lior
17-05-10, 21:29
Hello everyone, hope you're having a good day. Weather's lovely here.
I think I might be suffering from PTSD mildly. I got attacked on Friday night/Saturday morning. It was at a houseparty, a girl tried to claim my coat as her own, and when I could prove it was mine she got angry and hit me with the heel of her stiletto, on my cheekbone.
I tried for a long time to reason with her, even after she hit me. She was probably on drugs. The most shocking thing for me was that she could not be reasoned with, no matter what I said. I thought everyone could be reasoned with if you tried hard enough. But now I understand why there are wars. I am a pacifist. I didn't lay a finger on her. Eventually I got back my coat, but that was because someone else intervened.
She threatened to hit me and I was willing to take it, if it meant getting my coat back. I have an emotional attachment to it. It's mine - it's rightfully mine. It's wrong for someone to just take another person's property. I couldn't understand why she stuck to her decision even when it was so clear she was in the wrong.
I didn't fear for my life and it wasn't a serious injury. It's left a bruise but I've done everything I can to heal it with creams. But I was in serious shock afterwards, shaking, floods of tears, nausea...
Now I feel afraid. I don't like it... it's just a general feeling of fear. I feel like when I was little and was afraid of the dark. It's almost as if something is going to jump out at me from the corners of the room, or stab me from behind. There is nobody that I want to be with, but I don't want to be alone.
Why am I so afraid?
A couple of years ago, a car almost ran me over, and I understand now that I must be suffering PTSD after I read about it on here. I had frequent flashbacks and dreams, and I still get them when cars drive fast by me. I'm terrified of roads on some days. My heart starts racing when I have to stand in those islands on the road, with cars going in different directions in front and behind me. Horrible. In situations where I'm a bit nervous already, like on a date or something, I can barely bring myself to cross the road. Actually, I almost got run over when I was on a date, so it makes sense that I'd be more afraid when it's a similar situation.
I can't remember the girl's face. I always thought that if something happened to me, I'd study their face and find out their name... it's always so frustrating on TV when they can't identify the attackers. But it just didn't occur to me to find out her name, and I must have mentally blocked what her face was like.
How can I stop feeling afraid? It's sort of paralyzing - I don't feel like doing anything. The feeling of fear has taken over. It's filled my head and there isn't room for anything else. What can I do?
I think I might be suffering from PTSD mildly. I got attacked on Friday night/Saturday morning. It was at a houseparty, a girl tried to claim my coat as her own, and when I could prove it was mine she got angry and hit me with the heel of her stiletto, on my cheekbone.
I tried for a long time to reason with her, even after she hit me. She was probably on drugs. The most shocking thing for me was that she could not be reasoned with, no matter what I said. I thought everyone could be reasoned with if you tried hard enough. But now I understand why there are wars. I am a pacifist. I didn't lay a finger on her. Eventually I got back my coat, but that was because someone else intervened.
She threatened to hit me and I was willing to take it, if it meant getting my coat back. I have an emotional attachment to it. It's mine - it's rightfully mine. It's wrong for someone to just take another person's property. I couldn't understand why she stuck to her decision even when it was so clear she was in the wrong.
I didn't fear for my life and it wasn't a serious injury. It's left a bruise but I've done everything I can to heal it with creams. But I was in serious shock afterwards, shaking, floods of tears, nausea...
Now I feel afraid. I don't like it... it's just a general feeling of fear. I feel like when I was little and was afraid of the dark. It's almost as if something is going to jump out at me from the corners of the room, or stab me from behind. There is nobody that I want to be with, but I don't want to be alone.
Why am I so afraid?
A couple of years ago, a car almost ran me over, and I understand now that I must be suffering PTSD after I read about it on here. I had frequent flashbacks and dreams, and I still get them when cars drive fast by me. I'm terrified of roads on some days. My heart starts racing when I have to stand in those islands on the road, with cars going in different directions in front and behind me. Horrible. In situations where I'm a bit nervous already, like on a date or something, I can barely bring myself to cross the road. Actually, I almost got run over when I was on a date, so it makes sense that I'd be more afraid when it's a similar situation.
I can't remember the girl's face. I always thought that if something happened to me, I'd study their face and find out their name... it's always so frustrating on TV when they can't identify the attackers. But it just didn't occur to me to find out her name, and I must have mentally blocked what her face was like.
How can I stop feeling afraid? It's sort of paralyzing - I don't feel like doing anything. The feeling of fear has taken over. It's filled my head and there isn't room for anything else. What can I do?