Scared of taking Citalopram

[Trundler]

Hi new here. Found this site today and have been finding it helpful. I collapsed mentally about a week ago with anxiety and today the GP diagnosed Acute Depression. For me it's a horrible label to have as it seems to me wrong to not be able to cope.

I'm 46 and do a pressured job that involves giving rapid telephone legal advice to up to 120 people per day and I have to be good and I have to be accurate, yet now I'm reduced to screaming at home in fear when the phone rings.

I've been off work for a week and the GP has today signed me off for another FOUR weeks!!!!

I've been prescribed Citalopram and been told to get a blood test for thyroid problems. I went down to the 'health centre' today but it was an appalling place with huge queues and there was the likelihood that I would have had to wait for another four hours to be seen. I thought sod this and left the hospital. I couldn't handle the wait with the bad attitude staff, screaming children and the loud talking and arguing from everyone.

I've been reading about the side effects of Cit and am wondering whether I should take it or flush it down the toilet.

I come from a family and a community where you deal with stuff and don't make a fuss and the fact that my problems have got to the medication stage makes me feel like a failure.

I don't know whether or not to take the Cit or not. Some people on here seem to have had positive experiences but others not so positive.

My Nan had extensive involvement with the mental health services due to post menopausal depression and suicide attempts in the 1970's when the mental health system seemed to be all barbituates, ECT and strait jackets and I'm terrified that if I surrender to the Citalopram then I'll end up in that sort of world. Her psych hospital had a lot in common with the one in 'one flew over the cuckoos nest' and it made a huge negative impression on me and has coloured my view of mental health medicine ever since.

I really am scared of taking Citalopram both for the side effects and worried that I will not 'be myself' after taking it.

I need to pull myself together and am not sure whether taking Cit will make this easier or harder.

Thanks for listening

Trundler

[Raindog]

Hi Trundler and welcome to NMP forums,
Cit isn't that bad compared to some of the older depression treatments, like the Benzo's which have a habit of becoming addictive. The first week or two of taking the Citalopram may be a bit tough as it can make your anxiety a little worse before it starts taking effect and reducing it, but it does help. I had a bad week last week when I started taking it but I'm feeling much more together and nowhere near the level of anxiety I was at before the weekend.

So at first you may well find it difficult to deal with but that's just the pills trying to adjust the chemical levels in your brain and your body trying to adjust to the meds. They won't turn you into a zombie, you might have some minor side effects for a while then they apparently fade out. I'm on my 2nd week of taking cit and feeling somewhat improved, I don't get the anxiety hitting me the moment I wake up and my depression is much more manageable so you may have to take some time for it to kick in.

If you read the sticky at the top of the Citalopram forum, PsychoPoet's Citalopram Survival Guide, you may get a few ideas of what to expect. I understand you being so scared of taking the meds, but you sound like you are confident with a strong will and that goes a long way when getting through this, so it might be well worth trying it out.

I was very worried that I'd spend several weeks getting used to the meds to find they didn't work that well but they're already making me feel more back to my old self in just the 2nd week, so it can happen if you want it to.

[jaded jean]

Hi Trundler ,
I'm with Raindog on this one. I will say just one thing YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE
I am on cit and its my 47th day? I am begining to feel lke the old me again, Saying that it could work quicker with you.
I know that ect is a last resort desicion in treatment nowadays. Can you make an appointment with your GP for a bloodtest? I would give the citalpram a try but you have to give it at least 2months to notice the benefits of it . You will see this in PsychoPoets survival guide.
Take care.
Jean

[JT69]

Hi Trundler,

I think you will benefit from taking the citalopram but like the others say the first couple of weeks can be challenging. You dont mention what dose you have been prescribed? In my own personal experience having taken this drug on and off previously for around 9 years, the lower dose I started on the less I suffered in the side effects. Having said all that you might not even suffer side effects not everyone does, and obviously the severity depends on one person to another.

If you do start to take the meds (and I think that would be a wize decision) and you do find it hard going, your gp may prescribe diazapam to help get you through until the cit kicks in.

The one good thing you do have is the fact that you have been signed off work for 4 weeks this will give your body chance to rest and give the cit time to start working for you.

