sweetmummy
19-05-10, 11:10
For the last couple of weeks my panic attacks have almost taken over my life completely. I cant sleep, for fear of dying so trigger repeated panic attacks, I took one at my daughters school, cos my thoughts just started wondering. :( My doctor has upped my prescription to 120mg per day of propranalol, but i dont feel any different (that was a week ago he upped it).
Im surviving some nights on as little as 30 mins sleep others im that tired i can sleep for 3 hours. But everytime i close my eyes, my dreams take me to horrible places. Last night i had such a vivid dream, I nodded off about 4am, it appeared that i was in a church with a wedding going on, i walked to the front of the church & standing there was my daughter getting married, she looked beautiful, but as I looked about everyone looked older, but no-one noticed me. I saw her dad, her step-dad (which is a miracle that both could be in the same room), my son (who looked so much older), & our family all around. As i tried to talk to her, I heard my daughter say she wished I could have been there & how she missed me. With that I woke up with a jolt, to see my husband whom had been woken up by a scream i had did out loud. He was totally freaked out, said he'd tried to wake me, cos i was crying in my sleep. :unsure: When i looked at the clock it was on 4.20am. I know it just sounds like a dream but its totally freaking me out even more. I couldnt get back to sleep & have taken 2 panic attacks since.
My doctor is sending me back to counselling but im not sure it will help, i always feel worse! But the waiting list is long so chances are it could be months before i see anyone again!
Sorry for the rant. I just need to vent. Scared the attacks are taking over me. Ive not had a day for a while without an attack. Really wish i could be normal.
Im surviving some nights on as little as 30 mins sleep others im that tired i can sleep for 3 hours. But everytime i close my eyes, my dreams take me to horrible places. Last night i had such a vivid dream, I nodded off about 4am, it appeared that i was in a church with a wedding going on, i walked to the front of the church & standing there was my daughter getting married, she looked beautiful, but as I looked about everyone looked older, but no-one noticed me. I saw her dad, her step-dad (which is a miracle that both could be in the same room), my son (who looked so much older), & our family all around. As i tried to talk to her, I heard my daughter say she wished I could have been there & how she missed me. With that I woke up with a jolt, to see my husband whom had been woken up by a scream i had did out loud. He was totally freaked out, said he'd tried to wake me, cos i was crying in my sleep. :unsure: When i looked at the clock it was on 4.20am. I know it just sounds like a dream but its totally freaking me out even more. I couldnt get back to sleep & have taken 2 panic attacks since.
My doctor is sending me back to counselling but im not sure it will help, i always feel worse! But the waiting list is long so chances are it could be months before i see anyone again!
Sorry for the rant. I just need to vent. Scared the attacks are taking over me. Ive not had a day for a while without an attack. Really wish i could be normal.