Not as plagued as I once was!

[Freak myself out]

The fear associated with believing I was having a heart attack or a stroke needs to be put into perspective. One day I'm going to have a stroke or a heart attack or I'll get cancer or get hit by a car, etc, etc.

Fate is fate. I canot avoid fate. So why do I pre-empt things? The Russians say the fear of death is worse than death itself. But what is death? Unless you believe in religion no-one has ever came back from the dead to tell us what death is have they?

I'm not religious, I'm a realiste! I only know now. I believe if my so-called maker (god) exists than he/she is a cynical hypocrite no better than the devil itself. A benign fraud. The worse lie of all!

So the fear has subsided somewhat over 20 years. Funny how I still cant get to sleep on my heart side as the sound of my heart beating freaks me out. Once asleep, however, I can move about and sleep in any position without phobia or anxiety. Funny that aye.

Ultimately my worst fears have not come true for my own health. Its definately a disease. My mind plays tricks on itself. The problem is, they feel so real.

[gladyscourt]

Here here. You would think if u are going to die then u wud enjoy urself, however i fear i am going to die of heart failure yet i live each day in fear of it and not enjoying my time left. so to speak xx

[Freak myself out]

Here here. You would think if u are going to die then u wud enjoy urself, however i fear i am going to die of heart failure yet i live each day in fear of it and not enjoying my time left. so to speak xx


I think we've got to make the most of life no matter what that entails. Everyones different. What shocks me may make you laugh and vice-versa. We need to accept the individuals choices for survival if they harm no-one else. Judging one another is just cruel and unneccessary.

In other words, do what you have to do to stay happy and in control and not worry about the majority and their scrutiny of us!

[gladyscourt]

Yeah and i agree, just wish it was as easy as writing it down on the forums. :unsure:

[Freak myself out]

I'm trying to face the fact that this may never go away. My anxiety is here to stay.

Writing is an outlet. For me it is easier than talking to a quack that has little idea of what its like to be challenged.

So this site is good because it makes me realise that I'm not alone and that people like you feel like me and together we can help each other.

Thats pretty harmless for us isn't it?

[gladyscourt]

Definatly harmless. Thats also what i like, because i think with anxiety u feel so alone, but its completely the opposite with this forum. Its brilliant x

[Freak myself out]

Definatly harmless. Thats also what i like, because i think with anxiety u feel so alone, but its completely the opposite with this forum. Its brilliant x


You know I waited 20 years to find an outlet like this! I tried to believe those who said my ailment was largely non-existent. I hid my disease the way a gay person hides their sexuality. Awareness and sharing are keys in our recoverys and through this site and kind people like yourself I will recover. You will too. Dont lose hope or belief. We will recover!

[Dungeonmaster]

Aye, I have been convinced for months now that every little ache or pain is a death sentence - I never knew I was so afraid of dying until recently. It is somewhat reassuring to hear that others have dealt with this for longer and confirm that they are getting over it or learned to cope with it as I do believe I feel better than I did when this all first started.

Sharing with others and writing is indeed a good outlet and one my psychotherapist suggested I do. When you read the posts from others you feel better because you begin to let go of that "I'm all alone" feeling you get when the odd aches and pains hit - mentally or physically.

Human beings are social creatures by nature and I believe that years of self-imposed isolation finally took their toll when that converged with my recent illness. Now, I look forward to being in the company of other people, participating in social activities with my wife and kids and am slowly getting my body and mind used to the fact that every ache or pain is not a terminal condition!

Each and every day that passes is PROOF that what I thought was going to kill me, did in fact NOT!