unreality

[puppyskin]

does anyone feel unreal,i get feelings and thoughts that all this is a big hoax,like nothing really matters things have no meaning and seem pointless,i think i could be in a dream or even dead,but deep down i know its all real,maybe im just weird.:wacko:

[ClownWithLeprosy]

I too have had these thoughts, but eventually found that they provide me with no enjoyment and don't particularly help in any way, shape or form. So I let them go.

[puppyskin]

is it just an anxiety thing?

[ClownWithLeprosy]

Sort of. The thing is anxiety and paranoia go hand in hand. These are thoughts of paranoia which onsets anxiety. When you start having these thoughts just find something to occupy your mind, like cooking (I've started baking cakes, a delicious way of removing unwanted thoughts) or something.

[puppyskin]

its really hard i think cos you sort of monitor everything you do,like whats the point sort of thing,quite disstressing.

[ClownWithLeprosy]

Yeah, but that distress own leads to more anxiety. Allow yourself to be immersed into whatever your doing, all other thoughts are meaningless. You may want to try meditation, it helps you focus your thoughts by getting you to focus more on your breathing, plus you learn how to enjoy moments of silence without unwanted thoughts entering your mind.

[puppyskin]

thanks,ill give it a go.

[RLR]

Well, if a person leads a non-goal directed life, it is fairly certain that things will seem pointless and detached. Many persons lack the skills or initiative in seeking out a life that fulfills their true desires, instead simply allowing life to happen and hoping for good fortune. Unless you take a very active and determined interest in life, then it will indeed feel as though you are simply being carried along for the ride. It can also produce a strong sense of mistrust because a life not anticipated is one that is largely unpredictable.

Clinical depression is very common among persons in such a predicament and they often describe feeling disconnected from their life as though it were without substance and the daily events mundane and insignificant. They sometimes will describe watching their life unfold rather than living it.

Unfortunately, distraction in the presence of ruminations of the type you describe only provide a more focused arena for intensification. In other words, ruminations are strengthened by efforts to avoid them in instances where they are in the category of what is termed ego dystonic. Ego dystonia is basically a troublesome thought pattern that would tend to reinforce a quality or characteristic that the person dreads or denies. The more one tries to avoid thinking about it, the more it is reinforced and the weaker one's constitution becomes. It is essentially the fear that thoughts in of themselves constitute the basis for identity. It takes Descartes famous adage "I think, therefore I am" one step further to "What I think is therefore what I am."

While the original quote is representative of keen insight, the latter can become just as arguably true for many persons. So to avoid stepping onto philisophical ground on the matter, I'll simply share with you here that you needn't worry about trying to use diversion as a means to attempt to solve the problem. If you merely take life in hand and lead it where you wish to proceed, then the thoughts and perceptions of derealism will be vanquished on their own.

You must realize that you have within you the power to rule your life as you command it, not to simply be born into it with no ability to steer its course. This is true for all persons. You must draw forth a plan for your life that precisely details what you wish to extract from it, followed by the carefully planned steps to reach your goals. You must educate yourself concerning how to best proceed and avoid pitfalls as much as practical.

This is such a simple and eloquent formula, yet it remains well out of reach for many people because they simply don't know where to begin and feel that their life has them trapped by virtue of commanding all of their time and efforts simply to maintain an existence. This perception is one of resignation to the belief that they lack any capacity to overcome their predicament and to alternatively wield power over their destiny.

This is the very essence of feeling "unreal" and that "everything is just a hoax." It is a life unattainable by virtue of two very critical missing ingredients, the first of which is discipline. This is not just any discipline, but rather a very unique and individual discipline that you can't emulate from some author in a book or testimonial of another person. It must be your own special set of rules that you yearn to obey because it constitutes the key to the life you seek. When you can establish this set of rules, this discipline that you pine for and strive to maintain, then you can move a mountain if that's what you wish.

You must also manifest within yourself the second critical element of determination to rule your life to whatever it is that you want most. You might find it hard to believe, but many people do not know how to obtain determination and discipline of this type. Thousands are observed to artificially do so by trying to follow someone elses's path. This path seldom, if ever, produces the desired result and with good reason. It's because it's entirely passive in nature and foreign to one's own patterns. In other words, you can't live a life like Mr. or Mrs. Jones because you're not either of these people. You can only be you and you only have your own special ingredients to make your life meaningful. Thus, the people who invest in attempting to model their life after others most often find it fledgling and their confidence along with it.

So when you start feeling that your life is pointless, unreal and nothing but a hoax, try looking inward to determine whether your expectations are aimed in the right direction, for in most cases the key to changing those perspectives is internal rather than external. Decide who you want to represent yourself as in this world and then learn how to develop the discipline and determination to make it happen.

That is precisely the purpose for all of this time granted you. Seize it, for you can elect to steer the course or simply go along for the ride but either way, time proceeds and in only one direction.

Best regards,

Rutheford Rane, MD (ret.)

[ClownWithLeprosy]

^This is one of the best pieces of advise I've ever heard. Beat the shit out what I was saying.

[puppyskin]

rlr,,amazing,thankyou.

[jothenurse]

Are these the feelings of unreality that you get with your anxiety - the stuff that Claire Weekes talks about? I find them very scary, too. But, you're saying, I think, to just move through them and go about what you're doing and they will eventually go away?

[puppyskin]

i think mine comes from very very deep thinking,which is scary.