jet12
20-05-10, 13:14
Hello all
I posted on this excellent forum at the end of last year, regarding long standing panic related problems I have with speaking in public and at meetings. My original post is here:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=64444&highlight=Jet12
At the time of my post I was puting a fairly hellish few years behind me and focusing on practicing the skills my therapist had provided me with to get better and take control of my working life again. At the time I was determined not to be beaten by this very debilitating problem.
I'm pleased to say that a few months on and I am still just as determined to take control again. However, in recent weeks I've hit a couple of setbacks and just today I "froze" in a small meeting with trusted colleagues in a meeting that I have attended and spoken at on numerous occasions, albeit with extreme difficulty. I am very keen to seek the advice of those who have experienced or are experiencing similar issues as follows:
1. I have learned through the use of CBT how to recognise when negative/desparate/hopeless thoughts are surfacing and to undertsand the effect these can have on me and the power of changing my thought process. The benefits have been very clear in recent months, I no longer despair at the thought of upcoming meetings or speeches, I remain anxious, but controllably so - no hint of depressive feelings in advance of upcoming engagements - a huge step forward for me in my personal situation.
Where I am really struggling to make progress is in NOT engaging with the panic inducing thoughts that hit me seconds before, or during, meetings or speaking engagements. Today it was like being hit with a sledgehammer with no prior warning, yet I went into the situation aware of the need not to connect with the panicky thoughts when it was my turn to speak, but I just don't seem able to allow the thoughts to enter my head and NOT connect with them, try as I might. I'd be very grateful for advice/support from anyone who HAS managed to exert some control in this situation as its becoming a real concern that, perhaps, the fact I have suffered like this for many years until I got help means maybe things are just too "hard wired" in my brain and I'm fighting a losing battle?
2. I have resisted medication since I first sought professional help a couple of years ago. Part of me now believes that (perhaps) the use of a beta blocker (such as propranolol?) immediately prior to meetings, speeches might be useful in building confidence in anxiety provoking situations (meetings, speeches) given the fact that I cannot choose when to attend these events and I cannot "grade" my exposure to them in an attempt to get better ie: an "easy" meeting one day, a speech to 50 people the next etc..." - at this stage I'm finding ALL situations very challenging (and exhausting) and wonder whether a beta blcoker might help provide some support at a time I feel I need it.
Clearly, the issues in (2) are best answered by my therapist and GP but I would be keen to get the views of others who've been on this path with regards to beta blockers for situations such as the one I'm in.
Thanks very much in advance for any advice provided. I hope at least some of this rings true with others and look forward to your thouhgts.
Take care
Jet
I posted on this excellent forum at the end of last year, regarding long standing panic related problems I have with speaking in public and at meetings. My original post is here:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=64444&highlight=Jet12
At the time of my post I was puting a fairly hellish few years behind me and focusing on practicing the skills my therapist had provided me with to get better and take control of my working life again. At the time I was determined not to be beaten by this very debilitating problem.
I'm pleased to say that a few months on and I am still just as determined to take control again. However, in recent weeks I've hit a couple of setbacks and just today I "froze" in a small meeting with trusted colleagues in a meeting that I have attended and spoken at on numerous occasions, albeit with extreme difficulty. I am very keen to seek the advice of those who have experienced or are experiencing similar issues as follows:
1. I have learned through the use of CBT how to recognise when negative/desparate/hopeless thoughts are surfacing and to undertsand the effect these can have on me and the power of changing my thought process. The benefits have been very clear in recent months, I no longer despair at the thought of upcoming meetings or speeches, I remain anxious, but controllably so - no hint of depressive feelings in advance of upcoming engagements - a huge step forward for me in my personal situation.
Where I am really struggling to make progress is in NOT engaging with the panic inducing thoughts that hit me seconds before, or during, meetings or speaking engagements. Today it was like being hit with a sledgehammer with no prior warning, yet I went into the situation aware of the need not to connect with the panicky thoughts when it was my turn to speak, but I just don't seem able to allow the thoughts to enter my head and NOT connect with them, try as I might. I'd be very grateful for advice/support from anyone who HAS managed to exert some control in this situation as its becoming a real concern that, perhaps, the fact I have suffered like this for many years until I got help means maybe things are just too "hard wired" in my brain and I'm fighting a losing battle?
2. I have resisted medication since I first sought professional help a couple of years ago. Part of me now believes that (perhaps) the use of a beta blocker (such as propranolol?) immediately prior to meetings, speeches might be useful in building confidence in anxiety provoking situations (meetings, speeches) given the fact that I cannot choose when to attend these events and I cannot "grade" my exposure to them in an attempt to get better ie: an "easy" meeting one day, a speech to 50 people the next etc..." - at this stage I'm finding ALL situations very challenging (and exhausting) and wonder whether a beta blcoker might help provide some support at a time I feel I need it.
Clearly, the issues in (2) are best answered by my therapist and GP but I would be keen to get the views of others who've been on this path with regards to beta blockers for situations such as the one I'm in.
Thanks very much in advance for any advice provided. I hope at least some of this rings true with others and look forward to your thouhgts.
Take care
Jet