and can't believe I have 'wasted' 10 years of mine being ill with Panic. I am trying to put that right now but it does take a lot of time, a lot of courage and it can be exhausting getting well again.

I also believe that the illness can be passed down through families - my dad was a quite nervous person and I am sure that he suffered panic attacks though they were never recognised many years ago. He sounds very much like your dad. Unfortunately he is dead now but I am sure if he was still alive we could compare notes on how we both felt and I would see that he was a sufferer too.

Hopefully now you have found the site you will come back and see us some more - try the chat room one night as well.

Take care and keep up the good recovery work.

Nicola

[Shelley]

Hi Diane,

My mum suffered from panic when she was in her earley to mid 20is my father worked nights and my mum was at home with 3 small children on her own, she said it was a terrible time, she told me this when I started to suffer - she also said that she got over it and so will I.

You're so brave to have taken the steps you took today, I hope you feel really proud of yourself.

x

Shell

[Meg]

Hi Diane,

Congratulations indeed on your huge progress.

The research shows that there is indeed a genetic effect and that children of anxiety/depression sufferers are 7 times more likely to experience it.
There is also research that says that about 30 % of all alcoholics are drinking because of underlying anxiety and panic.


It's unlikely your Dad will be in hospital for months for either a liver or alcoholic admission or a general psychiatric admission. If he's been ok to be at home up to now then he may be admitted for a review and some investigations but don't think of the worst automatically.

Your poor Mum - sounds like she's had a lot to cope with recently. Thankfully you are now on the road to recovery !!!

Reward yourself for all your progress and keep it up. Venlaflaxine is a good drug but different things suit different people and have differing side effects so if you feel worse on it - go and get it reviewed.

Keep up your good work by taking small progressive steps :D

Let us know how you are doing.

[Jo]

Hi Diane - My name is Jo and I suffer with panic attacks too. You have made such a big step Diane - I don't even know you but I feel so happy.

Would it be possible Diane, that your anxiety levels are heightened due to your fathers illness? You sound very worried - understandable! Just remember, if he does go away, he may be able to regain his life again!

Take care Diane - you are making great progress in beating your panic attacks!

Jo xx