Health Anxiety, alcohol, guilt, Health Anxiety

[K3vin]

Hi,

I joined nmp months ago and have found it useful to see that there are many of us living with these issues.

I am hyper-focused on health. My preoccupation is my liver. I guess because I feel guilty that I drink. I hate the idea of 'giving myself' a disease. But the guilt and the stress probably makes me drink more.

I am always looking at my eyes for signs of jaundice, feeling my liver area, googling etc. And I know that yellow bowel motions are a bad sign.

For the last few days ..... (explicit...) I have diarrhea, which is yellow.
So, I really have to force myself to stop googling for other symptoms.
I am going to wait for a few more days and then go to the dr if nothing changes.

BUT....good news....I am also doing a course on mindfulness, and that is a really positive thing. Also, I have decided to give up alcohol, whether i have an issue or not. I've been off for a month or 2 before, and found it OK.

Finally, thanks for having such a great community here. This is the first time I have ever put my issues across on the web.

[diane07]

Hi K3vin

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Ronny]

Howdy....Good on you for giving up the grog,It does make you feel worse when you suffer from anxiety and H/A i hope you will start to feel much better,and try not to worry about your liver,as it will heal itself.Good on you kevin for making that decision :D
Rhonda x

[K3vin]

Thanks Rhonda,

I have good news re my worrying. I phoned a friend tonight - and asked her about the 'big picture'; my ongoing HA. She is a psychiatrist. We both agreed I should ask for CBT. And if I cannot get it free, I will go into debt to pay it. The alternative is not good. And do my 'mindfulness' work, which I am finding useful.

Then I mentioned my current worry - GI problems and v pale poo. As it happens she had the same illness for a week, and I HAD STAYED WITH HER FAMILY a week before my illness started. She commented on how her symptoms were the same, and her partner too.

So, I feel very happy with that outcome. What's more, I will stick with my decisions - the ones i made before getting the diagnosis.

1/ Do CBT
2/ Drop alcohol for 6 months, and review if I am any better off
3/ Throw myself into my 'mindfulness' course; CD, book, meditation.

I will keep the community informed. I really value the sharing. It has saved my sanity on some pretty dark days, K3vin

[Ronny]

Hi again....I am pleased you are going to try CBT,as I found this really good for me,and hope you do well with it also.Have you read any of Bill's posts on here,they are worth a read as he is very informative and has helped me a lot,I told him that I don't need to see my Psychologist anymore as I just read his posts,he is a wonderfull human being.Keep up with the no drinking,I have been there.Take care and hope all goes well for you
Rhonda x:D

[K3vin]

Thanks Ronny,

I will look up Bill's posts

Ta, K