Falling apart with no where to turn.

[j2]

I am a 38 yr old male and have been diagnosed with HA, GERD and IBS. I had blood tests and a colonoscopy about 7 months ago. I had an mri of my brain about 6 yrs ago. I am not on medication besides for the GERD.

I am falling apart and convinced that I am dying. I have pain everywhere. My feet, my arms, my neck, my hands and knees all hurt. The pains migrate all over but I am always hurting somewhere. I have had horrible heart burn for days and the body pains just keep getting worse. These aren't aches from tension but deep nerve or joint pains that feel like I can barely stand on my feet without the pain being too much. Just typing this makes my fingers hurt. My mouth is dry and I keep having these split second bouts of dizziness. I have not been sleeping well and I just don't know if I can stand this pain anymore. My sinuses feel full and my ears are hurting some. My throat is raw and dry and I keep feeling like my throat is closing. I am simultaneouosly freaking out about throat cancer, brain cancer, any of a number of nuero diseases, pancreatic cancer and several other things. My wife thinks I can control this and my kids don't know why I am so tense and tired all the time. I need someone to talk to me. This pain is controlling my life and I just want to be normal again.

Sorry for the long post but I have never been so scared.

[Dungeonmaster]

j2, I am a 47 year old male and I know how you feel. Every day I wake up and something somewhere on my body hurts; worry, anxiety and fear all combine to make me more terrified of dying than I have been in my entire life. On top of all of that I have tinnitus which is with me ALL of the time.

What I am finding out is that I had been leading a life fueled by stress (and thus the stress hormone cortisol), always worried about something and never really relaxing. Sure I slept but my mind was always racing from one thing to the next and I usually would fall asleep from exhaustion rather than a regular bedtime routine. Additionally I ate a crap diet - bad foods, wrong foods and more often than not, NO food! Lastly I have been more sedentary in the last ten years than at any other point of my life. So years and years of abusing my body and mind have finally caught up with me in the form of aches, pains, stress and serious depression.

It is hard to relax when you are worried about your health or are in pain but that is the crux of the issue. I do not know about your eating habits (I know it's hard with GERD - I had my gall bladder out recently) or your exercise habits but if you can relax and remove some of the stress you might feel less of those aches and pains. You have been around for 38 years and God willing AT LEAST another 38 years await you. Good luck to you so you can get better for your wife, you kids and most importantly yourself!

[j2]

Thanks dungeon master,

Exercise helps my stress levels but I am can't get past the pain. My feet and knees ache when I run. I used to run marathons now it hurts to run a mile. Do you have any advice on what you would define as a good food for anxiety? I am willing to try anything. I "know" this is anxiety but I also "know" that I am dying of something horrible. I keep waiting for something to give and me to start feeling better but instead I keep finding more pain and stress. I am so thankful for people that understand and listen.

J2

[Tinkrebel]

Hi, I have very similar symptons and feelings and was finding it hard to deal with. I'm now taking medication (sertraline 100mg daily) and find that has really helped. I still have alot of the thoughts, but can put them into more perspective. I still have panic attacks regarding my health and dying but not as often.

I found the book available from this site regarding health anxiety very helpful, and extremely helpful for my husband and older kids to read so they can actually see how I'm feeling and how hard it is to change your thoughts. http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=78&products_id=238

Amanda x

[Zee]

I can fully understand all those feelings. I think dungeonmaster mentioned the cortisol levels. Its all just a vicious circle and really gets you down. I am used to aches in joints and muscles winter months.As my GP said, we all ache a bit more as we get a bit older..but I ache now even in hot weather..Today its my knees, ankles and muscular aches. I also get shakey with it at times. Yesterday was a particularly horrible day for aches and sinus stuffiness.As it got towards evening it settled down a bit but I just knew that when I hit the pillow I would be having those awful intrusive, weird thoughts that come from nowhere and make no sense because my anxiety level had been so high.
Im also having eating problems and struggling to get above 1000 cals a day which isnt good for metabolism!.
Its difficult to realise that so many of these symptoms are a product of anxiety and yet they are.

[j2]

I am just so frustrated and scared as a I have a dozen or so areas of pain on my body that pain comes and goes in varous levels of intensity for no apparent reason. I keep convincing myself of all these horrible things and then I can't sleep so I feel worse so then I feel more pain and so on and so on. Even when I am not stressed I feel pain. I don't know what to do. This has stripped me of the ability to think rationally about my health and is impacting every aspect of my life. I am very thankful to everyone who has responded and I hope to hear more from anyone else who can relate or has any thoughts.

Thanks