Anxiety vs real life emergencies.

[pd]

So my other half totaled his car this morning. They took him to hospital for a check-up, he walked away with cuts and bruises but apparently was 'lucky' to be able to do that. Him being in an accident is one of my worst anxieties, but this I handled fine. I spoke to him on the phone, talked to his mum, spoke to the mate who collected him from hospital and took him home (I'm at the other end of the country at the moment, most helpful) but I didn't freak out at all, compared to when he doesn't immediately answer his phone and I freak out.

Anyone else experienced freaking out over 'pretend' emergencies, but found themselves able to deal with real-life situations pretty well? It's strange.

[Going home]

I'm very glad your other half lived to tell the tale and that nobody else was hurt, but when you say you always dread him being in an accident, does this mean he's a mad driver usually? How did he total his car? Constant worrying about this must be awful. I really cannot understand why so many young girls seem to live with so much angst about their boyfriends...no wonder you're all filled with so many physical symptoms of anxiety, it must be totally exhausting for you! I know we can't help who we love and call me old fashioned if you want, but why do you all sell yourelf so short when it comes to blokes? You're worth so much more....wait for the good ones to come along, they are out there honest!

And if ive got this totally wrong then i apologise :)

Take care
Anna xxx

[pd]

He's a bit of a fast driver (for me anyway, but I'd never go over 25 if I had the choice:blush: which is why I don't drive much) but aside from a few scrapes that's the first accident he's ever really had... First car he's written off anyway. Nobody else involved, just the car going off the road. I'm not sure why it's so prevalent amonst my anxieties, I dread him being in an accident same as I dread suddenly developing a life-threatening illness, or same as I dread someone breaking into my house and killing me. It's not really logical at all. I guess because his driving is something completely out of my control, especially when I'm not actually there, and potentially dangerous things being out of my control tend to equal anxiety! I'm a bit freaked out about this today, been thinking about what MIGHT have happened, but I suppose that's normal. I was just surprised that I dealed with the 'I've had an accident' phonecall without panic. Meh.

[Brunette]

Hi pd,

Yes, I have always dealt with real emergencies pretty calmly. The imagined ones are much worse. My husband is a policeman and I hate it if he is on nights and I can't get through to his mobile.

I think is is because in a real emergency there is usually some action to take, whether that's doing helping a person, calming somebody else down or even just evacuating or something like that.

An imagined emergency isn't real so there is nothing you can do - except try to change your thinking about it!

Gh - I think this was about imagned concerns over loved-ones in general, not a sign of dependency on one person.

[JaneC]

Anyone else experienced freaking out over 'pretend' emergencies, but found themselves able to deal with real-life situations pretty well? It's strange.

Absolutely pd. Fret over lot of things that might or might not happen and whatnot but when something really bad does happen, eg when my young daughter had what turned out to be a seizure, I held it together rather well. Glad your other half is ok. x

[alicegreen]

I have to deal with real life emergencies at work a lot.

Funny enough, pretty much all of the people that I work with would describe me as calm in a crisis, which is hilarious to me when over nothing at home I can end up pacing the garden at 2am convinced I am about to die!

[pd]

Brunette: Yes, I think it is more over-the-top concern for anyone I'm close to rather than dependency on my bloke, with him I worry about car accidents, with my mum and dad it's their health (they both have long-running health problems), with my friends it's usually risky aspects of their lifestyles I worry about, my grandmother it's simply her age and the fact that the worst could happen at any time, but the anxiety I feel towards my boyfriend is perhaps the most irrational.

But I guess it's like most things, in that I can be awake at 2am having a panic attack over what MIGHT happen, and when something, whatever it may be DOES happen I'm generally pretty calm, and I have been in various situations, including injuries to loved ones, accidents, the real (as in real, not 'HA' real) possibility of something being very wrong with me, and I've coped. I wonder what, in so many of these cases, makes the 'might' so much worse than the actual event?

Now don't get me wrong here, I worry that my partner will be killed in an accident. I'm under no illusion that if that happened I would remain calm, but then, I wouldn't really be expected to. As is, rationally, I know it isn't likely. The odds are against it. Especially now that he doesn't have a car. :whistles: Funny. He'll be coming home by train this weekend. I've suddenly started wondering what happens in the event of a rail emergency, and whether evacuation procedures are adequate. :doh:

[greig]

I panic over nothing and small trivial things that create unnerving amounts of high anxiety.
However, when faced with major episodes of emergency - like my three month old daughter's emergency heart surgery - then I cope better than anyone.
Can anyone make sense of this ??

[Going home]

I think its like the others have said, we have anxiety because we only imagine how a dangerous situation will affect us, and our imagination is very powerful so we always think the worst about ourselves, that we'd never cope, that we'd collapse with the stress of it, but in reality we do cope...when we're in the middle of an emergency situation there's no time for imagination so we just do what we have to do I guess.

Anna xx