redorblonde41
25-05-10, 15:04
Hi,have been sat here for ages trying to get the courage to write a few words! I have been suffering with depression on and off for years. This time it has been different, because with it has come anxiety. I have tried a number of antidepressants that made the anxiety worse! I am now on venlafaxine and also have a low dose of diazepam.I also suffer from OCD, trying to leave the house some days is an ordeal with the constant checking and "circuit" I have to complete! I was off work for 4 months trying to deal with it all, have recently tried returning to work, for 2 hours a day which is to be gradually increased, however that was 4 weeks ago and I still cant do more than 2 hours, it takes me ages to calm myself once I get in work, then I am very anxious having to interact with colleagues that I have known for years! Everyday things are also a huge deal for me, such as going to the shops,picking my daughter up from school, talking to almost anybody, I feel like I am trembling all the way through my body and my hands visibly shake. Constant lump in my throat! Pounding heart and the urge to do everything quickly! My mind is constantly racing. Taking the doctors advice I am exercising and enjoying running, but feel like I want to run the anxiety off everyday!! I feel like I am doing everything I can to get better.I dont hide myself away and force myself to do things however uncomfortable they are for me.I am waiting for CBT counselling, however I am quite low on the list. I am 41, single, have a daughter, unfortunately have no family support as both parents passed away and there are no other living relatives. Am trying my best to cope but finding it hard. I dont really know what to do about work, I'm trying so hard to get it together but feel my progress has halted and obviously work cannot keep me on 2 hours forever!
I seem to have rambled on quite alot considering I was nervous when I started! I joined this site because it's nice to know I am not the only one that suffers. Thanks for reading.
I seem to have rambled on quite alot considering I was nervous when I started! I joined this site because it's nice to know I am not the only one that suffers. Thanks for reading.