randomworry (how is he doing today) thread

[randomworry]

This is my personal thread/journey as i will be starting my cbt in ernest from tomorrow. Ive gone private so i will also have to watching my pennies at £70 per hour lol..... hope this helps but i am sure it will as i am determined to make a full recover then share my new found knowledge with you all.

first things first i must put out of my mind from now all efforts to find a real serious physical problem for my symptoms and focus on treating my anxiety as a problem with excessive worry.

i will keep everyone posted on my recovery through this thread and i hope others can learn from it.

[randomworry]

current mood: determined

came back from therapy eager to stick to plan which meant stopping all reassurances and living life to the max. yes it sounds simple well according to the therapist it kind of is.

dont get me wrong it is going to be tough i will still get the intrusive thoughts saying 'it might be cancer, it might be cancer' but hey i need to live with these uncertainties or ruin my life and look miserable 24/7!!

back tomorrow!

[allergyphobia]

i also had my first CBT session today and have come back eager to stick to the things we have discussed... i really really hope it works for you :)

[Ronny]

Hello....Good on you both for trying CBT,I have done it and have managed to conquer a lot of my fears and worries.I hope it works for you....Have a Lovely day....:D
Rhonda x

[Jenny]

Have you all had CBT privately or through your own GP and does it entail someone actually walking out with you if you are too scared to do it alone ?

Jenny xx

[Ronny]

Hi Jenny.....I went private through my Psychologist,I don't know what happens in the Uk,maybe someone could go with you if you are scared and fear of open places,I never had that problem I suffer (or suffered from claustrophobia)but now I am OK.Talk to your GP he should be able to explain more.Have a great day.
Rhonda:flowers:

[randomworry]

current mood: 'dont want to go down that road again!'

ive noticed that when i am on the computer i am drawn to reading about health in general whether that be the health section of daily mail newspaper or how people have dealt with other health conditions such as chronic headaches which i have suffered from.

i have decided to stop all this reading on health i mean what a unusual thing to be obssesed with i dont think many other people enjoy reading about that stuff so much- it must be my science background!

Plus i dont want to store up obssesions for the future!

[smpomeroy]

i would stop reading the daily mail full stop thats enough to make any of us nervous (sorry bad joke!)

seriously - good luck with the CBT I am going to what is supposed to be my last session tomorrow, Im doing well at the moment but im not sure how or why it has worked for me but as soon as I saw the list if 'thought errors' and identified which ones made me panic it helped and what else helped is my natural lazy streak which meant I didnt want to have a panic attack because I knew I would have to write it all down and I didnt want to - now there's a cock eyed reason for therapy working - as a deterrant!! Anyway it has produced a positive result so I guess I dont need to question why. I have combined it with starting lots of execise which I have always been scared of and I think thats really helped to. I will be interested to follow your journey

best of luck

suz

[janni]

Good for you !! Keep up the good work.

[randomworry]

current mood: what if what if............

i keep getting images in my mind of the 'lump' i saw on the side of my neck when i was pressing and poking it. All i keep thinking is what if the doctor did not feel my neck right and why can they not ultrasound my whole neck (i have an ultrasound to check my thyroid due to hyperthyroidism)..........basically im scared they have missed something or perhaps im more scared that by not checking everything i will be what- if- ing (a new word!) forever which in some ways is worse than cancer i fear i may have because it keeps my life on hold!!

[allergyphobia]

randomworry, DISTRACT DISTRACT DISTRACT! every time you go to touch your neck, stop, force your hands to do something else, type, drink, play a game on your phone or pick up a book, ANYTHING.... i am constantly touching my neck and face to check for a reaction and my CBT guy has told me to distract myself every time i go to do it. the first step is to be conscious of the action - don't think about what if - focus on what you are doing, ok you want to check your neck, STOP, pick up your phone, or whatever, text someone distract yourself....write how many times a day you are checking yourself then the next day tally off how many times you do it and you have to reduce it each day..... just some of the tips ive picked up in my first session... i hope this helps x

[randomworry]

cheers allergyphobia to be honest i have not checked in about a week......i had a big relapse and was checking like mad but ive stopped now because im scared i will find something more and start believing im ill more and end up in a 'mad house' lol.

[jothenurse]

It's really neat that you guys get to go to a CBT type thing. I have a therapist, and they talk about some of that but no formal CBT training. I have a book on it that helps.

[LittleMissPanicky]

Oh Randomworry, this is exactly how i feel at the moment , i keep checking a spot in my mouth, which 2 dentists and 2 doctors have told me is fine, but i still keep thinking, what if....... Take care I know how you feel xx

[randomworry]

current mood: 'harder than i thought'

fallen back into the trap off other ocd compulsions today and getting fed up with thought that i may have neck cancer. feeling very agitated and on edge but still determined to fight.......determined not to let health anxiety ruin my life i resolve to keep up not doing any compulsions or reassure myself in any way. Also trying to do some uni applications to get my life back on track!

[LittleMissPanicky]

Keep it up hunny, I know exactly how your feeling, i'm with you all the way xxxx

[randomworry]

current mood: yeah i can stop compulsion but will i ever feel care free again

ive slipped back a bit since my first cbt on monday in doing compulsions and excessively reassuring myself but today i have not done any of that yet which is great.....just feel a bit low in mood and negative because of the constant intrusive thoughts thinking i have cancer etc

well will keep you all posted

[LittleMissPanicky]

Well done, keep going xxx