Sounds like you have been having a really tough time...I do hope that you start to feel better real soon.

Take care and let us know how you get on.
JO.xx

[Danath]

HI trundler, welcome to the forums, its a freindly place and everyone here is extremely freindly and there is plenty advice and help available.

It sounds like the pressures of your job have gotten on top of you. I personally have had to give up two jobs in the past year after shortly starting them due to anxiety, so I understand how you it can make you feel like you've failed. This is not failure, some of the world's most successful people have suffered anxiety disorders, it is an illness, like catching flu or a tummy bug, even the mightiest people can be struck down unexpectedly by it.

I would take the citalopram if the doctor has prescribed it, I've taken it myself, and the only problem I had with it was finding it difficult to sleep, but these side effects soon pass and if the medicine works for you it is well worth getting through that initial short period of the side effects until the medicine becomes beneficial, who knows? you might not even get any side effects. Most of the things written in the medicine leaflets are put there just so that the medicine companies can't be sued in the highly unlikely case something does go wrong, even if it wasn't their medicine that caused it.

perhaps try switching off your landline telephone and get a nice relaxing tune on your mobile as a ringtone?

Dan

[saltydawg]

Hi Trundler,
You job sounds like mine, very high pressured and tough. I too busted my nerves last week and have been signed off work, this is second week of three so far. I'm 52 and was also taught to sort yourself out, so I just bottled it up inside..... Not good mate! This is my thrid day on Citalopram and I have been told by the Doc and the good people on here to stick it out. I have started a diary on here called my Citaloprm journey, I notice others have too. It may help you out just writing things down.. Keep strong mate, I/we know how you feel.

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi Trundler , Welcome to NMP . Dont't worry to much about side effects of Citalapram , i did as well and i had no need to . I have been on them 7 weeks and i am sleeping better and my anxiety is slowly getting there to . All i had was the first week a loss in appetite , thats it ! Try not to read to much of people's negetive experiences , i've said it before , i think we put to much emphasis on it . Have you own experience , you are unique like we all are lol
Paige x

[Crunchie]

Hi Trundler

I have just been prescribed Citolopram and feel much the same way as you about taking them. I feel like I may be going from the frying pan into the fire, from what I have read on the various side effect. I found this site last week after I had a panic attack and ended up in hospital with a suspected stroke.

I am 51 and my mum died recently and I am trying to sort stuff out and look after my dad as well as work and the usual family stuff.

I have read Psycopoets report and it is the only positive thing I have read about Citalopram so far - though if you think logically about it GP's wouldn't keep prescribing something that didn't work for the majority of people.

I may change my mind after taking my first tablet.

[Trundler]

Thank you everyone. I decided to take the Citalopram and see what happens. I was a bit ashamed of having to take medication but I've got to the stage where I think I have very few alternatives to it.

So far been taking it for two days and no side effects so far apart from needing the toilet more often. Lets hope it doesn't get any worse than that. I'm going to try to force myself to go to the shop later.

I'll be back on later.

Many thanks again

Trundler

[Raindog]

Get yourself a little treat when you make your way to the shops, even if it's just some nice biscuits or something. Keep posting even if you start to feel a bit rough, it's good to hear from people whether they feel up or down.

I've dealt with my depression for years and never been one for medication but you reach a point where you need to bite that bullet and ask for help, and when I started getting strong anxiety, that was my time.

Better days Trundler

[Oddfish]

I know what you mean about being ashamed to take the medication. This is the fourth time I've been prescribed ADs over the past 15 years or so. The first time I got them I threw them straight in the bin and never took the course. There's always that part of your mind that thinks "no, other people take these, not me, I'm ok!". My most recent prescription was in January last year and I took them for six months. I felt better and stopped, then things happened to send me down again but I was STILL digging in my heels, determined not to go back on them.Well, I was stupid. I've just started on them again. Might have been able to nip things in the bud if I'd done it sooner. Now I just think what the heck, the drug companies are churning out these things FOR anxiety and depression, and this is what I have so I might as well take them if they are there. I think we'd all be shocked if we knew how many people are actually taking them. More than you think!